Update to psycho BM blog
Thank you all for your responses.
I want to say first of all I wish I could be on here more. Baby boy is keeping me so busy and sleep deprived.
Second, I also want to say that even though I remain disengaged from any issues with SD, I am interacting and involved with SS13. He is an amazing skid, responsible and hard working. Does chores and helps me with the baby.
Also, my venting this weekend did not show that I was actually supportive of SO. I did listen and try to offer advice. I did tell him its hard for me because I am worried for our family here and that I don't want to give the wrong advice and then he is screwed.
With all that being said, I DID tell him if it were me I'd tell her to "fuck off" in more neutral terms. I wouldn't not give in and I would get a lawyer. That is what he needs to do and he needs to do it now. My earlier blog was all of my thoughts and fear about what nightmare will happen if I end up with an SO who has to deal with court/custody issues. I've read so much about that situation here and its so frustrating.
He pays CS (straight to her account-- no waiting for the system!), he pays medical. He pays the bills that end up at our house AFTER medical insurance, he buys clothes, bookbags and sports needs. If they want something, he buys it.
BM is now angry because SHE decided to buy SD16 a car (after SO said he will not buy SD a car) and that car now needs maintenance. SD has a job, but she can't afford some of the maintenance. Not his problem. He didn't choose to purchase a car for his daughter.
She is angry because SHE went to a dentist/ortho and signed SS up for braces without consulting SO first about this potential expense.
He finally texted her today to say, "I cannot help you with these expenses" Left it at that.
She then comes back with "aren't you thankful that I haven't taken you to court this whole time even though I could have to get the CS increased? You spend money on the skids for things they don't need, these are things they need. I never ask you for anything extra"
-NO a car is not a necessity for SD.
-Braces, ok, but she didn't go through the proper procedure to involve SO in the first place.
Plus, he could get them later and not now. Instead of saving for a "medical" expense SS needed, she decided instead to
-the anything extra is a lie. She has asked. She asked him to buy Sd a car last year and she asked him to pay half the insurance. LIE
- When the skids ask her for something (new shoes for baseball for SS when he went out for the team) she said no ask your dad. She purposely says no because she knows skids will come to their dad.
He asked her to speak with him face to face and she said now (probably a good idea because their emotions get the best of them face to face).
So now SO is going to find a lawyer today and set up a consultation. We already know that BM is NOT going to let SS come live with us. SO just said he wants it out in the open and for her to have to tell SS no because SS is still talking like he is moving. Its so sad because he deserves the chance to go to a college prep school. He has worked on his grades and extracurriculars all last year and so far this year in order to make himself look good on applications. AND BTW, she made the skids ask dad for the car money and braces money because and I quote SS13 "mom said if we ask you won't say no"
Anyways, lots going on and trying to focus mostly on my baby boy. His face makes me forget it all.
We'll see if she follows through on her veiled threat.