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OT: DH, you’re a jerk

ITB2012's picture

Tonight DH and I went out. We went to a place we've never gone before. They had a game where you throw dice for a dollar to win money in the pot (that others have lost playing the same game). If you win you split the pot with the bartender. I won. I never win anything. I was just happy I won. And I didn't need the money (under a hundred) so I told the bartender (just a young kid, probably mid twenties) he could keep it all. 
He was grateful and thanked me. I said I was just happy I'd won anything and I didn't expect it nor need the money and that it wasn't really my money in the first place.

On the way home DH was brought it up and said I was naive. That it was my money since I won it and most people would have kept the money.  And something about me thinking I'm being better than others because I gave it away. 
I tried at first to explain. Didn't work. So I let him have it. I didn't appreciate being called stupid and I knew full well what I was doing. Did he really think I didn't? That I was really actually happy I'd won, I really didn't need the money, and that wanted the kid to have the money and was trying to be nice about it. The excuses Id made were real AND so the kid felt okay about it. And I was feeling good about it until he started in on me. And I told him he was being an a-hole about it (DH also doesn't need the money, by the way).

When we got home I told him one of us was sleeping elsewhere tonight, his choice.

I will not be put down for taking the opportunity to be nice. 
vent-over
 

Comments

Just J's picture

Sorry to agree but yes, your DH is a jerk. What you did was awesome and service people really appreciate stuff like that. Plus it's good karma! I take it your DH doesn't think much of people who pay it forward. I'm sure you made the bartender's night, good for you! As a former bartender, I commend you for your act of kindness. Don't let your DH get you down, you did a great thing. F him.

Enjoy being a bed hog tonight. Hope you sprawled out in the middle! 

Mandy45's picture

It was a nice gesture you proved your a good sport. You won it and you decided to do something good with it. And probably made that bartender night. No matter what your dh says your the better person. So stuff him. 

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

My hobby is contesting.  I won some and I lose some.  I'm also making pretty good money now.  I try and do good with my prize money as it keeps good kharma rolling my way and I remember in my poorer days that the money I won in contesting really helped me out.  I say good for you and doing a good deed for someone in need is sometimes better than money.  It's good for the soul.

ITB2012's picture

I just replied to someone on that thread on this post and now the poster deleted her comment. 
For the record DS and OSS are both about the same age as that bartender and have worked service jobs. I know how much tips mean to them. I know how much they meant to me when I worked in the service industry. So, Lieutenant Dad was right. The kid reminded me of them. 
Not that it should matter but I'm also pretty sure he had to split the tip jar with the other person working: a woman, probably late 20s/early 30/, and you might find her unattractive...cause apparently how much you want to bang the person matters for a tip...so since I didn't want to bang either of them it's probably okay. 
Come over, I'll introduce you to my DH. You sound like just his type. 

ITB2012's picture

To another spot in that chain and when I went to save it it told me I couldn't because the thread had been deleted. I don't delete responses because I like to have the full history so I can reflect on everything said.

Also, please notice that you outed yourself. I was again trying to be nice and did not use your screen name in my post. But I wanted to respond and have a post to remind me of what had been suggested in yours. 
 

So since I like to keep the full account I will respond to your other conjecture: I was not spending OUR money. After being encouraged by DH to play, I got a dollar out of my wallet from money I took out of my account which is funded by my paycheck from the job I perform full time. And when the kid asked if I was sure I didn't want any of the winnings I told him to just give me the dollar back and we'd be even. So if you think it's my husbands money, I got it back. 

beebeel's picture

Your husband is making his way to the top of the list of my least favorite around here. He has ZERO reasons to be such a dick to you all the time.

Siemprematahari's picture

I didn't appreciate being called stupid and I knew full well what I was doing.

So your H called you stupid for being kind and paying it forward? Seems like the only stupid person is your H for not acknowledging the good gesture. He should never speak to you in such a disrespectful way and he's lucky that sleeping in another room was his only consequence......I'd be real tempted to walk out on his shady @ss.

TrueNorth77's picture

Good for you for doing that! And yes your DH is a total d*ck. I love chances to pay it forward. I don't understand why anyone, especially your DH, would put you down for doing a nice thing. Even when people go and post their good deeds all over FB to get attention for it, I would never slam them for it. I try to focus on the fact that they did the good deed. What a nasty thing for him to do.

Merry's picture

If your DH had won, he could have kept his winnings. You didn't need his permission to give your winnings away. He's being a controlling jerk. 

DH and I were traveling over Christmas one year and had breakfast at a Waffle House. Probably a $20 meal. We left a $50 tip to a young, single mom. I felt way better about that gift than most of the others we gave that year. 

I like being nice. It's not foolish or stupid AT ALL.