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Super fun weekend...yeah right!

jojo68's picture

DH was off this weekend which doesn't happen a lot with his job. Friday night we went to a sporting event...SD11 and her little posse of 2 friends were there running wild, not sitting down for more than 10 mintues at a time and spent $40 and still wanted more.

They both spent the night along with SD11's sister who stayed the weekend with us as BM was out of town. SD11 and one the other girls (but SD mostly) laughed, screamed, and yelled until wee hours of the morning right in the next room (living room/kitchen) to our bedroom because she refused to sleep in her own room and made a big mess in the kitchen which DH kinda half ass cleaned up and left the rest thinking I would do it when I got home from work on Saturday but I was so mad that he didn't make those bloody girls clean up after themselves (after he repeatedly told them to clean up they mess) that I didn't clean anything...dishes piled up, huge mess of clutter, spilled stuff on the floor, and OUR bathroom a wreck.

SD11's sister asked me to cut her hair that afternoon which I don't mind doing at all. As I am working on the haircut, SD11 kept saying how her sister's hair was not even and that it didn't look any different than before (mind you I cut at leat 6 inches off). Not sure if SD11 was jealous of her sister getting attention or just being the mean hateful little animal that she is but she 'asks' me while I am right in the middle of cutting her sister's hair in a rude tone "uh don't you need to be making dinner???" Are you F***ing serious! DH wasn't in the room to hear her but it probably wouldn't have mattered anyway, he is so afraid of making her mad so he wouldn't have said anything. Hell he doesn't even get upset when that hateful little kid of his blatenly disrespects and tells him NO when he tells her to do something. SD asked me if I liked it when all these people were there...what a strange question to ask huh? I wonder if she wants to have this constant chaos just because she knows how uncomfortable it makes me in my own home.

I really don't like the all weekend slumber parties with these loud abnoxious little "forever 5 year olds" hasn't happened in a while so I didn't say anything but everything has to be over the top. One of the girls stayed till late Sunday. These kids won't eat what is made at regular mealtime and expect an all day buffet of junk food. I have a grown daughter and stepdaughter and I actually enjoyed having their friends over when they were that age...they were fun to be around, didn't take over the whole house and didn't expect me to be the maid. I don't know maybe as I have gotten older, my patience has worn thin or maybe these girls are way over the top.

If any of you have a BD or SD this age, let me know if all this normal or these kids are just annoying and obnoxious more than usual. It has been a while since my daughter or SD has been 11-12) I would really like to know!


Kes's picture

I think when my bios were this age (15 years ago!) they were probably quite obnoxious, but I was younger, had more tolerance and more stamina and didn't mind losing one night's sleep if they were having a great time.
When my SDs have had sleepovers, I just have run out of patience. The worst was at New Year, my mum was dying in the nursing home, so I had asked them to please be considerate and not make too much noise as I was stressed already. One of them smuggled in booze and my SD who was then 13 puked all over my living room. After that, no more sleepovers. They are allowed, under exceptional circumstances, to have a friend sleep over, but only if they have been out somewhere and the friend can't get home. Other than that, sleepovers are at BM's house ONLY.

mama_althea's picture

My daughter is 15. If I'm remembering correctly, at that age they could get loud and messy and were probably half-assed when they cleaned up...BUT they didn't give me any crappy attitude. Sure, in private my daughter sassed me at times, but not in a "uh don't you need to be making dinner?" kind of way. Normal emotional pre-teenager kind of stuff. And when her friends were sleeping over I'd have to go in and quiet them down a couple times, but only because it was getting late, not because they were out-of-hand obnoxious. Sounds like what happened at your house was over the top.

dragonfly5's picture

Are you kidding me... If my fsd11 said shouldn't you be making dinner to me I would have told her I will decide when it is time to make dinner and for her not to worry about it.

FSD11 just had a slumber party at my house Friday...It was a blast...none of this crap you had. They picked up after themselves, relative to what a 11 yr old can do.
She and her friends thanked me many times for having them over.

My house looked like a slumber party had been in it. But it was not trashed. SO and FSD11 helped pick up when everyone was gone and then I cleaned the floors. Foot prints everywhere of course from running in and out on the scooters and trampoline.

Your step daughter is definitely jealous of your bd. Probably normal, but the rest is not. Your DH needs to get on it with her. Not picking up after herself and her friends is not acceptable. Also good manners are a must.

jojo68's picture

Thanks for the insight girls...I get so frustrated with kids running through the house yelling, stomping, screaming. It just drives me insane. I expect this behavior out of 5 year olds not 11-12 year old kids. I expect slumber parties to be like my BD and OSD which were girls doing makeovers...talking about boys...playing on their games or the computer and being in their room. They were messy and ate constantly but I didn't mind because I was respected and appreciated. When SD11 has friends over it is seriously like a bunch of 5 year olds playing on the playground at recess. It drives me batty!

hismineandours's picture

I have a dd14, a ds12, and a dd9-we frequently have kids in and out of the house-which honestly I'm not wild about-I really, really like my peace and quiet-however i know that having friends over is a normal desire so I tolerate it with various conditions. Whoever is having a friend over must ready the house for their guest-which of course means their room must be clean, but also the common areas of the home-kitchen, living room, bathroom, etc.

After their guest leaves-they must clean up whatever mess was made or they will be having no more guests over. Noone stays all weekend-I prefer them to leave by noon the next day-but occassionally I will be flexible. I usually purchase a pizza, soda, and chips for dinner and donuts for breakfast. I dont really enjoy cooking-much less cooking to the tastes of a gaggle of kids.

Our house is fairly big so I dont often "hear" them, but if I do I tell them to "zip it" or else.

I cant imagine any of my children expecting me to cater to them while they have guests over. They know that they are expected to be pretty independent with their guests-in other words-they are the host-not me- I will not be preparing snacks, planning fun party games, or picking up after them.

On the other hand, if someone asks nicely I will do pretty much what I can to help. I do occassionally pick up an item here or there that they've left out. I am willing to assist in cleaning the house for their guest because it is my house too. I do provide the snacks, sodas, etc. If they want to go to a ball game or such, I am willing to provide the transportation. If my kids are not good when they have a guest, they do not get to have one back for a VERY long time-they all learned that years ago and I truthfully have minimal issues now.

jojo68's picture

Honestly I am exhausted at the end of the week and I want to relax and how can you do that with wildass kids everywhere not to mention in a small house...DH only thinks of making his daughter happy and not my well being or the even his own well being. I don't mind occasional company but this girl has company of some kind at least 3 times a week every week or we are having to pick her up at someone's else's house mind you on weeknights. That is ridiculous.

Jsmom's picture

We limit to one night over the weekend. That is it...No more and they have to go home by Noon. For my son, he has to be back by Noon. If you don't set limits now on this then all it becomes about is their social lives and nothing else. Imagine when she goes off to college, she won't know how to set limits for herself if you don't teach her now.

jojo68's picture

Unfortunately I don't have any say in the way this child is raised so I can't really teach her much of anything. Her father guilt parents her because he feels he works a lot and doesn't get to spend much time with her mind you he has full custody but she knows that is all she has to say to get anything she wants is that she doesn't ever see her daddy so she plays that card quite often (one morning she wanted to go get breakfast and he couldn't take her to school because of an emergency and mind you he takes her to school almost every day and she cried to her grandmother "my daddy never spends time with me" so grandma feels sorry for her, gets her the breakfast she wants and drills it in her father's head even further that she says she never sees her daddy...just an opinion ladies, isn't this actually getting to spend quit a bit of time with dad:

Most every morning he takes her to school...buys her breakfast.
He is off every other weekend and devotes that time to her...mind you when the constant running around is over or money runs out she is out of there to a friend's or her mom's.
He picks her up from school most of the time and stops to buy her junk food at the conv store
He is home each evening with very little exception

SD11 hardly ever goes to spend time with her mother so DH pretty much has her all the time. I think he spends a lot of time with her but I could be wrong.