Advice for EX since I suck and can't say no...
Okay, so I know that I shouldn't be involved anymore. But, I'm going to put that aside for now and ask for some advice.
For the last few weeks, BB has been denying EX's Thursday visitation because of him being about 10-15 minutes late, in addition to the time she denied it because EX took SS to see the Transformers movie. He has asked repeatedly to have her please meet him halfway which will allow him to get there on time and she refuses. Nowhere in the CO does it state where the pick up/drop off is.
Last week, EX filed a police report about this. Last night, the same thing happened, only this time EX was pulling into the parking lot as BB was pulling out with SS. He was 12 minutes late because of an accident on the road nearby. He had, as he always does, called to let her know. They were on the phone when they passed each other in their cars, with BB telling him she was tired of waiting for him and going home. So, EX went and filed another report. Thsi time, BB showed up there (she had dropped SS with his SF) to "defend" herself. Yeah, so basically, when SS could've been with her father, instead he is with NEITHER of his parents. Anyway, the policemen basically laughed at her and recommended EX file another report, which he did.
Now...question is, how to proceed. Does EX file a motion to hold BB in contempt? Technically, he is late--does that mean that if he is not there at 5:30 that she is within her rights to leave? I am afraid that this is so. In that case, should EX file for an emergency motion to clarify the CO so that a more neutral pick-up location is decided? Does he ask to move the time from 5:30 to 6?
Funny, EX said taht BB is also pregnant again. He said she must be at least 4 months. She just had a baby in December...and coincidentally she filed for an increase in support 2 months ago. The last time she got pregnant, she did the same exact thing. I feel bad for EX, I have to say. He is on his own and he's not financially stable enough for more lengthy court battles.
Any advice? I am burned out and can't think. Thanks, girls!
Krissy
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I have known
of some orders that will a 1/2 hour lead way- for traffic, travel, work etc. i think he should file b/c at least he is making an attempt- might want to tell him to write everything down- even though he has police reports- but every conversation with her etc. it will only help him.
good luck
She's being pissy, but...
Unfortunately, if the papers say "five-thirty" and don't make any allowance for being late, then I'm afraid he's screwed. Five-thirty means five-thirty, technically. If you get a hard-assed judge, he probably wouldn't consider her in contempt. He might consider dad in contempt, though, for not adhering to the scheduled pick-up time. You don't want to do anything that would backfire on him. She's not the one in contempt, because she was actually at the pick-up location on time. He's the one who's in contempt, because he wasn't there. Yes, she's being pissy about it. Basic human decency, not to mention simple etiquette, would tell anyone that it's polite to wait a few minutes, because things do happen that are beyond our control, like car accidents and whatnot. So she's morally wrong, but probably not legally wrong, unless the papers include a clause spelling out what to do in the event one of them is late to the pick-up or drop-off.
I think his best bet is to forget the contempt angle and ask for a modification. Change the time to something he can actually be on time for and maybe add a clause that says that they each agree to wait 15 minutes in the event the other is held up in traffic, etc. He could even ask her to meet him halfway, but I'd be prepared to be denied on that one. In our case, anyway, the visiting parent is the one responsible for picking up the kids. If she agrees to meet us halfway, it's just a bonus for us and it seldom happens.
~ Anne ~
"Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other." -Walter Elliot
Thanks for your input, guys.
Thanks for your input, guys. I tend to agree with you, Anne, about the contempt issue. However, I just spoke to EX and his lawyer filed a contempt motion today based on the fact that she outright denied visitation last week because she was mad that EX took SS to see the Transformers movie. (incidentally, two days later, SS showed up with two transformers that BB bought for him. Gotta love that hypocrisy.)
From what I understand, the two issues are separate and even IF BB is found in contempt, the judge won't address making changes to the order anyway. But...I guess it's good for him to have a contempt charge on record.
Who knows...serentity now, serentity now, serenity now...lol. Thanks again, guys!
Krissy