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pity-party for "Poor DH"....

iamlosingit's picture

DH got a phone call yesterday from the repair shop....they are having issues with his insurance company and the police still can't find the hidden vehicle that hit him.... so despite having full coverage and having his vehicle since Tuesday morning....they haven't even started on repairs.  They are guessing he is going to be lucky to have his vehicle back come Feb.  So the "estimate" just went from "you'll have it back by this Friday" to "Sorry, February".   Naturally, DH loses his shyt and starts posting on FB these loooong drawn out posts about "sorry son, daddy is being attacked by the world again and won't be able to see you...".  I HATE how he does this crap, "vague-booking"... all the "what happened??" comments, such a juvenille. SS doesn't' even have a FB, this is all just a big pity-party.  We have 6 visitation days left this month = 8 drives total.

He KNOWS that SIL is picking up SS from the bus tomorrow (1)

he KNOWS I re-arranged my schedule tomorrow and moved appointments so I will  be there when SIL gets to our house with SS so DH can meet me at home on the bus. (He will only be there about 15/20 minutes later than usual...NOT the "end of the world")

he KNOWS he is using MY CAR for drop off on Sunday....(2)

and MY CAR for pick-up/drop off for Monday visitation since my work is closed for holiday....(3 & 4)

SIL is picking up SS from the bus stop on the last Monday/Thursday visitation (5,6)

My car will be used again for dropping off SS the last Monday/Thursday unless SIL is bringing them to her house (7,8)


But SUUURE DH....just keep it up with the "woe is me" FB posts about "poor SS" and "the world is attacking me, trying to strip my parenting time from me...".  Whatever makes you feel better.  I'm just thankful that he can even take the bus. FFS DH....  


ESMOD's picture

I know a few people that post stuff like that.  I hate it too.  I don't think they understand how it makes them look.  I mean, when I see those posts.. I automatically think that they are a victim of their own bad decisions "again"....  

On another note.. I think you might want to see if you can speak with the at your state's atty general office.  I have known some people to get traction with that.

Do you think his insurance company is holding out because they think that he may have been the cause of the accident?.. not the other person (or that another person doesn't exist)?  I mean.. I think ins should cover the issue whether we are at fault or not generally right? I back over a mailbox.. I still get covered., the only difference is that I pay that deductible if I can't hook it on someone else to pay it.

iamlosingit's picture

This is just my assumption: I'm wondering if his insurance is hoping to find the other party to send the bill to their insurance so they don't have to foot the bill??  I know MN is a "no fault" state so this is extremely confusing and frustrating.  They already cut DH a check based on the estimate from the pictures he had to send them....maybe the shop is saying "no, it's going to cost more" and that's why they can't move forward?  I have a different insurance company and my own agent, I know it would be different if it was my car.  DH was in an accident a few years ago and it took his insurance company over a month to get his car fixed, same company.  I am not too hopeful.

iamlosingit's picture

I think they just sent the pictures to the shop, then the shop "estimated" based on the pictures....why on earth they would do a picture estimate before actually looking at the vehicle I don't know...unless maybe they were wondering if the shop would say it wasn't worth fixing?.  Seems like it would be more work for the insurance company

ESMOD's picture

He got a check though right?  Based on his history of "losing" valuable things.. missing money.  I would be verrrrry worried about this "check" in his possession!

iamlosingit's picture

it was made out to the shop he brought the vehicle me he wants his vehicle fixed.  We both rely on our transportation waaay too much to afford a spending-spree.  Vehicle is direct connect to SS, BM doesn't have a car or license so if he has no vehicle it wrecks visitation AND THE WORLD WILL END.....*eyeroll*  He only has 6 and 4 hour visits during the week other than the weekend overnights so taking SS on the bus is not an option.  Would spend more time on the bus than "quality time", according to DH.

advice.only2's picture

Agreed! My SIL was in a horrible car accident and after the person who hit her (no insurance), her insurance only was willing to pay the minimum, they had to sue their own insurance to get the full amount of what they should get, their lawyer told them this is common with insurance agencies.

ndc's picture

I don't know how you even stay in this situation.  I couldn't put up with the SS bullshit, the financial irresponsibility and the lack of personal responsibility on the part of your H. I hope things improve for you.

Chmmy's picture

Ugh the vague poor me posts and then people ask whats wrong and then you dont answer for a day and leave everyone in suspense? If my DH did that Id find a way to delete his facebook. Is he 17?

Doesnt he know steptalk is where you go to get sympathy? Hahahaha

iamlosingit's picture

Stalk is more for venting in my case lol I don't look for sympathy on here, more of  mutual understanding and advice, tips :-)

Chmmy's picture

I vent on stalk like I could never vent on facebook. Very few people know how I actually feel about the skids and obviously DH and the inlaws would be devastated to find out that the sweet step mommy who has done so much for these kids really cant stand them.

advice.only2's picture

God I hate the vaugebook game, when people do that I don't comment or I get really passive aggressive with them, and that never ends well.

Sounds like everybody has swooped in and fixed his problems for him, has he ever had to actually do any work to fix his own problems himself?

Chmmy's picture

My son works for an insurance company and he says the amount of people they hire and pay a salary whose sole purpose is finding a reason to not pay a claim or reduce a claim makes him sick. He has been working as an actuary for less than a year and he's ready to get out. He found a job working as a software programmer that he starts next summer. Guess who hired him? An insurance company lol

Harry's picture

It maybe take a thinking ahead, but him sitting on his rear and posting to Facebook doesn’t pay the bill either. If he has time for Facebook, he has time to do something to make a few dollars??

Step-girlfriend's picture

Oh no, your DH is a vague-booker also? That is the worst. I hate to say it, but I struggle to see what you find attractive in this man. This, combined with the rest of his attributes...he's like all of my pet-peeves rolled into one person. I would have a hard time being in your shoes.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

You said this year would be different, that you are done with your H and his low rent nonsense. So get yourself in check and stop allowing his perpetual problems to suck you back in.

Make an exit strategy, save your money, and stop worrying about him.