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Improvement from SO

JBDmom's picture

I’ve talked about problems with my BF not stepping up as a parent and thus leading to many problems with SD4. Today though after many conversations about him believing lies from SD about me he actually followed through with everything he told me. First was trusting me to watch our SD with out questioning everything that happens. Second was believing me when I tell him something. The third thing was to stop undermining me as a parent and the last thing was to follow through with what he tells her when he gets her in trouble. It’s been a learning experience mostly for him but he’s been good about trying to follow through with what he said he would. Anyways today my SD like always was handing her sister DD1 her toys just to snatch them away from her. Of course I tell her the first few times she needs to stop giving DD her toys because once she hands it to her she can’t just snatch it away. She ignores me a few more times and at this point I’m getting really annoyed because all my 1 year old wants is to play with her big sister but she keeps being mean to her and she doesn’t understand why. Finally I tell her if you hand your sister one more of your toys and then snatch it away you will no longer get to play with it. That you will be your sisters for the rest of the day. I tell her this at least three times and make her repeat it just so I can be sure she knows and listened to me. Well not even 5 minutes later there she goes handing DD one of her baby dolls just to snatch away the second she had it in her hands. I make SD give the toy back and come over to me and I tell her that she doesn’t get to play with that toy for the rest of the day. She freaks out. Crying and throwing herself down. I tell her again what I’d already told her multiple times before about her snatching toys from her sister and she calms down. After a minute of sitting there though she looks up at me with a serious face and tells me I’m going to get mad at you when daddy gets home so I can have my toy back. Um what the fuck did you just tell me? Believing I’m hearing her wrong I ask her what she said and she repeats it this time with a little smirk. Hell no. So I call her dad and tell him what happened and what she said to me and he’s not as mad as I am but he doesn’t cater to it either. He gets her on the phone and tells her she can’t talk to me like that and if I tell her something she has to listen. This little girl is flabbergasted. She didn’t get her way when she cried to her daddy. I know my beef is with my BF for not being the parent he needs to be but it felt so good to actually have him on my side and not cater to his 4 year old. I can see a pinprick of light at the end of the tunnel especially if we can keep up communication and parent together as a team. I just feel like I really deserve this win regardless of how little it is.

Comments

Siemprematahari's picture

Sounds like a victory and hope it continues. You and BF talked and he decided to support and have your back and so far he's been following through. I hope this is always the case and that you both continue parenting as a team. Once SD sees that she can't lie and manipulate her way to get things she will change her tune.....Your BF has to remain consistent, ALWAYS.

 

Harry's picture

You are left to handle SS after he hangs up the phone.  He has to reinforce this when he gets home. 

JBDmom's picture

Yes I was worried about that too, but we discussed him not giving it back to her when he gets off work. We’ll see though once he gets home, but I’m fairly certain he will follow through.