depressed and stressed ... NEED ADVICE!!!
Where to begin, where to begin. It really is hard to know where to start atm...
There's his kid, his parents, his dog ect ... all just getting to me.
He's a BRAT, he doesn't do as he's told, he always has to interrupt (even if I tell him to go away when SO and I are having a minute alone). He's not getting disciplined hardly anywhere now ... The only discipline he gets, is basically from me, and I'm starting to really not give a shit anymore, to the point where I just want to walk out and get my own place again so mine and my sons stuff don't get wrecked. He's spoilt to the max from SO's parents and from SO's sisters (when they in town) and from all of his BM's side of the family as far as I know. SO wants to do nothing but spoil the little monster all the time, even though my son hardly ever gets anything, although I'm starting to change that, and getting him small things here and there, and I am starting to save up for him and the soon-to-be baby.
Always trying to find something wrong with their brat which results in more appointments that they have to attend together for NO REASON! Gets up SO when she knows no-one is around. She causes nothing but problems (unneccesary court, and mediation and such), she's been acting like a complete bitch ever since she found out he had a new partner, and worse again when she found out we were pregnant. A few times, she has broken agreements (by parking in our drive-way TWICE, changing where the brat gets picked-up/dropped-off at the last minute, changing times for pick-ups/drop-offs at the last minute ect ...) Tried getting up SO because I walked out of my house ... I NEVER get out of the car at her place or any of her relatives places. She's just a vendictive bitch, who likes to do what she can to cause problems for SO, which in turn leaves more problems for us ...
Haven't liked me since word go - I'll always just be "that girl", that's what his mum called me the first time I really went to his parents place with SO to get some clothes for SO ... his mum didn't realize I was standing behind him, and starting saying, "if you're going to THAT GIRLS place ...", SO stood aside and she saw me and went quiet. That moment was AWKWARD! They don't give me the benefit of the doubt because of SO's stupid freakin whore of an ex (Brat's BM), and they are always so quick to judge me if I need some time away from SO ... they are always telling him to get out of the relationship and do it before the baby comes along so he doesn't have apart in the babies life so he doesn't form a bond with him and such ... At the moment, my son and I are staying clear of his parents ...
He doesn't look after him, and due to a complaint, we had the RSPCA come around, and I DO NOT want my name tarnished with cruelty to animals because he can't look after the mutt he freakin wanted so freakin bad!
They are all a bunch of pricks, they said they were family orientated, but things seem to be getting worse with all our baby appointments and the time he's had off work and such ... But with all his stress from that, he takes it out on me and my son, especially when he's tired.
He takes things out on me and my son, he can easily discipline my son, but can't even discipline his own brat, he only wants to seem to show affection to his son - I basically have to ask for it, and even when I do he doesn't even really do so - to get the affection, I have to sit on his lap whilst watching tv to even get a cuddle. But yet, he'll happily sit there and watch tv and cuddle up to his son whilst I'm cooking dinner, and not even bother to help until he knows there isn't much more to do ... same with cleaning ...
I don't have a license or a car, so basically we all have to rely on him and his ute for appointments and shopping and such (we are working on me getting a license), but anyways, his ute has a whole heap of problems, and he always leaves them till when they HAVE to get done (the most expensive time to get done in most cases), which in turn leaves us in more financial trouble than what we are in (such as something as simple as something that could have cost us $80, ended up costing us just over $1000).
With this pregnancy, it has taken more than its toll on me. I started going to a councellor about another problem in my past, rape, but decided that its not the best option to dive into that part of me just yet. Especially with the stress it would cause on the baby through my body. I have been seeing a councellor after most baby appointments just to keep track of how I am going mentally and emotionally through it all, and we are going to see about relationship councelling very soon (going to make a call or 2 today).
The thing is, I have thought all along and such, that we did start living together TOO SOON! It was great when he was "living" with his parents and basically staying at my apartment all the time - although I was annoyed at how I asked him to not have his son stay overnight for a fair while, until we got to know each other better, but anyways, he decided to ignore that request and automatically decided to have him stay there overnight the first night that he had the chance to.
I just really miss having my space, where no one could tell me or my son what to do in OUR home! My son KNOWS his boundaries and he knows when and where he's allowed to go throughout the house. His brat though, because he chooses not to discipline the thing, he doesn't know and therefore I get an earful because my son doesn't just have to stay in the lounge room all the time, or have to have a CONSTANT eye on him ...
If I did get my own place, I would be able to set it up how I wanted it to be, I wouldn't get in trouble for doing so. My son would definitely feel more at ease, because his week wouldn't be turned upside down every second half. He would feel comfortable 24/7. Of course with that, his kid would hardly, if at all, be allowed to come to my place, he WOULD NOT have a bed there or anything ... It would be MY place.
SO is really mixed up about me getting my own place, the first time I brought it up, he said if I'm sure it would help go for it, but now he is really dead against it.
I'm so freakin tired, especially the second half of the week, his brat is an early riser, fair enough right, but when he does wake up, he auntomatically just starts crying and most morning just throws a tantrum and wakes my son and I up! This pregnancy is more than enough, and I really need my sleep (I usually end up asleep by 9:30pm - 10:00pm at the latest), but I still like to sleep in longer than 5:00am-5:30am.
Sorry this is so long, but what would you all advise (or even do) with the different things in his life, as well as moving out? ANYTHING would be muchly appreciated!!!
Sorry its so long!!! Thanks in advance!