What does a stepparent deserve to be left in a will?
I'm writing to you from the UK. I've been with my husband for 16 years, and married for 2. During all this time, we have never had a will. I feel so uncomfortable with this, as, even though we're married now, it still leaves me and my stepchildren terribly exposed to all kinds of taxes owed to the government without a Will. I almost managed to get one done - had the will writer/solicitor over to spend some time figuring out what's best. As it's my husbands name on the house and has been his home for 25 years, and he has most of the assets, it sort of feels like it's all up to him to decide how he wants things to go. Having said that, I've helped completely renovate our house and have put £1000's of my own money into it, and will continue to do so.
As regards the will, the solicitor thought that if my husband should pass first (which he may as he's older than me...terrible to think about!!!)it would be fair if 50% of the house goes immediately to my step kids and I have the remaining 50% to purchase another property for myself. I will be allowed up to 5 years to sell the house and move, allowing for the possibility it might not be a sellers market at the time in question. The idea then being that when I die, my assets will go to my step kids. This all sounds good to me, and I'm more than happy to pass everything on to the my skids. However, my husband doesn't like this idea....largely because I think he's been burned not once, but twice, by his two ex-wives, who wanted to get as much £££ as they could from him in their divorces. So, DH would prefer that I move out as soon as possible and split the proceeds of the house between myself and the kids, who are all now adults. This would mean a split of everything 4 ways, potentially 6 ways should his younger two children come back into our lives.
I feel nervous about this, as I'm not sure the proceeds of the house will actually be enough for me to buy even a small flat for myself in London, where I live. I also feel, and this is what I'm not sure about and would like some feedback on, that I'm being lumped in with the kids, as a sort of dependent, as it were (I do have my own career and although I don't make as much money as my husband, I do bring in an average UK salary per year). I feel in my heart that I deserve more consideration, or perhaps status, when it comes to being able to stay in (for a short while - I would def want to sell as soon as I was able) and benefit from my home, which I've worked so hard on. But...these are not my kids. And I don't have kids of my own. So maybe I'm being unreasonable to expect my husband to put more consideration into his wife than his kids? I don't want to have what is rightfully theirs - I love them and want them to have good and prosperous lives - I just want to make sure that the older woman I am to become is going to be taken care of. I've invested a great deal of myself into this family and this man...and it just doesn't feel right.
So - it's the age old question: Am I being unreasonable? Is my husband being insensitive?
Any thoughts appreciated!