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More stupid EX stuff

Krissy's picture

EX and I had made arrangements for him to come by and pick up some things he'd left at the house on Saturday while DD was napping. He was supposed to come before he picked up SS so that SS wouldn't have to deal with seeing me and being confused or upset. However, EX calls on Saturday morning and says that SS was having nightmares that DD and I were missing or lost and that BM was calling to say that she was concerned about it (not sure what the hell he was supposed to do). Anyway, so EX said that maybe it would be good for me to come out to the car and say hi to SS so that he could see that I am happy and okay, and still at the old house. I agreed it would be good.

Well, I guess BM found out and flipped out, saying that EX is confusing SS and not acting in his best interest, which is the complete opposite of the truth. I guess EX just ripped her a new one and told her where to go, that SS was close to me and maybe traumatized by my sudden disappearance. At some point, BB also let it slip that she had gone to EX's new condo, literally had SS walk her around the complex to find EX's exact unit and scope it out when she knew EX was at work. He told her that if he ever sees her snooping around his place like she used to do to ours, he will call the police. He also told her that from now on, they WILL take turns doing picking up and dropping off and that if she wants SS to attend church on EX's weekends, she will need to pick him up and return him because EX is tired of accomodating her and getting nothing but grief and nastiness in response for busting his ass for her. Also, he warned that if she continues to discard the clothing that EX buys him because she doesn't like it ($40 worth of new stuff was thrown away because it had the Transformers themse), he'll go for a CS reduction as he's entitled to one anyway and just hasn't opted to do it.

Ladies, I ask you--WHERE WAS THIS MAN FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS??? This is exactly the kind of shit that I used to ride him about...and he would blow me off time and again, accuse me of nagging, saying that he didn't want to rock the boat. Now suddenly he's Mr. Vigilant? I mean, I'm glad he found his nuts, but why did it take me kicking his ass out for him to grow a set? I would literally beg him to PLEASE defend our family, our things, our home, our money, and it was just like he never cared to. Now suddenly he's the king of the castle protecting his kingdowm. I really don't get it. Was it just that he didn't want to give me my "way"? UGH.

Comments

OldTimer's picture

Hehee... 'sigh and bang your head against the wall'... I have that sign literally on my sewing wall... that's funny.

Wink StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

Imustbcrazy's picture

I agree with Vickie~
He has had a lot of extra time to reflect on the way things went with you, and I am sure the lightbulb went on at some point. She was lookikng for his condo???? That is just wierd. Poor kid had to help his mom snoop like that. What a wicked woman. Well, too little too late I suppose, wish for you that he would have found this manhood months or even years ago, then maybe things could have been much different. Hang in there. And you guys did the right thing be letting SS know that you are still around and safe. Who knows what kind of scenarios he was dreaming up in his mind. Poor kid.

Daddys Gurl-

Life is as sweet as you sweeten it.

Cruella's picture

For Ex to allow you to deal with all of the problems with BM. Now you are gone HE has to deal with them by himself. He is finally seeing what you have been saying all along but guess what it is too late. I wouldn't worry about it. Sounds like the payback is hell. He is catching hell! Serves him right.

Sebbie's picture

Lovers do not finally meet somewhere, they were with each other all along.

Because you were handeling things for him, he never had to feel the brunt of this wack jobs crap. Now that it is his problem alone to deal with I am sure he has a whole new prespective and believe me, the only reason those ball's of his have dropped is because when he was with you he was a little boy, now he has no choice but to be a man.

oldfriend's picture

Krissy, I think it has more to do with it than that. While I sometimes doubt the "love" of our husbands to us because they cant' be man enough to stand up for their families when it comes to these whack jobs, I have followed your story for a long time. I really think it is more than that HE has to do it. I agree with the fact that you DID do what he didn't want to deal with. And now he has no choice. But I also think HE didn't see it. I don't want to say that he thought you were crazy, but definitely something. Maybe a "typical girl" being jealous? And now he has nothing in the way to see what he missed you know? He can't ignore it. It's there. No one to block his view. And I am more than certain it ticks him off that all this time he didn't see what you were saying and now does. That he treated you so horribly because his view was clouded, and now he realizes that he was such an ass! How about when his ex was spying and you followed her to her house? She had an excuse. And he didn't want to really think that the girl he was with for so long before could really stalk him and you with her new husband. To him, it didn't' make sense. But...look at what has happened since you have stepped way back. And he's seeing that you were not crazy or looking at things wrong. He sees it was HIM. Why do you think he is telling you these things? It's his sad way of an apology. He doesn't want to flat out say you were right and he was a jerk. He's trying to tell you in a pathetic fashion.
Girl, I am not saying he is worth all of any of this. But after spending all that time with him,being together, leaning on each other, it's hard to not be at least happy in a way that he is telling you all that she is pulling. And what he does or doesn't' do with his son in regards to you, its really none of her business. If you want to stay in touch with him to some extent, that is between you and your ex and his son. Heck, if he doesn't have FROR you could maybe have him spend the night sometime. Or even if he does have FROR, hanging out will show this little boy that not everyone leaves him. You are doing the right thing because you have a good heart!

OldTimer's picture

that being you're not doing the brunt of it all now FOR him, he's finally getting the bigger picture. Sad it had to be this way for you.

The other thing is that perhaps the tension is less strained that you aren't bumping into each other on a daily basis, you know?

But, what's done is done, and I won't worry about HIS problem anymore! LOL.
Wink StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...