Finally a step situation in real life that seems similar to mine
DH and I took YDS to a class for babies and toddlers today and there was another lady there with a baby who had 2 older skids.
First thing I noticed: she referred to them as her husbands kids and not "bonus kids" or anything of that nature.
Second: she was very concerned about the differences in parenting with BM and the older kids and how she wanted to raise hers.
Although I sympathize with her, I have to admit it was nice to hear someone else in real life that doesnt put on the one big happy family act. Especially someone that seemed like a pretty nice person in general and not the "evil stepmother" stereotype I think alot of us are afraid of getting pigeonholed as if we dont act like our skids are our own.
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It's so great when you meet
It's so great when you meet someone like that!
A few weeks ago I bought something off the buy/sell/trade site, and ended up hitting it off with the woman selling it so much that we may have drinks this week! I mentioned my SO's kids, and she mentioned her DH has kids, and then she said, girl, being with someone with kids is one of the hardest situations in the world. I wanted to hug her. She went on to say how her DH used to watch her SS's play video games. And that at one point she actually bought her own house and moved out- years later they are now happily married, although skids are PAS'd out by BM. She is my soul mate! lol.
Lol nice! I wanted to say a
Lol nice! I wanted to say a little more to her about it, but since DH was with this time I didnt. Maybe at next weeks class.
I have an issue with everyone
I have an issue with everyone else around me who has step kids hates them and refuses to accept that I might not hate mine. I don’t know how many times I’ve had to explain at work that NO you can’t just call me in on a weekend because I might be watching the kids for SO. I get the “he’s their dad” yes but it’s our home, I’m off work and he’s at work. I’m not making him leave work when I’m supposed to be off. They don’t pull that crap with my coworker and his wife.
On the other hand I have a lot of bio-parents who are “single” and have the utmost respect for my family and it makes things a lot easier. I don't feel pressure from them to pretend our life is prefect but they never feel the need to remind me the kids aren't mine. Trust me I know they aren't.
I can COMPLETELY understand the worry about parenting differences. SO’s two are the only ones involved and I still worry about it.
Yeah I could see that being
Yeah I could see that being an issue. I dont currently work outside the home but I remember how annoying it was being pressured when they need people to work OT at previous jobs.
Lol. I was on a cruise last
Lol. I was on a cruise last week and we were chit-chatting with another couple, she was like, "These are my husband's kids, did you bring your kids?" and I was like, "No, this was Killjoy's week to be with her Mother." She gave me a knowing look. I grinned.
Oh, yes, there is a reason the divorce rate is so high amongst second families, you are definitely not alone.
Lol could you hear it in each
Lol could you hear it in each others tone of voice? I try to sound neutral when I mention SD but I think my actual feelings probably show through.
I found this site sbout 6
I found this site sbout 6 months into my marraige. I had no idea so many people felt the same as I do. Im almost at a year married. Ive been empowered with knowledge by the ladies on this site who are dealong with the same as I or dealt with it and are so over entitled skids.
I actually was at my wits end and Google'd I HATE MY STEPKIDS and ended up here
Google got me here.
Google got me here.
When I had enough (and realized no positive changes would ever happen) and left my step-situation my formerSO tried to make me feel like I was the only one that couldn't handle "step-life". I almost wanted to direct him to this site. Whoa, that would have been...idk, something, because I am certian he would have posted...lmao.
I did however inform him it wasn't *me* that couldn't manage step-life - it was him and his feral child that couldn't handle it, NOT me. It was not "my fault" that I would not put up with abuse directed to me and my babyBS. Neither of us should have to deal with abuse because he refused to correct his feral child.
Just curious....what did you
Just curious....what did you google?
I hate my stepson.
I hate my stepson.
I Googled...
"Stepson, teenage, stoner, marriage" or something to that effect...
... and I found StepTalk! So grateful & relieved to find my Tribe. I have a lot of friends, most long-term, but none of them could relate the way ya'll do.
Much respect to the ladies & men of StepTalk! I'm grateful for you all.
Hahaha I actually found this
Hahaha I actually found this site the same way. This was one of the few things that came up that looked useful and not preachy or "well think about it from the childs pov."
I feel like so many of us
I feel like so many of us found this site from googling "I hate my stepkid" or something of that nature haha
I haven't got to meet anyone
I haven't got to meet anyone like that yet. One or two acted like their blended family was absolutely functional with no bumps in the road. I think I just need to meet more people.I don't get out much.
Yeah I've run into that
Yeah I've run into that mostly also. Supposedly everyone loves everyone, BM is great and they all coparent peacefully etc.
Dontfeedthetrolls
No body is saying you have to hate your SK, you in fact maybe the lucky one. I didn’t hate my SK, I do love them. I hate the fact that my SO could not understand that I could not love them to the level she love them. That they always came first. That they were there 24/7/365. And I could not wake up one morning. And spend the day in bed with her.