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Visitation 8 days of Hell pt 1

iamlosingit's picture

I promised updates, sorry was kind of a hectic week.  Turns out we don't get ANY signal what-so-ever at the cabin so I was unable to blog.

Day 1 Tuesday 7/3;

Cousin wisely did not respond to DH request to visit for the fourth.  We did end up loading up the truck/camper and going to Dh friend BBQ.  Surprisingly, I had a good time.  There were two other kids there, one was SS age.  They played a little bit but SS got "too hot" and proceeded to sit on a camping chair in front of the camper and sulk.  This caused Dh (who was assisting with the BBQ) to go into a panic.  The kids kept repeatedly going up to SS and asking him to play.  There were bean bags, soccer goals, water guns, ball toss.  The backyard was HUGE, plenty of space for all, and canopy set up every few feet for shade.  SS refused to play.  He had brought a board game but the other kids didn't want to play inside the camper(not any cooler temp-wise inside btw), they wanted to do the provided activities OUTSIDE.  Frustrating, oh well.  I made friends with the host's significant other and we talked most of the night while DH tried to enjoy himself through the guilt.  SS had two shirts on.  DH told him to take one off, SS refused.  DH sprayed his head with the hose, then SS sat and sulked because his shirt got wet.  We barely got any sleep and managed to wake up early enough to take the camper down before the rain.  I'm talking within seconds of the last clip being "snapped", it started pouring.  If SS attitude is any indication of how he is going to be this week, the cabin is going to be trouble.

Day 2 Wed 7/4:

Everyone was still exhausted from the night before.  We watched the 'macy's 4th of July' special on TV.  I spent most of the day reading while DH watched a movie with SS and played video games.  Later that evening we went to Dairy Queen and found a cool spot nearby our house that allowed us to watch four different sets of fireworks throughout the city.  Boring day but nice that there was no standard visitation day panic. SS complains about bug bites, DH puts calamine lotion on him.

Day 3 Thurs 7/5:

        Received an unexpected invite from DH grandmother to come to her apartment around 6 p.m. due to some out of state relatives coming to town.  Did she mention we should bring a dish to share? Dh goes into a panic (see a pattern here?) and makes one of the side-dishes meant for the cabin.  Oh well, not my problem. SS starts complaining that lotion did not work for bug bites so DH goes online for solution.  Sees something about Vicks Vapor Rub.  SS asks for some but DH says he has to buy it.

   We head to a nearby beach to kill time.  A wave went over SS head as he was trying to swim in the deep area and it turns into a soap opera with all the crying and daddy guilt, etc.  I understand as a kid it's scary, but this went on for over an hour.  We don’t live by an ocean, it was a friggin lake.  And Dh telling everyone “over his head” is an exaggeration, wave was like 3 inches high.  Drama King.  Leave the beach and head to DH grandmother's apartment. SS asks for Vicks but we are running late so DH doesn’t stop. 

     It is awkward.  Not much is said, and the relatives that came into town didn't seem to "chatty" or even care that we were there.  The apartment is small, but DH grandma is thrilled to have everyone there.  SS forgets an uncle's name, everyone smiles and laughs as they tell him its okay because SS was only a baby when he met him.  For some reason, the laughter instantly makes SS angry and he runs out the door.  Dh thought he was joking around and wasn't concerned until five minutes went by and SS doesn't return.

    This leads to a two-hour long search for SS who is now hiding somewhere in this massive 6 level open floor apartment complex.  None of the staff at the complex are working for the weekend so we can't do an intercom page.  There are elevators, many stairs/stairwells, a parking garage, garden area.....oh and did I mention if SS went outside he would have no way to get back in because he doesn't know how to use the intercom and you need a badge to access inside?  As MIL and I search, she confides her concern for SS.  She claims BM will not teach SS his home address or phone number, and almost being 11 MIL feels he should know these things.  I say nothing because it's not my place, she needs to talk to DH. 

    It is an elderly apartment, we had to stop six concerned tenants from pushing the life-alert devices in an effort to get police involved.  Much drama and panic, 10 people searching.  DH finds SS hiding under a stairwell deliberately ignoring the calls to come out.  I'm not sure what was said, but DH is not happy. 

  MIL proceeds to tell me more than I care to know about my DH when he was going through adolescence, and what to expect with SS.  DH gets upset when grandmother tried to tell him the get-together is for his birthday when it clearly wasn't.  SS is now asking for Vicks every 15 minutes even though we aren’t leaving yet.  Oh and MIL needed a ride last-minute.  Just happy she didn't invite herself over again.  We get the damn Vicks before dropping off MIL and head home.  Rest of the night uneventful other than SS applying Vicks every 5 minutes. 

5 days to go...and we still have the cabin to look forward to...Part 2 to follow


MoominMama's picture

He likes some drama and the attention that goes with it that kid. 

ESMOD's picture

It's hard to not be a disney  But, honestly his son is not being done any favors if someone caters or cow tows to his every wish.  I guess you also should be grateful he DIDN'T know BM's number.  We had an incident where the girls got "scared" of me and ran off to someone's house and called their mother who then freaked out on us.  It was a stupid situation.. I had been in the sun all day and was beet red and had been taking a nap at our house on a little island.  The girls had gotten into the people's construction materials across the street and had constructed what can only be termed a homeless person's encampment in our front yard.  I was livid to wake up to see this mess in our front yard PLUS they took the items without asking.  So, I yelled at them to put it all back IMMEDIATELY.  I guess between the beet red face and my yelling they got "scared".. but dang.. they were like 11 and 8 at the time.. and it's not like they never had been yelled at.    When we did locate them at their friend's house I did later tell them that if they EVER called their mother again like that over nothing that they would really have something to be afraid of.

Anyway... let the kid be bored.. he was oftered options and chose not to take them.  oh well and shrug your shoulders.  The running away stunt would have brought some stern consequences for sure.

bananaseedo's picture

OMG I'm laughing at how absurd this kid/dad are -reads like a friggin nightmare!  I swear the whole searching for him I would have tanned his a** for sure if it were my kid. He sounds like a miserable little snot.

queensway's picture

Okay the only thing I have to say in this childs defense is I hate bug bites to. HATE THEM! And I hate bugs. That being said I freaking need a drink just reading your blog. OMG how are you handling all of this drama? And MIL telling you to much info about your DH is crazy. Girl I only hope you have a lot of wine on this vacation from h3ll. And you better double up on vicks!

Major Blunder's picture

When he ran away I wouldn't have been looking very hard if I were in your shoes, kind of a happy twist of fate. " Oh darn kid has gone missing, oh well guess we should adjourn for mint julips on the veranda"

Major Blunder's picture

Thanks, dark and twisted but apparently that's how to survive SKIDs, the happy, twirly people just don't have the fortitude for this chaos  Diablo

Thumper's picture

I DO declare (spoken in perfect Charleston SC  ladies voice) why, Miss Aniki you have not lived until you have sipped a proper Mint Julip.

You must order one some time

loveandfitness's picture

DH sounds like a pushover; typical disneydad.   I can relate.   He’ll come around.  

Thumper's picture

Why does every darn thing a kid does,  have to be a Diagnosis these past 5 to 10 years?

Kids puts Vicks on his bug bites over and over again, kid appears to be fixated on the ONLY the vicks, bug bite and clothe..... maybe he needs a diagnosis.

Kid hides----maybe he needs evaluation

Kid runs out of house after being laughed at ---yup, thats a symptom. Lets not consider his age and the probability of being embarrassed.

Kid twirls hair---must be something.

Kid plays independently-- must be something.

Kid lines match cars up in a line--MUST be Autism

Kid runs around house flapping arm----MUST BE Autism not pretend he is a bird or flying.

Kid looks out school room window and day dreams---MUST be something.

Kid like to look at Christmas lights---by gosh it's a symptom of Autism.

Kid struggles in school---must be ADD---dope 'em up.

IAMLOOSINGIT, I remember vacations with skids were awful. Always a problem. It took us a long time to figure out what was going on but once we did----we dropped the rope. Anyway try to slice out time for you IF your able.


oneoffour's picture

My grandson can be a PITA. He is 6 but very tall... constantly mistaken for 8 or 9 and has the emotional depth of a 6 yr old. The only thing that works is time out on my stairs. He sat there for 30 mins on Sunday because he could not keep his hands to himself. Crying didn't work, neither did the prerequisite bathroom dash. 

Then all is forgiven with an apology until the next time ... 30 minutes on the stair. He smartened up pretty quickly. Oh and a good dose of melatonin and nite nite!

This 10 yr old needs the same thing. Place him in time-out and ignore his arse for 30 mins. And a good does of melatonin... hourly if neccessary*diablo*