DH thinks I am overly concerned about how much the kids pay attention to the dynamics in the household. This usually comes when I get so frustrated with a hypocrisy that I point it out. 

I took DS to tour a college and during the trip he asked about his recent house-sitting gig for us (DH and I went to visit his family, DS house and pet sat for five days). He asked me why we had him do it and not OSS or YSS. (They are all in HS.) He was curious why the skids weren’t trusted to do it. I stated that the weekend right before he house sat BM was gone and asked DH if OSS and YSS could stay at our house, and they did. So I didn’t think that DH and BM are ready for them to stay on their own yet (though OSS will be going off to college, too,). I said I think OSS and YSS are perfectly capable to do what he did each on their own, but it’s not my call. I did mention that DH was the one who brought up having DS house sit instead of getting other people to do it.

DS said, yes, but DH was upset about something when we got back. (I can’t remember what it was, it was minor, like the recycling was full and needed to be taken out.) DS went on to say that he notices DH picks on him and doesn’t get upset about the same things with the skids. Then he said in an accepting “way it is” voice: “But I’m not his son so that’s probably why.” 

(I reminded DH at the time he was crabbing that the house was a mess, some pet chores hadn’t been done, and a rug was torn last summer after we had a recent college grad watch the house and pets for just as long, and we’d never have that kid do it again, but DS did a good job and he did everything we asked.)

The way things were said/asked by DS it seems like the skids notice the difference in treatment, too. They are pretty tight so I’m not surprised they have talked amongst themselves about this stuff.