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Public knowledge on social media- OT

I love dogs's picture

Disclaimer: I am a millennial. I have no desire to share my life on Facebook. I don't have Instagram, snapchat, or Twitter. I am friends with a lady from high school who is a first time mom. She posts EVERY day about motherhood and her baby.

What kinda weirded me out the other day was she posted about breastfeeding- how she out-eats her husband, how she is always starving, etc. Great. Being a parent is beautiful but is it really necessary to share these things where your male family members will see?


hereiam's picture

Some people just need to write in a private journal.

I don't get the need to put everything "out there". Does it make them feel important? Do they want responses and attention? Do they really think people care? It's just weird to me.

fakemommy's picture

I'm not sure why it is anyone else's business what you post on your own facebook page. A lot of people use facebook to document their journey the way others write blogs. Nothing wrong with that. And why would her male family members care that she posts about breastfeeding? Also, her posts about breastfeeding and motherhood may help other new moms who struggle or maybe she'll get advice that she otherwise wouldn't have had. A lot of people also have distant family members as friends who DO want or appreciate the daily updates.

lieutenant_dad's picture

If people feel comfortable sharing, that's their business and their right. Your right is to not view content you find displeasing. Her male family members have that same right.

Unfollow or block her content from your feed. She isn't doing anything wrong by posting it, and you aren't doing anything wrong by blocking it.

WTF...REALLY's picture

People write all sorts of stuff on Facebook. There’s someone in my list that is just constantly writing about stuff I don’t want to see. So I just unfollowed them. They have the right to post and I the right to unfollow.

It’s an interesting world we live in now a days.

I love dogs's picture

I guess I don't understand following. It wasn't like that when I first got FB but then again I'm not super technically inclined either.

I'm not saying she doesn't have a right to post whatever she pleases but I don't think an everyday post is necessary. To each his own I suppose.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I honestly do not understand why people want to put it ALL out there in public. And I mean AAAAAAALLLL of it. Every embarrassing moment, every personal tidbit. Especially when future employers can and WILL google you. You can keep a diary online without posting it for public consumption. My private life is exactly that: PRIVATE. I find the overshare weird.

I love dogs's picture

That's my thought but I've always been an introvert so I guess I just don't understand.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

People who post the most intimate details of breakups.

"He told me I suck in bed." (Way to advertise!)
"She left me for my best friend!" (EX best friend, dude.)
"I've been dumped AGAIN. That's the fourth guy in 3 months." (Maybe it's time to take a break!!)
"Don't understand why I can't keep a boyfriend." (How about cuz you're a psycho nut job who stalks??"

Sex posts:
"So the neighbors called the cops on us." (The husband was screaming while she, um, er, DID him.)
"He's hung like a telephone pole and I can handle it!" ~wink wink~ (And that says WHAT about your, um, wink wink??)
"We do it 10-12 times a day, every day." (You both have full time jobs. So... you're doing it WRONG. Take more time. It will be better!)

I love dogs's picture

This really got me. I love it! A "friend" of DH's posted about how his cheating wife's lover better watch his back and he can't believe she betrayed him after almost 2 decades of marriage. About 3 weeks later...? Happy selfies of the married couple being all happy and faithful again. That really made me sick.

moving_on_again's picture

Or they post vague stuff but tell people not to ask. Um, that's dumb. Or "Prayers - but I'm not saying what for!" Or "RIP to a dear friend" but don't post who the friend is. That crap drives me crazy. Either write the whole thing or don't put it on there for attention for YOU.

advice.only2's picture

Yes I agree those posts irritate me and when I see them I hide them:

"Please keep the hands of god on my family right now, so much love needed, no words to express what's going on...." b@tch that was a lot of words right there, words you could have used to articulate WTF is wrong!

I love dogs's picture

I ignore those for sure. One of my cousins is very mentally unstable and posts at least once a month about her anxiety and how she'll never date, can't get a job, and over her fave show getting cancelled so she can only stay in bed that day. I have no more words of encouragement for her.

IDontCare3117's picture

RIP to a dear friend. Our cherished earthworm, Digger, has gone to the angel-chorusing beyond. Yes, he was on a fishing hook when the tragedy occurred. Yes, my beloved husband caught 15 pound catfish we will have mounted on the wall. Digger will be nonetheless missed, and will remain forever in our hearts.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Moving_on, before I deleted my fakebook account, one gal frantically posted for prayer requests because she forgot to pack her curling iron for her Las Vegas wedding. Yep. Prayers for a curling iron. I'm sure there are NO stores that sell curling irons in a 1000 mile radius around LV. SMDH

queensway's picture

Some people use Facebook like a daily diary. I am following my friends cancer journey on Facebook. It helps him and it keeps all of us up to date. She could be just doing daily post. Smile

secret's picture

I have it... I don't use it much... to keep in touch with family members, really, and most of it is done through the chat.

strugglingSM's picture

A lot of people use FB for personal validation. I would bet that your new mom "friend" is feeling pretty lonely and posts to get "likes" and "comments' that make her feel like she has friends or that she's getting attention.

I have a love-hate relationship with FB. I use it to keep in touch with a very small number of people who I actually care about, but have a lot of other dead weight on my account that I could really do without. I think about deactivating my account nearly every time I log on and have a couple of times.

It's so weird and fake to me, everyone presenting their perfect lives that are not really perfect. Before she and DH were divorced, BM posted all of this stuff on social media about what a happy and perfect family they all were...meanwhile, IRL it was a completely different story.

DH posts all kinds of photos of his kids when he has them, because he feels as though people think he's not a good father because he never sees them and he wants people to know all that he does. That said, my parents (yes, the step-grandparents) enjoy seeing videos and pictures of his kids since they live so far away, so it's serving a purpose for them, I suppose.

Sometimes, I feel really gross after learning all these personal things about people I barely know. For example, I have several "friends" from high school (who were not really my friends IRL) who have posted all about their divorces or someone else posted her engagement photos and then never actually got married. So strange to me that so many people want to put all that stuff out there.

I love dogs's picture

I have a lot of dead weight FB friends also. This woman in particular is a SAHM and moving to a new state with her military hubby. I get it, she's probably lonely. If I need a friend I call my mom or my sister. I have a lot of FB friends that need constant validation. I guess I just can't understand.

strugglingSM's picture

Yeah, my view is that by the time you reach adulthood, you shouldn't need external validation to feel happy about yourself, but I find that I'm often in the minority in holding that view.

momjeans's picture

You're a millennial. You don't use instagram, Snapchat, or Twitter. You rarely log into Facebook AND you're not "super technically inclined"?

You're not a millennial - you're a unicorn.

Seriously, though. I get it. Sort of. I feel it serves a purpose for each person differently. Just unfollow.

I love dogs's picture

I hope me being a unicorn is a compliment! Haha I guess the people here on step talk use this site for some sort of validation as well.

ownpersonalopinion1's picture

I don't understand people that post things like "I love my child/grandchild with my last breath to the stars and back and can't breath until I see them today. I haven't seen my loves since yesterday. The reason my life is on earth is to live for my most beautiful, amazing, awesome child/grandchild" and on and on.

I love my children/grandchildren dearly, but I do have a life and I can breath. I just don't get it. It's like these mothers that cry and carry on when Junior or Sissy go to 5th grade on the first day of school.

I love dogs's picture

I think that's a huge mistake that parents make. They need their own lives and kids need the chance to have their own interests and hobbies.

strugglingSM's picture

Reading your post made me laugh, because I see so many of those posts about having the "most amazing" kids or how "my life is my kids", etc and I just roll my eyes.

People can be truly obnoxious about their kids. I tell DH all the time that if we have a kid, I hope I'm not as obnoxious about our kid as he is about his kids. I've told him "no one thinks your kids are as cute as you think they are, so please just stop." My SSs are in middle school, so very few people currently think they are cute. He was all upset about not being able to see them on their first day of 6th grade until I pointed out to him that when we were kids, you got one first day of school picture (usually kindergarten) and that was it. The other years, you just hopped on the bus with everyone else like it was just another day.

BethAnne's picture

I do not really see her increase in appetite due to breast feeding her baby being too intimate information to share with anyone really. It is in the same realm in my mind as saying she has taken up running so her appetite has increased. Now if she were to say that she had contracted worms and so her appetite had increased that gets into yuck territory for me, but it is still a health issue so maybe...?

For me the ones I unfollow are those that use excessive cuss words and those that post all their personal drama.

WagiMorri's picture

Some people like to share things in an open forum environment. Thankfully you can hide her posts and you don't have to feel upset any more.

I love dogs's picture

I'm not upset about it I just don't understand putting everything out there because I'm just not that kind of person.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I'm with you. My life is NOT an open book. I am a very private person. So is my DH.

I also do not understand the obsession with selfies. The SDs were (probably still are) posting selfies Every.Single.Day. And usually more than one. :?

princessmofo's picture

I recently "unfollowed" a fellow coworker due to excessive selfie-taking. Like I'm talking 2-4 a day with annoying captions like "I look cute today". Clearly it's a cry for validation/attention and I'm too busy having a life and a career to fall all over her and her fragile ego.

I love dogs's picture

I hate that! And I hate those stupid snapchat filters. I have friends who have teens who take 10+ selfies a day. A coworker of mine is convinced the facial detectors are the government's way to track us.

notsobad's picture

I used to only post happy things. Pictures of our trips or family get togethers. Yes, bad things happen but I didn't see the point in announcing the bad.
Then I was accused of making my life look better than it was and only bragging about my great life. SMH, I thought I was posting happiness and it turns out I'm bragging?

I like to follow old friends who've moved away or we've drifted apart. I also have a friend dying of cancer and I follow his progress.

DH hates FB. He used to hate it when I posted anything about our lives or pictures of us happy. Back in the beginning it would trigger BM and she'd start calling and yelling at him about whatever.

Now I don't really care what BM or anyone else thinks. Well, I do care what DH thinks but he's better now too.
I post what makes me happy and what I want to share. I make comments on things that affect me and scroll past things that don't.

I love dogs's picture

Yes I only focus on the good. If a family member or close friend posted something distressing, I will usually send a message to make sure they're ok. Thankfully BM doesn't have enough friends to have a FB lol