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justmakingthebest's picture

My niece was in a long term relationship with her HS BF, they have 2 kids together. She is 24. Back in May she found out he was cheating. They split. They had a verbal agreement for 50/50 week on/week off. Well after his 1st week, he disappeared with the kids. Then he filed abuse allegations with the kids. My poor niece has been fighting like crazy to get her 1 and 3 yr old back.

The GAL was finally assigned and told the dad that he had to start giving her 50/50. My sister (1/2- we weren't raised together, she had a hard life, I did not) helped her get an apartment and all moved in this past weekend.

Well, my sister and niece got in a fight because she wanted to go back to her apartment with the kids and my sister told her no and that she wasn't taking the kids. When my niece tried my sister started punching her. Some of her swings landed on the 1 yr old. She, the baby, now has bruises all over her face and a black eye.

My niece called me crying asking what to do. I told her to call the police. She has to file assault charges on her mother or she will lose the kids. With everything she has gone through if she doesn't do it formally, she will lose those babies forever.

I am praying I gave her the right advice, I am going to lose my sister and my niece will lose her mother but I don't see any other way. Please tell me I gave her the right advice!!!


tog redux's picture

I think you gave the right advice.

Why wouldn't her mother let her take the kids? I'm confused.

justmakingthebest's picture

She wanted to have the night with the grandkids and my niece just wanted to take them to the new apartment and put them to bed and let them have a night there as thier own little family.

Chmmy's picture

Thats the right advice. Im sorry youre going to lose your sister but it sounds like she may be toxic or have a personality disorder.  Who beats up their daughter to the point the 1 year old gets bruised up. I dont blame your neices ex for wanting the kids away from that. Think of the exes family's point of view with your neice as the bm and your sister as the gbm. It's hard to see it as it's your family but that's not a good environment for the kids.

ESMOD's picture

I agree you told her to do the right thing... she needs to show that she acted swiftly when the chips were down.  She may want to get a restraining order as well.. it's unfortunate but this still may put a bit of weight on her Ex'es claims against her...


SteppedOut's picture

Yep. Seriously, she hit the baby? Niece (nor you) should care if you lose her as a mom (sister). If that happened to me/my baby, that person would be cut out if my life forever. 

Aunt Agatha's picture

You did the right thing.  

It sounds as if your sister needs serious help.  I hope she gets it.

susanm's picture

She doesn't have an option.  She has to file charges against her mother.  Her children are her priority and her mother committed a violent crime that resulted in injury to an infant.  This could have a major impact on her custody fight even if she does press charges and cut all ties between the children and her mother.  She is in a terrible position.  I really hope that she has a support system because she is going to need one.

Gimlet's picture

You did the right thing.  Toxic people like your sister will never accept accountability for their actions and will displace it on others.

Of course you're a c u next Tuesday, because it can't possibly be her fault. 

Your niece losing her kids to smooth things over with her abusive mother would have been a terrible outcome. 

I'm sorry you're going through this.

justmakingthebest's picture

Thank you ladies. This is all just horrible. 

I just want to call my dad right now and thank him again for adopting me. The fact that this is all happening on that biological side of my family is just proof that so many step parents save kids. I could have grown up like that. I could have had a life like my sister and act and think like she does but my mom and dad made sure that never happened. I just pray my niece can break the cycle in her family.