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changes for the better (somewhat)

iamlosingit's picture

Been awhile since I posted.  November has been kind of nutso.

On the plus side, a few major things have happened:

DH has completely and unexpectedly turned over a new leaf.  He had a hard look in the mirror and didn't like what he saw.  Came home from work and we had a LONG talk, he apologized for everything. 

Says he is going to cut way back on drinking (so far so good, he's purchased one 12 pack this entire month and it was shared with his family on Thanksgiving. One drink purchased at dinner this month, all other times has ordered sweet tea)

He apologized for not paying me on time for utilities and has started paying attention to the calender on SS door.  Cashed out an old IRA from a job he has not had in a long time and has paid. me. back. in. full. as well as paid off his credit card.

Brother is moving in to a rental house with our father on December 1st.  Not sure if this will help our grandparents or hurt them since he had been taking over more of Mom's care.  We are still unable to find a spot for mom.

Grandma collapsed on Thanksgiving and was rushed to the ER.  She was released in less than 48 hours and is home wearing a heart monitor for two weeks.  A chest x-ray revealed nothing but a super healthy heart.  Her heart rate kept dropping to 30 beats/minute and her levels were skyrocketing but nobody knows why.  We still know nothing.  Talks of a pace-maker are being made but nothing concrete.  This increases the need to get mom out of that house, especially with brother moving out.  Rich aunt vented at the hospital about her unhappiness on my mom not helping grandma out more, unsure what to do about this since I know mom will help with anything when asked but lacks the mentality to self motivate and help without being told what needs to be done.

We still hosted DH family and my three family members on Thanksgiving without a hitch.  DH mom and his SM were there, was slightly awkward but nobody killed anyone. (I only had to raise my voice twice to get everyone out of the damn kitchen so we could prep)  Despite DH stepdad death years ago and both parties having skids, his mom and SM still have a HUGE rift and dislike for each other and it has been DECADES.  Doesn't make me very hopeful for SM's in general.

(backstory if anyone cares: DH stepdad was in a prior relationship and they had 4 bio kids.  DH divorced wife 1 and married DH mom, no bio kids but she had two kids with someone else.  They never had bio's together. Lots of accusations of "man stealing" but I don't know the whole story.  All "kids" are now adults and get along great with both SM's and one another, no issues. It's just the SM's attitude).

Did not see any evidence of drug usage from MIL, also did not see any signs of her "detox plan" but it's not like I really know what I'm looking for in that department anyway.  She has not volunteered any information.

With grandma in the hospital that day, mom didn't take her pills so she was a mess on Thanksgiving.  Kept going through my cupboards looking for wine that I did not have (thank god. boo for me but glad mom couldn't steal it), freaked out on dad about leaving, left her two casserole dishes at our house despite me telling her to take them she said "don't worry about it we'll get them later".  The next morning my brother called me in a panic saying grandma was going to "freak out" if she didn't have those dishes back and said mom claimed SHE was being rushed by DAD to leave and that's why she didn't take them. (lots of truth fabrications happen when she doesn't take her meds).  Caught MIL with multiple large Tupperware she had brought from home in the kitchen filling them with food for herself.  This bothered me because we had about 17 people over and only two people brought a side-dish, we spent about $200 on food and didn't have a lot left after everyone went home.  Whatever.  It was still a nice holiday.

Saturday we put up the Christmas tree, one upstairs and my old tree in the basement.  DH and SS decorated the tree downstairs together and left me upstairs to tackle the big one by myself.  No big deal, but funny how DH is so focused on "doing things as a family" then excludes me when we have an opportunity.  They blasted music at top volume, screamed and giggled, somehow blew a fuse plugging everything in one outlet, and drove me nuts.  When they came upstairs for a "break" SS was "pretend falling down".  He claimed "the kitchen is JUS' SO swippery daddee".  This went on for a good half hour of THUD/GIGGLE/SQUEAL and I finally asked him to stop goofing around before he hurt himself.  This made me spawn of satan and earned me a lecture from DH on "being nice to SS because you hurt his feelings".  FML. Great, let your kid act like an idiot and crack his head open on the counter/stove I don't care.

BM called Dh in a panic on Monday, the school nurse called her and told her SS had been in a fight, cut his eyelid and broke his glasses.  Since BM can't drive, she was demanding DH leave work to go pick up SS immediately and bring him to the emergency room. 

DH called and spoke to the nurse; long story short there was NO fight whatsoever, another kid accidentally ran into SS while running backwards and SS glasses fell off and were broken.. His eye was fine, no marks except a small cut on his hand from catching himself when he fell upon impact.  I'm assuming BM stopped listening to the nurse talking after hearing "broken glasses".  Sometimes it's a blessing BM can't drive....that would have been a pretty expensive and useless emergency room bill on DH insurance.  Since BM has still not paid her share of SS medical bills from last year, I can imagine the mess this would have caused us financially had she brought him in.  DH went with ss to purchase new glasses after pick-up, BM got upset that DH didn't purchase him two pairs "just in case".  Sigh.  She also offered nothing in terms of sharing the bill for said glasses.  Since SS just had an eye doctor appointment not even 4 months ago, none of this was covered by insurance.  I'm not sure what is covered or not covered in terms of eye exam stuff, I haven't been to an eye doctor in years.

 

SO that about sums everything up for this month.  Wonder what December will bring.

 

 

Comments

PokaDotty's picture

My DH breaks glasses at least 2x a year. No matter how "durable" they are. We order backup glasses from GlassesUSA.com which says a TON of $$. Might be an idea?

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Good news about your DH! Woo hoo!!!

I'm wondering... how did MIL smuggle in those large Tupperware containers??

iamlosingit's picture

she had them in a plastic grocery bag tied shut, since she usually doesn't carry a purse I assumed it was her hat/gloves/etc.