I don't know what SS20's deal is lately but I swear he is regressing. (Sorry, this is long and rambling.. I guess I was more irritated than I realized!) SS20 is also autistic and a number of other issues as well.
We went out for most of the day Saturday. DH actually had 2 days off in a row!! Before we left, I went up to road and brought him back a breakfast sandwich that he likes (a little bit of a bribe to get up and moving). We left at 11am and we were gone until 10pm. He did not do his chore. He did not eat the rest of the day. He did not take his morning meds, he did not get dressed, he did not brush his teeth- nothing.
He has a routine that he knows he is supposed to follow. He knows the rules. We are in the process of adult guardianship of him and sometimes I feel a little guilty just because it takes so much from him but then days like this happen (and they are becoming more and more frequent).
We asked him why he didn't eat, there were plenty of things for sandwiches, leftovers, the ravioli that he likes was in the pantry, there was a frozen pizza he could put in the toaster oven (he is scared to use the big oven), mac and cheese cups that you microwave... There were options. He just won't bother if I don't put a plate in front of him. He just shrugged and said he forgot.
We asked why he didn't shower or brush his teeth or get dressed. He got mad and started yelling at DH- which was quickly shut down. But once again- he just didn't care.
Same with meds- I forgot. He HAS to take those meds on regulated times. One of them is lithium that split for morning and night. You don't mess around with that.
Then yesterday I was on the phone and he (ss) realized his med container was out (we do 2 weeks at a time). He starts yelling at DH- DH jumps his butt for not saying anything on Sunday when he took his last one. Then DH asks him why he can't take out the bag of meds and fill them up. He said he doesn't know what he takes and when. HE HAS HAD THE SAME PILLS FOR YEARS. There have been a few dosage changes but the same meds.
I get frustrated over his lack of caring about anything sometimes. We don't ask him to do much. He has to go to work 4 days a week for 4 hours. He leaves with me for a ride- so get up in the morning. He has to clean his room on Wed. He has to load the dishwasher at night- he maybe remembers 3x a week. He refuses to do it when we are done eating and wants to do it later. Then "forgets". I swear to dog I am going to lose it on him tonight if he argues over it. Then he has to help take out the trash when BS isn't home.
That's it. That is all he has to do in life. I do his laundry. I make his bed with clean sheets weekly (the bottom sheet stresses him out). He doesn't do yard work, he doesn't sweep or vacuum. He doesn't clean bathrooms. He doesn't do 1/2 the stuff my bios have been doing since they were 5/6 years old. He is supposed to be age adjusted to 13. I am not asking too much.
It just get's hard yelling (fussing) at a 6 foot tall, 20 yo man child to freaking shower some days! I mean I have to smell his hair to make sure he actually did before we go in public or to see family so that I am not embarrassed by him!
** DH is wonderful and when he is home, is the bad guy for me. I just shoot him a text from across the room and it is like JMTB never even noticed. DH will also correct SS without me saying anything if he catches it first. The problem is currently DH is home/awake for maybe 16-20 hrs a week. His schedule is the worst!!!! It won't be forever, it just sucks the big one right now. **