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Midlife Crisis

Hanny's picture

Has anyone had a SO who has gone through a midlife crisis. I believe my SO is having a midlife crisis. I never dreamed he could hurt me so badly.

Indigo's picture

Ex-DH's choices and actions imploded our marriage and life when he was in his early 40's. My oldest brother lost his brain for awhile when he was in his late 40's/early 50's. I have a girlfriend who had a life-changing period a few years ago where she ditched her DH of 20+ years to chase romantic love on Match.com, etc.

Indigo's picture

Add the "crotch-rocket" motorcycle to the list.

Or the Russian mistress to whom your DH gives your clothing and earrings? No, wait ... that was my Life.

On a serious note, I'm sorry that you're hurting.

Rags's picture

I married my mid life crisis 20 years ago. Our agreement was that she buys me the sports car, boat, airplane, etc................ I still have the mid life chrisis trophy bride but am still waiting on delivery of the items on the list. I just keep adding to the list and she just keeps inspiring me.

Some day I will get the items on the list and will still have the trophy bride. I highly recommend marrying your mid life crisis early in the mid life years.

At least that is the plan I have been going with for 20+ years.

My XW on the other hand is living a hell life brought on by her own adulterous lack of character decisions. The last time I saw her about 10yrs ago she was looking like she had been ridden hard and put up wet. Her husband (#3) and her three out of wedlock spawn by two sperm donors looked just as miserable as she did. Since then she has been nailed with federal fraud charges that were ultimately dropped but is sitting on about $2mil in settlement liabilities from the guy her family embezzled money from for a number of decades.

Hanny's picture

I was a midlife crisis wife myself, married for 23 years to the midlifer. Now my SO has hooked up with a woman who lived in his neighborhood when he was growing up on FB. We have been together for 10 years and now he tells me 'I love you, but I'm not in love with you'. Do you know what the urban dictionary says about "I love you, but I'm not in love with you", translation: I'm already fu*&^%$ someone else or I want to start fu*&^%$ someone else.

Indigo's picture

Verbatim my ex-DH.

I offered to get breast implants, sell my horses, move into town, go back to being a stockbroker, because, well, because I was shocked, devastated and desperate. One of the hardest things for me was handling the lack of closure. To this day, he has never told me what was wrong ... what I did wrong since we were great friends and rarely fought.

See my error in perception ? I thought that it was because of "Me" when really it was because of "Him."

I am sorry that you've been going through this. Do you have a good support group IRL ?

Hanny's picture

Thanks for all your comments and advice. I've been living this since early November....and 'the icing on the cake' so to speak was on XMAS eve. It's been a tough couple of months.