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SD Blocked BM on FB

KinaTina357's picture

Just a quick update to the last post. If you did't read it, BM has been using FB to guilt SD13 about her "new family." We hadn't heard from her in a year and she decided to break the ice by laying guilt trips about how she's paying child support (She's not) and how much she loves her kids but is respecting there wishes of not wanting to see her because they have a "new family," meaning me and my baby on the way. She's an alcoholic and messed up big time last mothers day and SO and the children decided they were done until she sobered up.

Anyway, we have a curved stair case at our house and SO is always joking that it's going to be a slide one day when I come home. SD found a picture of a really nice curved stair case that was a slide and stairs, posted it and tagged both me and SO in the pic. It's kind of a little family inside joke ya know? Well BM had blocked SO and I over a year ago, so I think that means she can't see us tagged in it right? All she could see is the picture and SD's caption of "We totally need this!"

Well at about 9 pm, BM comments on the picture, "I'm so happy for you and your new family, but could you please leave me out of these types of posts? Thanks. I love you too like the stars and butterfly's" It really pissed SD off. I logged into my fake profile to see BM was checked into a bar watching a hockey game, so we'll assume she's drunk.

SO and I suggested maybe it's time to unfriend BM for awhile as this is the second guilt trip post in a week and is seriously upsets SD. SD was already in the process of unfriending her when we made the suggestion. I was going to talk to SO about making an executive decision and blocking BM if SD didn't want to, but she clearly did.

SD posted, "I didn't tag you in anything, this is just a normal picture on my profile but since you're going to try to guilt trip me, I'm unfriending you!" And then she put a bunch of angry faces. She got pretty emotional about the I love you to the starts and all that. She started crying saying, "yeah she loves me so much she couldn't even show up to the court hearing to try to get visitation." I felt really bad for her. I never really know what to say. I don't bad mouth mom but I don't defend her either. If you are going to choose your booze over your children, which she basically did, then go drunkenly into the night and quit hassling them like it's their fault you're not around!!

A little rock band therapy calmed SD down and she went to bed ok. New story for the therapist!!

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KinaTina357's picture

That is a bummer. I've heard that scenario a few times on this site. I feel so bad for the poor kids that are so excited their worthless parent is showing any attention to them and then they get disappointing time and time again. That's got to be really frustrating for custodial and step parents as well. I don't know what I'd do.

My skids have been done with their mother for several years now. She's kind of a lazy drunk that lays around the house all day, so it's not like she was never around before. She actually seems like she really wants to see them, and when they first split, my SO would facilitate visits. She can't drive due to no license or car (thank god) so that was the only way she would see them. But they were always half assed visits with McDonalds for dinner and movies all day while she passed out.

I think she would have to get sober, and rebuild her life before either of the kids had anything to do with her. I'd give that scenario a chance, but I see what you are saying. She'll always be the manipulative victim even if she's sober. That doesn't seem to be anything BM concerned with trying anytime soon, so here's to hoping we don't hear from her for at least another year.

My SD seriously worries about everyone else's feelings. So she was trying to be nice. It's almost like BM tried to push her away. Maybe it's easier that way.