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Here we go again!! Fall sports!

Biostep7777's picture

Omg. This woman! SS15 is starting high school this month and doing marching band which is practice every weekday night, Friday nights for football, and weekend games/competitions from now through November. This lunatic messaged my DH and said "SS also wants to do baseball and he said he wants to try out for the high school baseball team in the spring so it is of upmost importance that he does baseball this  fall to ensure he gets on the team on the spring. Some other kids on band are doing baseball. It's low key and he wants to do it so I really hope you will support this" 

omfg!!! She is so annoying. Okay 1) DH already told her he is at his budget for sports this fall 2) it is court ordered that she is not to overschedule the kids and if they make a commitment they should show up for their commitments (which it is impossible for him to do that doing both marching band AND baseball 3) youngest SS is on travel ball and DH will be pretty much gone with him all weekend so guess what?? Either she comes and gets SS at my house for baseball or I have to take him. I am not ok with either of those options. I absolutely do not want her infringing on our weekends and we are all very uncomfortable with her coming here. This is my home. My safe place from her. I don't want her here and I have kids so can't commit to taking him every weekend. 4) marching band is a huge commitment and he needs to start making decisions on what is important to him rather then just getting whatever he wants and leaving his other team out a player when he can't show up 1/2 the time. Give that spot to a kid who really wants it and who will actually show up!!! Selfish SELFISH! Ugh! DH said he doesn't agree to baseball for all these reasons. It's going to be weeks of her harassing and messaging him now. We will ignore and document but man, she's s piece of work!





CastleJJ's picture

You cannot control BM, you can only control how you react to her. I know it is so annoying, but you knew to expect this. At least she is predictable. Your DH has already stated his position. Now he can just sit back and ignore her. If it gets bad enough, block her for a while. You are absolutely right! Skid can't attend all of those sports at the same time. It isnt possible. The best part, skid doesn't have to attend on your time either. Your DH can dictate what skid attends during your parenting time and he can flat out say "No" to attending any of it. Do not, as the SM, take skid to anything and do not let BM pick up to transport skid to sports. Absolutely not. 

How did your court stuff ever turn out? I feel like you've been absent from the blogs for a long while until I saw your most recent posts in the last few days? 

Biostep7777's picture

Thanks! No court yet. It's literally ridiculous. They have mediation in September. It's going to accomplish nothing. She won't agree to a thing! So who knows!!! Court might be in 3 months. 6 months! Who freaking knows! Yes it's super frustrating. Yeah I have been stepping back from this stuff a lot. We ignore her as much as possible but sometimes it just gets to be too much. She had me disposed. Her attorney was gross. Asking me if my kids have mental issues, asking what medications we are all on and I had to answer all these invasion questions. It was a pathetic attempt to try to humiliate me but I pretty much laughed at them the whole time. It was comical. 

CastleJJ's picture

Even though you and DH haven't had court yet, you already seem like you are in a better headspace than you were when you first joined the blog. I am happy to see the progress you have made, even though BM continues her shenanigans. 

Biostep7777's picture

100%!!! I get annoyed sometimes but then remember "oh that's right, she is toxic and unhealthy and bitter and sick and everything she says and does is a reflection on her, not us! Everything she has tried has backfired because we have the truth on our side and we are mentally healthy human beings" I'm over it by then! Lol 

PetSpoiler's picture

I feel bad for you guys and the SS.  He is getting way overbooked.  My daughter is in marching band and during football season her time is not her own.  I just don't see how any parents would want to have their child involved in multiple activities at the same time.  Especially when one of them is baseball.   My SS played baseball in school and it took up more time than marching band ever thought about taking.  At least with marching band it only lasts a few months and then it's pretty much done the rest of the school year.  Baseball seems to go on forever.  He will not be able to keep up with both things.  But I understand that BM is high conflict and SS likely won't tell her he doesn't want to do both at one time.  Your husband will have to stand strong and say no.  

I'm partial to band myself.  My daughter at least gets weekends to herself unless there's a competition.  They usually have two a year.  But none of this is your problem.  Your husband will have to figure this one out.  

FinallySkidFree's picture

Ignore her. Just say NO and that is that. You can't control her, but you CAN decide how you let her affect your home and your household. No NO and FREAKING NO and let her jump off a cliff. Your DH seems to have learned how to play the game, he needs to stand firm, NO. NO, you will not transport him on MY time, NO he will not do another activity, and my final answer is NO.

AKsc's picture

My SS is constently playing some kind of, spring baseball, fall baseball or travel ball (did I name them all bc I dont do sports lol) BM says " we need to suport the SS because its for his mental and physical health" I call bullshit, its for her public reputation, but not my say....anway, every weekend the SS is at my house, its in and out all weekend going back and forth to sports, which is a 45 minute drive from our house. Leaves us ZERO time togehter. All the harsh feelings builds up and when my husband tries to brag on his SS with his sporting events, I simply have no interest! Pat on the back, go get him a cookie kinda feelings. 

Biostep7777's picture

He did. She has sent him 2 more messages going on and on about how she's a single mother who has to work hard to put the kids needs first (because now baseball is a need?) and how DH would probably just have them play video games anyway so why is he not saying yes. How if he doesn't say yes she will just let the coach know he can only play on "her time" and she is trying to get DH to go to coparenting therapy. Lol!! She's literally lost it!