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Hives (also new update, I made some calls)

iamlosingit's picture

Now my brother just informed me he hasn't slept in two days, mom tried to hit grandma last night and as a result he's being kicked out and grandma said if mom does that one more time she's calling the cops. She should have called last night. I now have stress-induced hives all over my right arm and it is spreading and I still have 7 hours of my shift. Sorry I'm venting so much it just helps to get it out. Pray mom freaks out again and grandma calls. This is insane. I'd turn my phone off but I need it on in case DH calls with news about his mom.

New info:
I called the psychiatric ward of a well known hospital and reported elder abuse. They said they would send someone out there to do a "wellness check" HOWEVER if my grandma (homeowner) refuses to let them in there is nothing they can do but file it. Also if she lies about it they can't do anything because the hit didn't connect and leave a visible mark.
I also called the police. They basically said the same thing. They can report it and do a welfare check but if grandma refuses to let them in or tell them the truth they can't do anything either because there is no physical proof.

Comments

ESMOD's picture

So mom causes a problem with her mother and the SON is being kicked out? That is definitely a head scratcher.

Honestly, I would think that instead of waiting for another incident (which is sure to come).. your grandmother should be able to admit that neither she (nor anyone else) can handle your mom in their home and that your mother will be better served in a facility that can keep her and those around her safe.

Again, try to contact your local aging govt resource to see if there is any concrete steps you can be taking to intervene here.

iamlosingit's picture

I tried. They said they can go to the home to make a "welfare check" but if grandma refuses to let them in they can't do anything. The police said the same thing, all they can do is file a report if she refuses. The attempted hit did not connect so all she has to do is lie. She thinks she is "saving" her daughter...she is making it worse and I can't help them without cooperation.
I also tried the psychiatric ward at a local hospital and reported elder abuse. They pretty much said the same thing. They can go out and do a welfare check but all grandma has to do is lie and they can't do anything unless there is proof.

Thumper's picture

WTH?

How old are you? How old is your brother and how old is Grandmother?

IS bio mom using?

Someone needs to contact the police. Plain and simple.

iamlosingit's picture

Age has nothing to do with anything. I called, Police said if grandma(homeowner) wont let them in and/or denies anything physical happened they legally can not do anything but make a report about it. Also, she attempted to hit but didn't connect so unless my grandma admits it happened they can't do anything, no physical proof.
Bio mom, you mean my mom? No she is not on drugs she is terminally ill and is at the stage in her illness where she gets randomly psychotic. I can tell by your response you haven't read the previous blog titled "elder care family problems". This would make more sense if you did.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I also have stressed induced hives. Benadryl cream and spray, while TEMPORARILY effective, offer me scant relief. This is what I do for bad flare-ups (or insect bites):

Get Benadryl CAPSULES
Cut open 1 or 2 (or more, depending on the area you need to cover) and empty into a shot glass
Add a few drops of water and stir with a toothpick
Apply to the hives/bites

This offers a higher dosage of Benadryl to the area AND (bonus) does not make you sleepy!

I am so sorry you're going through this. {{{HUGS}}}

moving_on_again's picture

Thanks, Aniki! I get them, too. Not as often as I used to, thankfully. Now I have different reactions, mostly now my hands curl up and I can't move them. That's a ton of fun when you're driving. Also, I have a tremor now. My doctor said since I only have it "part of the time," it's from anxiety. I am thinking about seeing a specialist.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Moving_on, I get the capsules at Walmart (think they're a Walmart brand). If you cannot find capsules, you CAN use caplets (those pink ones) and grind them in a pill crusher. However, the outer pink 'shell' is also in there and a pain to try and pick out.

Hives are my first warning sign of anxiety. I have a single HUGE hive that pops up on the back of my shoulder that indicates "Danger!!" It's actually a bit of a relief to have that warning because my anxiety leads to panic attacks that are so severe, I've ended up in the hospital.

Fun part: I don't have tremors. I get itchy all over and start stuttering. Sad

moving_on_again's picture

I stutter, too. I usually don't mind it but it's difficult on the phone because people think you've just stopped talking.

The joys of anxiety. "It's all in your head," I respond with, "Ok, then how to I get it out?"

Aniki-Moderator's picture

All in your head. Pfffft!!!!! P!sses me off when people say that. I'd LOVE to surgically extract my anxiety AND depression from my "imagination". My "imagination" is so freakin' powerful, it manifests itself physically and quite powerfully. Bottle THAT and sell it, arsehole.

My DH has even said to me, "Baby, why are you upset? You're stuttering." I AM upset, and so much so that I don't even realize I'm stuttering! It sucks.

simifan's picture

Print out Gimlet's response and post it on your fridge. I've been in your position. My sister has MH issues. Mom refused to place her until I stopped bailing her out. I know how hard it is and how long it took. but you are already paying the price with your own health. You cannot be responsible for others decisions.