You are here

Maybe SS16 is seeing the light?

justmakingthebest's picture

I was at the pool today with my baby bro (he is 31 now but still my baby brother!) and SIL. SS16 really looks up to my brother, he had lived a pretty awesome life and women have always been drawn to him- so for an uncle- super cool guy!

Anyway, he was telling my brother he want to join the Army. I mentioned that since he is a DOD dependent, they will look at his medical records and he will get denied because of his EDS diagnosis. Then I said that if he wants all the documentation showing he doesn't have it, I will be happy to give it to him and he can take it to his doctor to have it "resolved" like all the other crap we managed to get off his medical records. I said that his mom lied to force it, that's why he saw 4 doctors before one finally agreed that he had EDS.

He said YES! He wants the paperwork  and needs to see his doctor to get it off and he has no idea why his mom kept pushing it. Said it was stupid!! 

Y'all!!! I just said okay. I will have it before you go. 

I was afraid to say anything else about it but he kept talking to my brother about all the places my bro has been and how SS wants to do all this stuff and get out of Kansas! My mind is blown!

I don't care if he shows his mom. I don't care if she throws a fit (neither does DH). MAYBE if she does a judge will actually look at the records he has refused to for the last 5 freaking years! 


SteppedOut's picture

It seems to me this kid acts however he thinks he needs to in order to "please" the people around him. 

Personally, I wouldn't send the paperwork with him - he's 16. He could lose it (if he even really wants it) or his mom could throw it away. And tbh, I would do fukle to help this kid that has been so disrespectful to you and yours. 

shellpell's picture

 "And tbh, I would do fukle to help this kid that has been so disrespectful to you and yours."  YEP!!

notarelative's picture

This kid has a history of having a good visit and then things revert when he is home.
 I anticipate BM convincing him it's bogus and it being thrown away. I'd send him with copies of the paperwork. I'd keep it for when he's trying to sign up for the service and would actually use it if he wants to join.

justmakingthebest's picture

It is very true that he reverts as soon as he is with his mom. 

I would only give him copies but he will be 17 in 2 months. I think he is old enough to see the lies.

thinkthrice's picture

But this kid is adept at playing both ends against the middle.  Those paperwork copies won't see the light of day once they get back to the Mothership.

justmakingthebest's picture

You are probably right but it sure will piss her off that he wanted them! LOL

And I can say with witnesses that he said he would like to have them so he can take them to his new doctor. You know the 7th or 8th one in the last 5 years....

thinkthrice's picture

That he will deny requesting them if the mother ship gets ahold of them. 

He will say that you guys forced him to take it and that you are brainwashing him to believe that he is not really ill.  Sad but guar-an-teed.

I would say since he is only 16 "let us know when you are moved out and on your own and we will give you the paperwork you need."

Unlike Investments,  past performance IS an indicator of future actions.

notarelative's picture

He's old enough for the truth. The lies directly impact the future he is planning. The lies are the brick wall that will stop any enlistment plans.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I don't see any harm with sending copies.  Even if his mom gets rid of them, you can still say you did your best, not give it a second thought and move on.  I wouldn't go super out of your way to get the copies, but if they're easy to get, I don't see why it would be an issue.

I agree that he's old enough to see the lies, and a lot of times it's easier to see clear away from the issue (think of it like a bad relationship, when you're in the chaos you get gaslighted, guilted, and you start questioning your own sanity).  Whether he really does or does not are two totally different things.  But giving him some paperwork isn't going to hurt anything, might piss mommy dearest off, but you guys are clean here.  nothing you're doing can get you in any form of legal trouble, she lives accross the country, you DH is still out there paying child support, and she's already alienating your SS, there's literally not much else she can even do.

lieutenant_dad's picture

New theory : SS is pissed at both his parents and he's just biding his time until he can escape.

He's pissed at BM for making life difficult, and probably pissed at DH for pissing off BM and making his life more difficult through that. Even if he sees the lies, that doesn't mean he wants to deal with the drama and fallout from it all.

Give him the copies. Worst case scenario, nothing comes from it. Best case scenario, he joins the military and builds a better life for himself. 

advice.only2's picture

I agree the kid adapts to what enviornement he is in and appeases the parties he is around at the time.  Spawn was the same way.   It's a defense mechanism they learn early on, especially if one of the parents is super abusive...which I'm sure his BM is...just like Meth Mouth was with Spawn.