Working is being used against us
We got the response from BM for our hearing next week. Her #1 complaint for SS13 to not be able to come out to the east coast from the mid-west is that we work. Since BM doesn't believe in holding a job (for the last 10 years) she doesn't think that SS should come see us where "he will be left alone all day".
1st of all- SO get's home from work at the LATEST 2pm, I am home by 3:30. I work less than a mile from my house and come home for lunch. The last 2 summers and spring breaks, I come home from lunch, wake him up, cook him food and go back to work. By the time he showers and gets dressed SO is home. No big deal. He is 13 freaking years old, not a toddler!
We are requesting that our lawyer specificly question what she does to financially support SS. What her plans are once alimony runs out (we are trying to have that end with this hearing)? Do judges actually punish a parent for being the sole financial supporter for BM's house as well as 1/2 supporter of ours?
Her other thing was baseball. Out where he is they are so small they don't have parks and rec baseball. So baseball season goes most of the summer after school gets out. Baseball has been why she has only allowed him to come out for a couple of weeks the last 2 years. Back in Feb. he wrote her an email stating that as his father and joint legal guardian he will not be allowing SS to play baseball since that has been an excuse to not send him out to us for the last 2 years.
Well, we found out last night that he is signed up for baseball and has it in his head that he will come out afterwards. Again only leaving his dad a couple of weeks. He will miss our wedding and he will miss our vacation at Myrtle Beach. SO is going to be crushed. We have already paid for the vacation and we aren't postponing the wedding. I have so much hatred in my heart for SS's mother. I just can't let it go.
SO wants his lawyer to state that if summers are that important for being home and not working, then SS should live with us during the school year so that our schedules will all match up and she can have summers home with him.
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I agree! But how would BM get
I agree! But how would BM get CS?? *scatches head. This wreaks of manipulation and an insecure, power/money hungry BM. I hope your lawyer can figure this out for you.
That is all she is... It is
That is all she is... It is so hard to not be able to fix things. I hate being helpless. I keep hoping that God has a plan for us and that there is a reason that this is happening.
So do I and I will think of
So do I and I will think of you in my prayers. I know just how hard it is to feel helpless and how frustrating it is to see your SO hurting because of the mistake he chose to breed with.
Is THIS all she has?
Is THIS all she has? Apparently so.
I know it is nearly impossible to take her 'chief' problem with a grain of salt. I remember being deep in that mix myself. The Ludacris accusations, lies are unnerving to say the least.
FYI Generally speaking many states remain silent and do NOT have minimum age requirments for leaving a child at home unattended. Naturally it is assumed parents make proper decisions for their kids to keep them safe. Here is a link I found for you. I would encourage you to give a ring to a dss in a town 'near you but different city' and ask them the question.
http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm
On a scarcastic note...WHAT??? BM give up more free time without her child??? Not a chance. IF she agrees to switch custody, she will loose her income. AND she would loose summers all to herself. Plus get paid full support while basking in the sun.
HEY maybe your ss13 has decided it is HIS time to spend the next several years with dad? Might be worth a modification to change custody that way. Make sure son tells the Judge he loves his MOM and wants to have a relationship with her BUT he just wants to live full time with his dad because he needs his dad now, you know for 'boy things'.
That was the 1st thing I
That was the 1st thing I looked up when I saw that was her complaint- in their state the minimum age to be left alone by law is 9, our state has no minimum but social services reccommend 10-11. At 13 he is fine in both states. I know there is no way she would be willing to give up custody, SS is her paycheck. If she loses that she might lose her man too! SS has no balls yet. His mom has him warped. He will tell us that he would like to live here but he would never say it infront of her or a judge. He is a sweet kid, I can see him saying something like I love both my parents but my mom needs me.
That's another problem: these
That's another problem: these women have their kids so brainwashed that the kids think the mothers "need" them. Why can't dads be parents, too? Ridiculous.
That is SS(25), he tells each
That is SS(25), he tells each parent what he thinks they want to hear. When push comes to shove he will always side with BM. DH didn’t see it at first but after years of SS saying “Yeah Dad I love to _____” only to have him bail at the last min, DH has learned. I pointed out every time he did it. Not in a nasty or I told you so way, just in conversation. DH finally got it and now if SS shows up great, if not oh well. DH doesn’t get his hopes up.
SD(28) has missed both Xmas and Easter with us because BM has no one in her life. DH and I have each other and lots of friends and family around. BM would be all alone. This comes straight from SD.
Well, I guess there are consequences to being a nasty biotch that no one likes. SD doesn’t see that though and she rushes out to be BMs emotional crutch.
They are both adults. I have a good relationship with them but I don’t get hurt like DH does when they dump us for her.
Sports are important to kids.
Sports are important to kids. Is there anyway he can spend the whole summer with you and play baseball in your state? That way he can still participate but your SO does not lose his custody time?
Absolutley! We are asking for
Absolutley! We are asking for that to happen
Just out of curiosity, why
Just out of curiosity, why does your SO live so far away from his child?
SO is military. When BM left
SO is military. When BM left she took SS back to her home state. Made promises that the seperation was temporary, she still loved him and wanted to work it out, blah, blah, blah... Just long enough to get 6 months in her state and establish residency for SS.
What an idiot. So she is
What an idiot. So she is complaining that DH works... but bet she's not complaining about the CS she gets.. from the salary he makes.. from WORKing. Hopefully the judge laughs her out of the courtroom.
I hope so, too! They never
I hope so, too! They never complain about the income!