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The things "my wifes" EX does when I am not around...

Jon-Boy's picture

So the EX drops off his BS8 to my wife tonight. I am out with my bio son at practice.
And he gets ticked off at my wife tonight because last night, when he dropped off son, I answered the door and greeted him and his son (My now ss)and said, "Hey how's it going." to the EX, he just grunts and kisses his son goodbye. I say, See you later... And he mumbles something as he walks away.

So tonight he gets pissed off and tells my wife that she has to come to the door when he drops off the son.
They start arguing and he causes a scene. This all happens in front of my older son who is getting dropped off by his girlfriend and mom. He then leaves and screeches the tires as he drives away. I get the feeling he thought it was me getting home and that is why he left.
As soon as my wife told me, I called him on his cell. It went strait to voice mail.

So I am pretty damn sure he can't make her come to the door. But I wanted to know if anyone on here knows the legal standpoint of this?

I am thinking he can "ask" if she is home, because he is not required to drop off his son to me. (But when her car is in the driveway isn't it clear she is home?)
And at that point I will say, "Yes she is home." I am thinking of just saying, "She is real busy hold on a sec." Which in return he will ask to talk to her. And then I will yell out, "Honey! our son is here, will you call out to him? And then she can shout out his name to come in.
And that should be OK to do, I am thinking... Any legal thoughts on this?

If he persist to keep being an ass I am going to tell him to never set foot on my property again.
And he can pick him up and drop him off at the curb.

I will see the Dick Head when the boys get out of school tomorrow. It is his day again.
So when I am picking up my BS and he is picking up his BS I will be sure to say. "I'll see you tonight Phil".(that's the EX's name) As we are both walking away with our sons.

please let me know your thoughts and any legal advise.


Conflicted's picture

I don't think there inything "legally" he could do unless their parenting plan specifically states the exchanges must occur between bio parents only... If it doesn't specifically say that third parties cannot exchange the child then I think you're fine... ESPECIALLY because he's dropping off at your house. I can't imagine he would be taken seriously if he were to show up in a courtroom and complain to a judge about you answering your own freaking door... Clearly homeboy is jealous and intimitated by you.

MollyBee's picture

My FH's court order says that the BIO parent themselves has to be the one providing the ride for SD, but it says nothing about who the child can be dropped off to. The BM I deal with tells me that myself and my bio daughter are not "allowed" to be in car with FH when he picks up SD. Keep in mind, however, that BM does not even have a driveway because she lives in an apartment, so FH has to park on the side of the road to pick up SD. Our attorney has already told us that by her saying that it proves her unwillingness to cooperate with ME, which is pretty damning. Especially since she has no reason whatsoever to dislike me. Except for the fact that I have the man she wants and cannot have. Tell you what though, her jealousy sure makes me LOVE myself!!!
I agree with everyone else who has said to check her court papers, just to be sure, but I have never heard of the BM's significant other NOT being allowed to welcome the child home. It's YOUR door too. You should be able to answer it.

~Haters are going to Hate. It's their Job!!~ Katt Williams

Jon-Boy's picture

I don't know everything it says in their divorce decree. (Not yet)
I know it does say that they each get 1st right of refusal if one of them needs a babysitter.
I need to get this clarified, it has cause some inconveniences that I think should never happen.

I don't get this guy.
He thrives on being this way.
A prick to the end. Only he matters. Which is a shame.
These acts of bad behaviours are always done in front of his son. So the son learns it is ok to act like an ass with no recourse of action. The boy shows lack of patience with many things, he will yell at his mom with whatever he is frustrated with. I am always trying to enforce patience and courtesy with him. (I guess this is my control issue here.) I knew that if this guy never gets on board with the co-parenting we will always be fighting the sons behaviours. I was ok with that, I knew it would be easy or hard. I knew that in time his own son would see his dad as the ass he is. I guess I figured who in thier right mind would not be willing to coparent with willing parents?

Gatta git to werk!

Wish I could vent more!

onehappygirl's picture

I will no longer talk to my Ex in person. To be honest, he still intimidates me even though I can look at him and all I see is a complete loser. So, when he comes to pick up or drop off the kids, it's my DH who is standing at the door. I'm a big chicken and will usually make sure I'm out of sight when he comes around. ______________________________________

Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!

imagr8tma's picture

he feels he should be. Unless the court order states different - you and your wife continue to do what works for your household.

I bet he would not cause a scene if it were you at the door.... Screw him - let him walk around with that anger in his heart.

I experience the same things every time i ride with my husband or attend my SD's events....

BM and her mother hate my guts - and have made it know - and have filed alleged abuse charges against me (court case coming up) and i still attend my SD's events. I am not there for BM's benefit. So i ignore her. I used to speak - but now i just kinda of nod and put my attention on my sd - afterall that is who i am concerned with and who i love.

Screw other parents who still hold on to grudges for no apparant reason...... Let them keep that anger bottled up.

********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************

ALongRoadAhead's picture

I was at home when the BM came to pick up my SD and after she "left" (I thought she had), I walked out to my car with my neices (ages 10, 11, & 12) and we got in my car so I could take them home. My fiancee wasn't home yet, and apparently it pissed her off so bad that I was the only one home that she came out from her car (which was still parked in front of my house) and punched my windows, tried to open my driver side door, yelling at me telling me to get out of the car so she could beat me up and how the next time she saw me she was going to hurt me...and thats the nice version, there were lots of expletives used! LOL. I thought she was crazy but the thing that made me mad was that I had our neices in the car with me and they were scared, and she did all of this in front of my SD2 !!! Can you believe it??? And she put a restraining order on ME saying I'm "violent." ????? WOW! Needless to say, that RO wasn't granted....

Jon-Boy's picture

This is how it should be in my eyes.
(If he was a civil and sane person)

Door bell rings, Who ever gets the door it doesn't matter, Lets just say it's me answering the door.
I say hey guys hows it going? come on in. Now I am walking inside to the living room while Ex Husband and Son are making their way in. We all sit down and have small talk. My wife is there waiting for her son. I imagine us discussing things like school, and homework, any sports the boys may be in. Maybe a little recap of the time the Dad and son just had together, Maybe the Dad would say something like, Did you know (Son) does not like noodles? or any pasta? and we would talk about how we handle eating habits, and discuss what is working and not working.
Or maybe talk about how well son is doing or not doing with homework.
I know and believe in my heart this is not a pipe dream.
Shouldn't we parents have one common goal. To be loving parents!

I know I probably have said this before, but this is my last attempt with this guy.
I will talk with him man to man. And then that is it. After 3 years with random acts of Bull Shit from this guy, I will stop trying to make peace.
After tonight it is completely in his court.

And then my actions will reflect his choices.
It can be like the above story, or not. My parenting and being a step father to SS will always be from my heart and in his best interests.
What the SS has already been exposed to because of his Dad's messed up thinking, I can only try and counter act with better parenting techniques.
That is all I can do.
Keep a good environment and watch them flourish!

Jon-Boy's picture

Long story short, modern man tries to talk to neanderthal.
This went as expected.
Hey "I tried!" to keep the peace.
Oh well.

Last final words were this to him.

"Here are the new rules! Stay off my property and you can drop the son off at the curb!"
This used to be his house. So I know that stung.
The longer more detailed version of this is on my wifes post. (What to do with crazy EH/BF)