A skid may have moved out
I say it that way because it’s been a month since graduation and OSS18 has been here three times. This was a weekend all the kids are to be here and DS18 has been here the whole time and YSS16.5 has been here for half (something about stuff with friends and staying at BMs). OSS18 has been MIA except that he apparently stopped in briefly to grab something while DH and I were out.
He and DS have both graduated and are off to college in a while so I’m not expecting that they have to do the exact schedule. And I probably should not be surprised that DH has no idea when OSS will be here and no idea why he isn’t here.
What I would like to do if he’s really only gonna be here infrequently is clean his room. Not clean it out, just clean it and put on fresh sheets and make it nice enough if we have an unexpected guest that we aren’t scrambling to prep a spot (which has already happened this summer). But DH tells me OSS is coming and he will have OSS clean his room. Ok.
My bet is now that I said something we see OSS four times this month but next month he won’t be here at all and DH won’t see him until he has to help haul things to a dorm.
I am curious why but I’m not about to ask DS or YSS. I’m sure they know but I don’t need to know.
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Or until he needs money
To buy stuff for his dorm room
He doesn't need to do that
BM will send DH a bill for half.
What its like being a stepmom
What its like being a stepmom: having to get approval to clean a room in your own house.
I take it your DH is the same bury your head in the sand type as mine?
Why I asked DH
Is if OSS really is coming around and this is an anomaly I don’t want him to feel unwelcome if his room is tagged as a potential guest room (even if his crap is still out). ANd I don’t want to clean if he’s gonna be around because I am not gonna clean for him to just get it messy again.
and yes my DH is an ostrich
I wouldn't make this a hill
I wouldn't make this a hill to die on as I feel it's a little too soon. However, I would make sure my H was the one responsible for making the room ready when you have guests. Direct, repeated inconvenience and exposure to a problem is the best way to effect change in an ostrich daddee, so play the long game.
BTW, does your BS also live with you? If so, you might want to approach this as an Autumn mini remodel. Include your DH and redo both rooms with fresh pain and decor once the sons are off to college.
When YSD ran away, I gave it three months before I tackled her filthy biohazard of a room. A new color scheme and furnishings did so much to help me move forward. I don't think men understand how stressful it is for us to have a mess under our roof. Just knowing it was no longer lurking down the hall was such a relief!
I'm not dying on it, I am just curious
And we won't be remodeling yet. My parents left my stuff alone while I was in college so when I was home during breaks (I was never home summers), it was still my room. I feel that should be done for the kids in our house, too. But it will be clean.
I have already left it to DH to clean it if it needs to be used for a guest.
SD now20
still complains that I "cleaned her room and made it an office" 2 years ago.
When she turned 18, she then right after graduated high school, got a parttime job, and took a few summer classes. We didnt see her, she was busy - right? LOL, she had no license (still doesnt), so she started staying with a "friend". We did not know where and she kept it a secret. Basically she ghosted us leaving all her crap in her old room, as a sort of storage facility (shrine?) for, like whenever she decided to either move out officially or move back (lol!).
So munchkin and I cleaned her room pout 6 months later. DH took out electric bed base. Some dressers and tables. It was full of trash. Now its beautiful and clean and sun-filled.
So, communication might help here. Is there or gone or what?