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Just confused's picture

Found out SDs gram sent her to crisis. I guess she was cutting and when she was asked about it her reply was “I don’t know”. But she wasn’t trying to hide the fact that she was doing it. I really do feel like it’s to get attention. 

The grandmother didn’t know what else to do, so SD is in there for 7-10 days unless they discover she has more issues. I’m hoping she gets right because until she does she’s not welcome in my family’s home. 

I shouldn’t have to explain to my 8 & 10 year olds this kind of I’m not going to. They barely know her and it will continue that way until she stops and acts like a semi-normal  13 year old


Harry's picture

She will a bad effect on your family and kids.  You can’t have a 12 year old that nobody knows go into your home. Your kids will look up to there older cooler sister. And become as crazy as SD. BM and GM did this to SD and they should try to fix it.  Or live with it. 

--figureditout--'s picture

My stepdaughter was 13 when she started cutting. My bios were 7 and 4. They were told that she is sick on the inside and that it was not something they could catch.

They saw way too much for kids their age. As much as I hate to say it, she can be a danger to them as well as herself.

My SD went from cutting to burning herself. Then it progressed to suicidal ideation with half-ass plans to kill herself. At 18 she was definitively diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Some do this to fit in; others do it for attention; still others do it as a release for internalized pain. We think my SD was trying to get her mother's attention as BM abandoned her. Didn't work.

justmakingthebest's picture

I agree that your kids should be left out of it. Your husband should get involved fast. He should be talking to her counselors. He should visit her. He should act like her father. 

Curious Georgetta's picture

when the problems become severe . The solution for the caring parent is to say 'you have no home here, because your young siblings MAY become aware that you have problems. "

Can you just imagine how children thrive and flourish in that kind of caring and supportive  environment? "

I hope that  OP's husband cares enough about the well being of his child to say "that my home can and will be her home if tha medical professionals deem that to be in her best interest." 

 No child was ever harmed by being told that an older or younger sibling is ill.  Many children however are damaged by parental abandonment in time of need.

There is no evidence that this child poses any danger to her siblings. Her behavior to date has been self destructive.

Your husband owes this chi!d more than he can ever repay. His inability to make the best youthful decision makes it all the more compelling that he now,as an adult, make the best possible decision for this child.

You may be a mother of 2 , but he is the father of 3.

beebeel's picture

If you've never been a child with a severely mentally ill sibling, kindly stfu about this "no child has ever been harmed" BS. I can tell you in no uncertainty my little brother and I suffered for YEARS while my parents tried to get my older brother to stop spiraling out of control. Once again, you have no idea what you are talking about.

Just confused's picture

I’m not sure about your home, but our home isn’t a dictatorship. We make the best decisions as husband & wife for our children. Having a mentally unstable teen in the home isn’t good when we don’t know what she’s capable of...especially a child no one knows, doesn’t seem worth the risk to me. 

As for my DH, if you think he didn’t make the best decision for her when she was born when he was 14, you lack any kind of intelligence. I’m not sure where you are from, but here a 14 year old can’t have a full-time job. So how was he supposed to take care of her? The majority of her life was great until she hit 12, so I feel like he made the choice out of love. Someone who could take care of her the way she needed to be. 

ESMOD's picture

doesn’t seem worth the risk to me.

This is the root of this girl's problems.. no one thinks she is worth anything.. including herself.

She doesn't feel wanted.. it's easier for her to act out and act like she doesn't care.. but she is still a kid who had parents who were horrible for her.. she is still being told she is not worth the trouble.. Your DH was young... but he failed her as a father to date.. it's not too late.. but someone has to think this girl is worth saving as a human being.

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

Nope. He’s maybe the biological father (with that wh*re some other dumb guy might be.) She trapped a young and stupid man-child and her mother raised the child.

He may biologically be father of three but definitely the real DAD of two.

Iamwoman's picture

I found time and time again, when teenagers say “I don’t know” in response to a request to explain their behavioral choices, they DO know and just aren’t willing to tell you because the answer has something to do with manipulating you or others around them.

ESMOD's picture

I 100% disagree with this.  When they say "I don't know" it can be for a myriad of reasons.

1.  They are embarassed by their actions but are unable to control compulsions.

2.  They don't feel comfortable opening up to someone that they don't trust.

3.  They are afraid of the answer they may get if they tell the truth.

4.  They actually can't verbalize it because they don't understand their actions really.

5.  They don't want to take responsibility for their actions.

6.  They feel that no one cares anyway.. so why bother.

Perhaps the girl is just manipulative.. but perhaps she has a valid reason to be a little messed up due to the way she has been raised and her start in life and the actions of adults to date?

still learning's picture

Sheltering your kids and pretending this isn't happening will only set them up for destructive behavior in the future. They should know and be educated about what their (half/step?) sibling is doing.  It's very likely that they'll see friends doing this in the future or may do it themselves.unfortunately cutting is common among teens, boys and girls.  It's better to be educated than freaked out and isolated.  This also helps your children know they can come and talk to you rather than being secretive about behaviors.  

still learning's picture

Even so she's family and will be in their lives, even if on the fringe of it at some level.  Hiding mental health issues and not talking about them only backfires for all involved.  It's the same with sexual abuse, "Let's just ignore it and pretend it didn't happen."  Kids are smart and will figure out what's going on or create some version of their own. Better to tell them the truth now

I've lived this hell with my own DD while raising her younger siblings.  Not talking about what was going on with their older sister just wasn't an option.  

beebeel's picture

I don't see anyone advocating that this gets swept under the rug. The OP is rightly concerned about this troubled girl suddenly coming to live with her young children. Talking about it with her kids is far from making them LIVE with it 24/7.

still learning's picture

"I shouldn’t have to explain to my 8 & 10 year olds this kind of I’m not going to."

OP's words.  If she doesn't want to talk about it with her kids that is her right. The reality is that mental health problems are  common and they don't go away by being ignored. The 10 yr old is a budding preteen and will be exposed to all sorts of issues soon enough if they already havent been. I don't recall advocating for SD to live with op 24/7.  

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

My half sister has some “issues.” My kids don’t even know she exists. I’m no contact with her and they’ve never met.


ESMOD's picture

I sympathize with your situation, I really do.  You got together with your DH when you were also very young and couldn't have possibly understood the full ramifications of the fact that he had a child already.  I know.. Grandma was supposed to have that problem "taken care of".. he would basically not have any responsibility for the girl until he was 18... so.. he would just basically get to say.. Hi I was your sperm donor.. idiot kid.. hope you had a nice child hood.. nice to meet you bye.  No muss, no fuss, no messy involvement, no responsibilities.  So you and he move forward.. have your own family... just ignoring the fact that he had another child.. who he had no responsibility for anyway.  But, I guess parental rights were not terminated and in fact it was just "grandma had custody".

So, grandma naturally allowed her daughter to be in the girl's life.  Now, sounds like mom is not that great of a person... and when BM looked over and saw that your DH actually had made a little something of himself, she saw an opportunity.  She figured that she could get the girl to hit your DH up for things.  I'm quite sure that's where the whole Iphone issue came about.  BM put it all in her head that her dad could provide her things that she wanted.  And.. let's face it 99% of teens are looking to their parents to provide them with stuff they want.. and aren't even particuclarly cognizant of the cost of things.  They feel they are entitled to be taken care of.. for what it's worth.

So, why is this teen a mess?  Grandma was likely the stellar parent that raised her first daughter to not be responsible and get pregnant as a teen/preteen.  Both of the girl's parents were pretty absentee during her formative years.. I'm guessing her mother flitted in and out and her father was just relieved to not be saddled with the responsibility.. he had quickly moved on to a new girlfriend and was living his life.. with no responsibility for his first child.  the girl is told she is not wanted.. a mistake.  When she does meet her dad, she finds that he has moved on and created a new family.. and to her knowledge made no attempt to be there for her.  She was abandoned by both her parents... her dad's new wife doesn't want her around.  Grandma doesn't want to deal with the mess she ended up raising.. BM is not a good person. 

gee... no wonder, the girl has so many problems.

So, what you want to happen is to have her dad reject her until she "fixes herself".  HOnestly, that is kind of wrong for him to do this.  He was young, but this is his child... he needs to step up and be there for her.  There are ways he can be her father and still protect your children... even if the girls are "exposed" to their older sister.. it is not necessarily going to be harmful as long as you are supervising everyone properly.  Now, is it the right time for the girl to move in?  Well.. it seems that your DH needs to work with his Exes mother to see whether that living arrangement is workable.. what type of visitation at your home is reasonable.. and you should be supporting him and his daughter to the extent you can.

Yes.. on the face of it... what she is doing is for attention.. but not in the spoiled brat way.. (though that may be the surface of it) but in the truly injured and damaged little girl way... this girl needs all the support and help she can get to overcome her difficult start in life.


beebeel's picture

While it may feel good to judge what a 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 year old kid should have done way back when, it's neither productive nor helpful for this woman and her valid concerns for her children today. By the time this guy was a real live adult, the girl was already 4/5 years old living with the only family she knew. 

The baby SHOULD HAVE been placed for adoption, but that wasn't his choice to make. And saying that should have happened doesn't help anyone today, either.

Mistakes were made. Plenty of blame to be thrown around. Yes, the girl isn't at fault, but OP's children aren't to blame, either. They are completely innocent and expecting a mother to allow her children's lives to be turned upside down to save a child she doesn't even know is expecting rather much.

And if you don't think a troubled kid would quite likely reek nonstop havoc in their home, you haven't spent much time with troubled kids.

ESMOD's picture

I'm not judging what the young kids did.. I am pointing out that they aren't kids NOW and they need to deal with the very adult consequences of their youthful actions.  I'm not saying the answer is to have the girl live with them.  I'm saying that the girl's father should do what he can to support his daughter.. because she is his child.. and despite the fact that decisions were probably not made well by other people.. (his ex gf.. her mom.. his family.. him).. the situation is what it is.  This is a living, breathing young teen that needs help and direction in life and needs to feel like she is worth saving.  Does that mean that OP has to turn her own life upside down?  Maybe not... but her husband certainly needs to step up.  Maybe that means he needs to move out and set up a home where he can support his daughter?  Maybe grandma needs more help in raising this girl?    I don't know what the easy answer is.. but I also know that it isn't fair for OP to hamstring her husband from serving his responsibilities to his other child too. 

It's got to be really hard on that girl.. she didn't ask for any of this either.. she didn't ask to be born to parents who didn't want her/couldn't raise her.  She didn't ask to be told she was a mistake and unwanted.  He may not have been in a position to do much when he was 14.. but he is now.. so he needs to step it up.  It is up to HIM to figure out how to do this while still protecting and keeping his other kids safe.

justmakingthebest's picture

Could not agree more. This isn't OP's fight. This is her husbands mess. Her only job is to support him in helping his daughter. That doesn't mean she needs to move in with them or even have SD around the other kids. It may mean that he start having regular visitation with her outside of the home though, unitl she gets better. He didn't ask to be a father at 14 anymore than my husband did at 18. Mistakes are made by stupid teeenagers. My DH maned up and raised his kid. Always had full custody. Op's DH hid, like a kid... well because he was one and someone offered to make the mistake go away. 

The child is here, she is real, she is crying for help. She needs her father to act like a father. He needs to step up. 

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Even “cries for attention” need to be taken seriously. I work in mental health and I’ve lost patients because their “cries for attention” went ignored. Consider this, How messed up are things if this is what she feels she has to do to get her needs met?

I do wonder what role her father plays in this. The fact that she pretty much doesn’t exist in your home? That can’t be helping the situation. The fact that she basically grew up without a father? She gets in contact and basically she’s told “You’re too screwed up, I don’t want you.”

“As awful as it sounds” maybe she won’t be his child long. You and you’re happy family can keep pretending she never existed as her father basically did.

This child was dealt a sh*ty hand. She was born to young parents. One completely forgot about her while the one she was in contact with is clearly unstable. Grandma was able to raise her because hey money is more important than knowing her real parents.

She comes around and of course she want’s expensive gifts. I’m sure Grand mommy big bucks bought her everything under the sun to make up for the guilt she felt and the things she couldn’t give her. You know, a real father. Well when she stopped coming that’s fine because hey she wasn’t really his kid after all.

Then she comes back again wanting her dad and like I said is told no.

I’m not saying moving the child in and sing Kumbaya but dad needs to decide if he’s going to step up and be a father or not. You need to decide if you’re going to support him or not. Either cut all contact like it seems you want to or be real family and actually care about her. Your dear hubby is just as much a part of what’s wrong with her as everything else.

Delete this if you don't like it but personally I wouldn't be with a man who didn't care enough to be apart of his childs life.

Just confused's picture

The teens dad never once said he didn’t want her, nor have I said that to her. She does not know my feelings on this because she doesn’t need to know. They are my thoughts and I share them with my husband. He told her 2 years ago that anytime she needed to talk or anything to pick up the phone and call because she’s got her own life and his work schedule. She got in contact with him 2 times in the first year and just 2 weeks ago got in contact again. 

Move known plenty of wonderful people that grew up without one of their parents and didn’t have any issues. 

All I am saying, since she is a stranger to my children, the visits to the home need to be after she gets help. Which her father will be a part of. He’s not dodging her calls, or ignoring her in any way. 

He wants to be there for her, so put him down all you want but he is an amazing man & father. You’re putting a 14 year old down for the choice he made, to let her stay with someone who could afford food, diapers & clothes? Or she he have brought a baby around all the drugs that his parents had around? 

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

No I’m putting down a full grown man for not stepping up and being a parent. Expecting a CHILD to do all the work to form a connection is idiotic.

He should have done something 2 years ago to actually be a part of her life instead of being butt hurt that an 11 year old wanted expensive toys. He let her just walk in and walk right back out without making a real effort because OMG she asked for an IPAD. I’m guessing really it was just too hard to actually try and his wonderful wife (YOU) didn’t want the girl anyways. “I wish she wasn’t his child”. The girl was 11. Again 11. Can I scream that any louder? And her FATHER expected her to act like an adult.

Then this summer he finds out just how wonderful things are going for the kid and how amazing BM is and what did he do? What did he actually do to help her other than tell her to call?

Again this is a kid. HIS kid. She’s not even a teen. You know almost NOTHING about her except for the bad stuff and your writing off her selfharm as a cry for attention. Damn right she wants attention. The adults in her life are crap and no one is actually doing anything. Well maybe grandma but apparently she’s wrong for taking the kid to a hospital to try and get her help? And it seems like your criticizing her because clearly this is all “a cry for attention” which means what?

My point is of course you only care about your kids in this case. You’ve made it clear you think she’s nothing to you and that’s fine. You didn’t go into this thinking she’d come live with you. As you said you “wouldn’t have started this relationship”. Well here it is what are you going to do?

More important what’s daddy going to do. Is he going to actually be a parent and try to help because telling her she’s not allowed around until she straightens up is clearly the magic pill that’s going to fix her. Daddy is having to play middle man between you and her. You’re scared he’ll tell you to get over yourself because HIS CHILD needs him. A 12 year old girl needs her daddy to man up and actally be a parent to her while his wife is basically making it clear as day that she’d prefer he have nothing to do with the kid all because he made a mistake when he was 14 and heaven forbid he have to make up for that mistake as an adult.

beebeel's picture

You are assuming many things that I haven't been able to find in OP's two, short blogs, and just plain wrong on some facts (the girl is nearly 13 and SHE stopped calling when dad didn't buy her an iPhone).

As an unmarried minor at the time of her birth, this man has zero rights to this girl. None. That is a fact. He can't swoop in and fix anything because he does not have the rights to take her to doctors, enroll her in school or take her down the street. Anything he is able to do for her will be at the whims of an addict BM and her mother, whose instability has turned out not one but two troubled girls. 

I'm not sure what kind of fantasy hero you expect him to play, but reality is much different.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Did you know an 11 year old is a minor? Did you know a stb 13 year old is still a minor? You know why minors aren’t adults?

Because they don’t the cognitive abilities of adults. You can’t expect them to behave like adults, to think like adults.

At 11 this girl made contact with her father who then told a CHILD to call him. OP doesn’t share how dad tried to call and was prevented but she’s quick to say they gave up on the kid because the child asked for things. Bad bad kid.

That’s all OP sees here. She sees a bad kid who she doesn’t want anywhere near her prefect children because heaven forbid they find out life isn’t rainbows and sunshine. She has made it clear this child isn’t to be anywhere near her and her family until she’s fixed completely excusing dad for his role in breaking the girl.

Jumped all over me over because she felt I was blaming a 14 year old for his actions but this girl is even younger and being blamed. She’s being condemned because she’s sick enough that she thought it was a good idea to take a blade to her own skin.

Nope that’s just a “cry for attention”. As I said it is and it’s pretty loud. Dad can’t pussyfoot around anymore or his child is going to die. Kids DIE because of these “cries for attention.” This woman has no empathy for her partner’s kid. She only cares about hers. I guess that’s fine. I mean the kids not hers so it’s not her job to do anything but it is her partners and as I said. I wouldn’t be with a man who just forgot he had a child for 11 years but I guess we excuse men for it every day. She’s quick to talk about how horrible BM was but completely ignores what not having BD in the girls life played into this.

Let’s remember that a few days back OP came here talking about how the child wasn’t allowed in her home until she was fixed. The girl was told that in some way shape or form. A 12 year old child was told by her father you can’t come here at all because you’re messed up. Now that girl cuts herself and OP doubles down. I guess it shows how right she was in the first place but we’ll never know. Maybe one sleep over would have been enough to make a difference but an 11 year old child dared to ask for an IPAD.

beebeel's picture

??? Now I don't think we are reading the same blogs. OP hasn't said any of these things, and certainly not to the kid.

Just confused's picture

I’m curious as to when I said in my posts that either of us told the child that she wasn’t welcome at our home? I told my DH but he knows to do things with her outside of the home. Like do you have daddy issues you need to work on?

Just confused's picture

You sound a little angry ? 

The reason for him telling her to contact him is because all of the extracurricular activities she had going on, she never answered. He wasn’t going to force a relationship that seemed she didn’t want. With his job he was gone 2-3 weeks, home for 2 days and gone again. But he would always answer whenever she’d call. 

Of course I’d love to be the only person he has children to, who wouldn’t?

As for finding out how bad it was, we didn’t know until 2 weeks ago. Their numbers always changed. I tried to reach out about 10 months ago through social media with no reply. 

And as for my DH, he’s going to be there for her. I’m not making him pick? I’m not afraid of what he’ll say, we are adults, we discuss & resolve. He understands my feelings and why I feel them. 

He’ll be there for her, just outside of our family’s home. Why? Because my kids live here and we don’t know what harm she could potentially cause, she is a stranger. Just like any other stranger, you don’t just bring them into your home, family or not. She is still someone we don’t know much about. If you’d be willing to bring  a stranger into your home with your children, without know the extent of their mental illness, that’s your issue and I’d hope nothing bad came from your decision. As for my family, the two little beings I created, they matter more than anything. if someone or something could cause them any harm, of course I’m not going to welcome danger with open arms 

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

You're last post identifies contact with the child’s mother over the summer. Kind of implies you knew something was going on or at least would have if dad had questioned anything.

Dad basically had all the warnings that stuff was going on and basically sat back. Now you're putting down a child for what you call a cry for attention. You're excusing your partner and ignoring he had multiple chances to actually have a meaningful rule in the child’s life. You're making excuses.

I believe this child felt rejected by her father when she recently got in touch again. That she felt like she didn’t fit anywhere and certainly not into his prefect little family. That a 12 year old child has been expected to act and think like an adult for years now and because she didn’t everything is her fault now.

I find it very interesting that 5 days ago you joined. You’re first post is about how horrible she is and how much you don’t want her around. Now a few days after that, she’s suddenly in care and you’re belittling it as a cry for attention. You don’t seem to understand how everything connects and you certainly don’t want any fault on your partner.

What was she told when she got back in contact? If she wasn't rejected then what did he do?

Just confused's picture

She wasn’t rejected, he just hasn’t told her because the grandmother wants the visits to happen at her place. And yes she’s a 12 year old who has had sex, cuts and gets in trouble in school for bad behavior multiple times a week, skipping & fighting. We only know about this passed summer because the grandmother told us 2 weeks ago  


beebeel's picture

I have a 2.5 year old and a very troubled SDstb17. If my husband wanted to try, once again, to fix her and their relationship, I would and do encourage that: far, far from our son. You bet I would "shelter" my child from her never ending shitstorm of drama. That's my job as his parent. I also keep him far, far from my mentally ill brother who refuses treatment. It's just safer for my child.

Just confused's picture

Thank you! People just seem to want to knock the fact that he wasn’t in her life for the majority, when he wasn’t doing it because he didn’t want her..he was doing what he thought was right. Up until a few years ago as far as we knew her life was perfect. 

Thumper's picture

Sorry to read about your husbands daughter. Curious why Grandma has critical involvement here. .  Bio mom and Bio dad should be the ones dealing with this not a Grandparent. The kids need Grannys to visit but other than that....minor kids need their parents.

Your husband should check with his health insurance to see about in treatment therapy on a long term option.

Parents have to learn to accept 'somethings are bigger than they are"....THIS Is huge and the answer isnt bringing her home after her hold... ... of course that is the goal but not until she is treated by professionals 24/7 for at a min 30days. Should be longer since this is not her first 'go around'.

I am soooooooooo sorry about everything. Cant say I dont blame you for not dragging your younger kids into this. After you find out the treatment plan during the next 30days you may decide to move out.






justmakingthebest's picture

Grandma has always had custody... bios were 14 when baby was born. Recently SD has had an interest getting to know her biodad.

hereiam's picture

Essentially, bio parents gave SD up for adoption. Yes, it was to BM's mom but still.....Grandma has always had full custody and OP's husband had no contact with the child until recently.

To expect OP's husband to step in and take full responsibility for this child now, is quite impractical. They barely know each other, don't have a father/daughter relationship, and it seems that the girl just wants to see what she can get from him (after reading OP's first post).

He can try to be there for her emotionally (which is all Grandma wants, apparently) and try to build a bond/relationship but that doesn't have to mean the girl moving in. The girl has a home and that is Grandma's.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

OP's husband had contact and visits with the child 2 years ago but an 11 year old child deared to ask for an ipad / whatever. So instead of doing anything else dad told the kid to call him and that was it until this past summer. Dad had a chance to be there emotional and attempt to build a bond but left it up to a minor child and now OP wants to condemn that child for cutting themself as a "cry for attention".

Just confused's picture

Dontfeedthetrolls : this really has you feeling some type of way? You are so stuck on her not getting spoiled by him after knowing him a few days? 

we would never tell her she’s not welcome here, but her dad knows to keep her away until they get her better (dad included) 

Her BD told her to call anytime day or night 2 years ago...she visits and only called for something expensive. When she didn’t get it, she made the choice to stop contact. She would never respond to any texts or anything. Then we find out she had a new number. He’s only going to press for a relationship if she wants it. He’s there emotionally & if the grandmother asks for anything or needs help with anything he’ll do his best. But for you to get butthurt over the fact that I don’t want her around my children just yet or the fact that we didn’t buy her something expensive just because she asked is ridiculous. You sound like you have a lot more issues to work out than me or my SD. Good luck on treatment Smile

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

"we would never tell her she's not welcome here, but her dad knows to keep her away until they get her better"

Read that again and tell me what that means? I'm really confused because honestly that is a mixes message. How do you keep her away and not tell her she's not welcome?

Again this child cut herself and it's down played as a cry for attention. That's my issue. Again I’ve lost clients because this sort of stuff was just ignored because others felt it was a cry for attention. That REALLY bothers me. That’s what has me so upset.

Again this child cut herself and it's down played as a cry for attention. That's my issue.

Just confused's picture

Why would we look at her and tell her she’s not welcome around her siblings? She doesn’t need to know that since his is all new. 

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

You’re ignoring the question.

She called him as you reported in your last post. What did he say?

You keep saying no one’s told her she’s not welcome around but her dad knows to keep her away.

So how does he do that without her knowing she’s not welcome? How do you tell a child she can’t see her siblings, isn’t allowed at the house, WHATEVER and her not know she’s not wanted?  

She made contact about a week ago maybe and then cuts herself? It’s connected.

Just confused's picture

She called, he went straight to her house and talked to her. I’m not ignoring anything. You’re were just dwelling on the fact that we didn’t buy her an iPhone just because she asked. 

She hasn’t asked to see her siblings but if she does and she’s still not well, she will be told that it will take some time. Her dad is going to see her, why does she have to come to our home? 

As for the cutting, that stuff started during the summer. So no, it’s not connected. 

Livingoutloud's picture

When people come on here to share their painful feelings, it’s very unsupportive to chastise them. If people feel extremely angry about something that others post it’s usually due to them having issues in their own life and instead of working on those, attacking others. It’s uncalled for. 

Just confused, did DH sit down with grandma and discussed what exact mental health help is the best. What doesbSD’s pediatrician say? I’d start talking to her doctor and line up proper help for her. As long as grandma and DH are on the same page hopefully they can help SD to get better 

Just confused's picture

Yes he sat down with her. She is going to be evaluated. The grandmother and pediatrician and therapist are talking about getting her on an antidepressant. 

Livingoutloud's picture

Good! So hopefully she gets better. It must be stressful for everyone involved: you, dad, other kids, SD. With proper help things could improve