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DH going to BM's to "talk" to SD

I love dogs's picture

That is the message he just sent me. He called BM and told her that it's bullsh!t that she is telling SD things behind his back and allowing her to be a two timing little snot. He even asked me if I wanted to go! Um, HELL NO, but thanks for the offer- NOT! I did ask that he does say the following on my behalf, however:

1) I am not an evil SM and do care for SD but her game playing and tattling must stop for not being entertained 24/7 and

2) If BM thinks it's so wrong that SD is left alone for THIRTY MINUTES that she please tell DH it's an issue instead of going behind his back and telling SD it's wrong and

3) If SD wants someone to do something nice for her, she ought to return the kindness instead of just taking all the time.

DH says he's "pissed" so I'm secretly hoping that SD doesn't even want to come home with him and we can enjoy our evening and homemade meatballs alone but if she does come home with him, she is to find her own entertainment and not whine about being SO BORED at dad's because she can't Skype on my laptop all day. She was given a perfectly fine tablet and mini laptop from us that she is allowed to use here.

ETA- DH said he told BM that SD's attitude will stop now because he is sick of it. Also that she is NOT to say one thing to one person then something completely different to another just to get her way, and if SD can't stay 30 minutes alone while I walk the dogs, she can get off her ass and go with me. I asked DH if BM agreed to this because she is the one who was freaking out about a 12 year old being alone for less than a half hour. SD is bad but BM is worse. BM is the reason SD is the way she is, after all.

Comments

hereiam's picture

What is wrong with a 12 year old being left alone while you walk the dogs? If that is a problem, you've got bigger problems. Is your SD that immature or was BM concerned about her lovely being bored while you were gone or what? I don't get it.

I love dogs's picture

I didn't have my phone and SD was telling BM that she couldn't reach me and that she just wanted to go home to be with GBM because she was DYING of boredom here without a laptop. BM has never told DH that she has a problem with SD being home alone for small bits but we all know how those BMs are.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

From the blog I posted today....

Solitude may reduce behavior problems in kids.
Whaaaaaat?!?! Yep. When you carve out some YOU time in your schedule, you show your children (and SKIDS!) that being alone is a HEALTHY thing to do. Research shows that kids who learn to be by themselves are better behaved than other children.

There is NO reason a 12yo preteen cannot be left alone for 30 freaking minutes. No child should have to be entertained by someone every bloody second of the day. If SD cannot be left alone for 30 minutes, your DH and BM have bigger problems on their hands.

I love dogs's picture

The funny thing is that BM only told SD that it was "wrong" that she was left alone AGAIN. SD enjoys being alone, in fact. The reason she was SO BORED because I was using my laptop to WORK. We bought SD a laptop almost 2 years ago and haven't seen it since. She just wanted to "hang out with GBM" but the real reason was so she could use BM's laptop that has all the bells and whistles like mine does.

We leave SD alone plenty in the last year to have brunch or run errands- she almost never wants to join and doesn't complain to BM because she has MY laptop that she got super glue on if you remember that blog.

The best part? DH confronted BM about SD being alone and she didn't say a DAMN THING! But she'll sure tell SD how WRONG and ABUSIVE it is!