You are here

Congratulations you're not getting any for a month

SeeYouNever's picture

Last night I was feeling amorous. DH was on FB, he checks it about once a month. 

He asked "Are you ashamed of me? You don't have any pictures of me on your Facebook"

"What! You don't have any pictures of ME!" 

He then proceeds to show me the pictures of me on his Facebook. They are all pictures I've put up and tagged him in. I tell him I put those up! He doesn't post any pictures of me or our daughter. any pictures he has of either of us on his Facebook are because I tagged him.

Lately my FB has been all baby pictures, no pictures of him or me, and I've stopped tagging him in all of them because whatever. 

 His profile picture is 7 years old as if of him and SD. Mine is a recent picture of me and our DD. He hasn't put up any pictures of our DD. 

I'm over it and roll over. He then digs deep into his FB pictures and starts showing me baby pictures of SD and comparing her to DD. The whole exchange has put me out of the mood for at least a month.  

Comments

justmakingthebest's picture

ROFL

"The whole exchange has put me out of the mood for at least a month."

You are cracking me up- I would die. I'm the one that would be punished in that scenario. 

On a serious note- this is why social media sucks. I am active on FB but DH only posts about his runs (he is an avid runner) and Naval history. He RARELY will post anything else. I don't tag him in much. Things have been used against us in court in regards to alcohol. We aren't drunks but we like going to new breweries and lord forbid we have a cocktail on our restaurant table on a date night. 

Try not to take it too personally, men are just wired differently. The one thing that would have totally made me roll over though was the comparison of SD to your DD. He needs to knock that crap out. Yes they have the same father but they are being raised in entirely different environments and have very different mother's. They are not the same- period. 

SeeYouNever's picture

Yeah the comparisons are the worst. He speaks as if DD inherited her traits from SD rather than from him. Why can't he just say that DD looks like him rather than DD looks like SD? My in-laws are guilty of the same thing, you'd think SD was the matriarch of the whole generation of cousins because they compare every single one of them to her like she is the archetypal child.

Picardy III's picture

I'm still miffed that DH put up a FB profile pic right after our wedding... of himself with YSS at the reception! Granted, it was a great picture - but it was *our* freaking wedding. 

OTOH, he gets slightly hurt when I don't tag him in kid pics or other pics involving us both (we have very few pics of us together because neither of us like posing). Whereas I don't see the point of tagging.

So I'd take a lot of social media "love evidence" with a grain of salt... but, some things really are hurtful: that's douchey if he posts pics of your SD but not your DD. Then again, maybe he sees all the pics of DD you've posted and figures she's well covered.
 

SeeYouNever's picture

Ouch that profile picture with SS at your wedding is cringy. 

you're definitely right that my husband thinks he's covered because I post pictures of us and our DD and tag him. Granted he has not posted any new pictures of SD since before DD was born so it's not like he's posting pictures of her at the exclusion of our DD. 

Maybe today I should passive aggressively post a picture of all three of us. 

Picardy III's picture

Oh, if he doesn't post any pictures at all of you, SD, or DD, then it doesn't sounds like favoritism - just that he's not active on social media.

purplegirl201's picture

I'm not a fan of FB. I have an account but no friends other than DH and my SIL and some neighborhood groups. DH has about 200 friends and is always posting pics of SS or him and SS. I asked if he had any pics of us on there and he never answered, I know he doesn't I'm more curious as to why he doesn't. I think I will ask him again tonight, he spends way too much time on there.

I found his old FB account when he was still with BM (6 years ago) and he was always being very public about his relationship. They were very publicly affectionate with each other which is really weird becasue that isn't him. 

It was different time and a different person. 

MissK03's picture

SOs profile pic is from 2011 and it's off SD when she was 4. They only thing he writes on Facebook is once a year "thanks for the bday wishes" 

He has never once posted anything of anything. He doesn't even take pictures haha. If I didn't take pics he would literally have zero pics of his kids in the last 5 years. 
 

I post rarely. Yearly vacation, pics of the dogs once and while, and a few of him and I. I probably post 6 times a year. I tag him in everything though. 
 

Social media was part of the cause of his divorce so I think that's he  strays away from posting. I don't know though. 
 

I don't care that he doesn't post anything. I don't need him to post pics to prove anything. 
 

He is on often (multiple times a day) looking but, just never posts. 

fakemommy's picture

I have no clue what my DH's facebook profile is. We don't even follow each other on Twitter and Instagram. I don't think he's posted anything on Facebook in a while, but I don't check. I mostly post on Instagram and link it to my Facebook, which doesn't tag him. He does get his feelings hurt if I don't tag him in pictures of the kids, mainly because he doesn't post at all. Social media, and the way people approach it is funny. We all have our own ways of approaching it. Have you talked to DH about it and let him know it is important to you?

SeeYouNever's picture

He's the one that brought it up this time. He wants me to post pictures of him to my FB while he doesn't post anything at all to his. I think social media is just another task that he is relegated to me. Curating family pictures on social media is just another bit of women's work.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

I'm convinced that social media is a curse on society and it brings out the worst in people. Yes, it's nice to keep in touch with people you otherwise don't get to see, but i don't know if it's actually good for us to be in touch with that many people at once.

If you're a cheater, it gives you the ability to find no end of partners and communicate in secret. If you're an insufferable know-it-all, endless opportunities to argue. If you are an attention seeker or exhibitionist, you can post endless selfies, and if you are insecure (me), you can constantly compare your reality to other people's carefully curated highlight reel. And your DuH can use it to bring SD, or pics and talking about her  anyway, to the one place you (hopefully) get to be away from her - your bed, ensuring his dumba$$ doesn't get laid for a month!