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Taking Bets

justmakingthebest's picture

DH is supposed to be called for SS14's parent teacher conferences that are "student lead" tomorrow at 10 am. BM is supposedly going to be present. 

Taking bets on SS showing up?

BM allowing it once she gets there?

SS even talking?


This is such a shit show... 

DH text to me: "I don't matter to her and she wants me to not matter to him"

me: "You matter, my love. If you didn't, she wouldn't be so afraid to lose him to you. This is all really her insecurities in her ability to be the favored parent in SS's eyes"


I hate that I can't make this better for him. He is such a good man and good dad. She regrets leaving him and so now that we are married she is punishing him for moving on even though she lives with her BF and has been with him about as long as we have been together. 


bananaseedo's picture

Didn't you know though?  GUBM's can always move on,,but dads are supposed to stay suspended on ice and their whole lives on hold and be fully available for bm's/skids every whim....they aren't 'allowed' to move on, let alone be happy.

thinkthrice's picture

biodads are supposed to forever remain celibate after their "one true love" aka the "mother of their child(ren)" and hold a candle for her till death  (TM)


Chef works with a guy like of our subcontractors.  Now the guy is not very attractive, granted, but he still runs over to his ex (who has moved on DECADES ago) and kisses her ass, fixes her car, her house while her new DH/SO, pops open a beer and watches! 

He no longer pays CS because his kids have aged out, but he kissed their asses too and now they don't even give him the time of day UNLESS they want something, namely $$$.

My bet is on "will be ghosted."

shamds's picture

i remember exwife marrying her exhigh school sweetheart the week divorce was official by the courts and it turns out she’d been dating him before hubby even separated from her. That guy left his wife for her.

then 2 sd’s are indoctrinated with crap expecting they could end contact with dad for over 5 years and act like nothing happened. So gubm is allowed to move on and remarry but how dare hubby date or move on

how livid was my hubby’s exwife, the moment she heard about me being caucasian, she told the girls and hubbys sisters that i was some caucasian christian whore and she had to protect the girls from me. 

What it was, was that when divorce was finalized exwife bragged how in demand she was that she could snap her fingers and get a man. Hubby was an old ugly man that noone wanted and would die old. Turns out hubby looked so much younger than his real age as he was finally happy not being married to her. He met and married a younger woman than exwife and had 2 gorgeous kids. Exwife was livid because she now saw her 3 demon spawn as useless, unattractive and she’d sabotaged their lives and they’d failed to launch so she has them coax and guilt hubby into providing financial support indefinitely for them...

if some of these people spent the same effort of vindictiveness against their ex on their current relationships, they would have well functioning stable relationships and households. But i guess when life is shit it does piss you off to know your ex is rooting for their current spouse over your shriveled worthless ass...

Daisymazy2's picture

When my XH and I were going through a divorce, we had to wait a year to file.  He called me a little over the year mark and stated that he didn't really want to go through with the divorce.  He left to be with another woman and they had already been living in "our" house for over 6 months.  I didn't want him back and wanted him to move on.  I told him NOPE, file the divorce.  I was moving on and already accepted that he had moved on.  I still accepted the fact that he was my kids Dad and for the first time ever he was offering to parent them SOME.  

BM still hasn't accepted that DH is moved on.  She can but DH just can't and he doesn't deserve to parent or help parent SD.  

I just don't understand...

My father was killed in a work related accident when I was 4 years old.  I never wanted my children to feel the loss that I felt by not having my father in my life.  

ITB2012's picture

Can he call the school to let them know he's available and give them his number? Then the TEACHER can make the call instead of relying on BM or SS to handle it (and make excuses).

justmakingthebest's picture

This was all set up through the 504 coordinator who is very "pro-dad" in this whole thing. However, once BM comes in and the monkey's start flying, everyone bows down to the wicked witch (even funnier since she is in Kansas). 

strugglingSM's picture

By the time I met DH, BM was already remarried. Despite this, she still lost it when it became clear to her that DH and I were in fact in a serious relationship and that DH had the nerve to move on. 

As DH has told me, "she just wanted me to be pathetic and lonely for the rest of my life." 

The BM in my life also tries to hide information about school events from DH and then accuse him of not attending. She also spends more mental energy on trying to convince one SS that DH is terrible...while then trying to deny that she's ever said anything negative about DH to anyone. She basically ignores the other SS, so doesn't bother to try to convince him that DH is terrible. 

Both SSs were in counseling for less than two months...counseling BM demanded they go to because they "were in crisis" and needed a space to tell everyone "how they truly feel" about DH. When that didn't happen (i.e. when they didn't tell the counselor how much they hated DH) and when the counselor actually helped them to be independent thinkers, BM stopped taking them. We only know they don't go, because DH had been going to sessions with one SS and at the last session, the counselor indicated that neither child was going to counseling anymore. 

Some women have an extreme need to control others and something as simple as a divorce won't stop them from trying to control their ex husbands. I think many of them probably had children to give themselves someone they could have complete control over. 

thinkthrice's picture

despite the Gir wanting the breakup. then dragging her feet on the divorce,  she "cursed" Chef and told him he would die a lonely old man.

secret's picture

Our school here have a portal. I signed both dh and I up. We receive emails (well me...dh doesn't so emails) now...a d I laid out the situation for the teacher.

Funny how BM toed the line once the teachers were made aware that she wasn't the full time single sorryass pity party she made herself out to be