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SS20

BettyRay's picture

SS20 has been living with us and going to Uber-Expensive University since last fall. He is extremely selfish and entitled. Under normal circumstances I can deal with him. But a bunch of things have happened over the course of this year that make me want to scream every time I'm in the same room with SS20.

It started when DH broke is leg in March, it was almost amputated. DH was off work for 12 weeks. DH could barely get around, he used a walker and was on some powerful meds. During this time SS20 acted as if nothing had happened. I asked SS20 for help with DH numerous times and he refused. Two instances have stuck with me.

1. DH was scheduled to be released from the hospital on a Saturday. I woke up early that morning and told SS20 that I may need his help getting DH into the house. I said that I would text him when I knew better what was going on and when we'd be home so he could meet us. SS20 told me he was working. To which I said I know, which is why I'll text you so you don't have to take the whole day off. You can run home and help when I know better what's going on with DH, and then go back to work. SS20 said again I have to work and will not help. I said you can help and work will understand, it's your Dad, plus you've been with this company for 4 years and they like you. SS20 glared at me, then gave me his boss's phone number and said I need to call his boss. SS20 stomped off. I did text SS20 when DH was released. I got no response so I called, got voice mail; called his boss; got his voicemail. No one returned my calls. I ended up asking the next-door neighbor for help. That night SS20 stayed at BMs and didn't bother to contact DH or I.

2. It was 4 weeks into DH's recovery. I was exhausted. DH pill schedule was such that I had not gotten a decent nights sleep in weeks. I knew SS20 would be up studying late. I asked him to make sure DH got his pill at 11 p.m. SS20 said I won't remember to do that, BettyRay you will have to do it. So I did and SS20 was still up when I got up to make sure DH got his meds.

I resent SS20.

Now DH is just starting to realize what an @ss SS20 is. SS20 stayed with BM for the month of August. During that time SS20 never bothered to contact DH. DH texted him a couple of times and never got a response. DH was upset. Then Sunday SS20 texts DH asking how our weekend is going. I told DH, SS20 will be back tomorrow night, this is his way of sucking up to you. Monday night SS20 texts DH I'm on my way. SS20 literally walked through the door as we were sitting down to dinner. SS20 then announces that he's back for the school year. :sick:

Last night I came home to an angry DH. SS20 ate three-quarters of a large mixing bowl full of DH's homemade salsa. DH made the salsa the night before. DH told SS15 he could have the rest of it for a snack. Well SS20 starts digging in with SS15, DH told SS20 to get the F away and let his brother have some. This is out of character for DH.

At dinner DH gave SS20 a list of chores that he needs to do each week. I know SS20 won't do them, I'm just tired of this. SS20 needs to move out and be on his own.

~BettyRay

Comments

Icansorelate's picture

is DH on board with telling ss it is time for him to leave? Is he at least on board with laying down house rules for SS? What will DH do when SS does not do the chores?

Acratopotes's picture

Just keep quiet for a week Betty, seems like DH is not walking blind through life, seems like he knows his kid better then most parents and DH is not a Disney Dad.....

keep quiet for a week, if SS did not chores then ask DH, SS is ignoring US, don't you think it's time to sit him down and say, Sonnyboy, we expected you to do things, which you ignored, now you have one week to ship out or you will have to move in with BM permanently, this is not a hotel, we all have to pull our weight .... or something like this...

Don;t instruct DH to do something, talk to him and ask him what "WE" can do... in this case it's not what are YOU going to do, that would put him on defense...