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DH says he made SD18 cry

Helena.Handbasket's picture

Submitted by Helena.Handbasket on Mon, 08/11/2014 - 9:08am

Not sure what got into DH, but he had a come to jesus talk with SD18 this weekend. He asked her about her college applications and she asked him when is she moving in with him (as a reminder SO and I currently live in separate states due to work).

The end result was he told her SHE needs to start being responsible for her life, its time to grow up, and she and BM need to stop putting all of the blame on him for when SD messes up. Its not HIS fault she decided not to go to college prep. Its not his fault she decided to lie to him for 2 years and get failing grades for 3 years. Its not his fault she put herself in a position that she is in right now, which is community college/tech school option. For some reason she has it in her mind she deserves to go off to a great 4 year college like her friends, but she hasn't prepared, filled out applications, or done any necessary preparation. Why would she move if she isn't even accepted to a school in his city??

He said she cried, but he told her he's done begin the one at fault for everyone else's decisions. Since being disengaged, I have figured out how to respond in these situations. Never say anything negative about SD. So, I said that's terrible BM does that to her. Then his response was, you give BM too much credit. SD is the one behaving irresponsibly. WOW.

So, when you push him he can respond.

I'm not sure why that I still get surprised by my ability to predict exactly how things will go with SD. I knew all of this would happen. She figured she's tired of her mom so she would just go live with daddy and he will take care of her and she can keep status quo. I predicted this. She still hasn't even picked what she wants to do, she is still saying she wants to do what dad picked. Dental Hygiene. There is no way she will do the science required for it. Not happening. She doesn't even realize that the only place she can do it is near my home. That will be interesting. She will struggle her whole life. I will always have to stand my ground. Dear universe, please help me so that I teach my son better.

Comments

frustratedstepdad's picture

Submitted by frustratedstepdad on Mon, 08/11/2014 - 9:44am

Good for him!! At least it sounds like your DH has finally had enough of SD's crap!

Helena.Handbasket's picture

Submitted by Helena.Handbasket on Mon, 08/11/2014 - 12:27pm

Yes, they sound quite similar. DH didn't finish school either, but he actually worked very hard to learn management and work his way up through his company earning several promotions. He is a hard worker. She doesn't have it.

Helena.Handbasket's picture

Submitted by Helena.Handbasket on Mon, 08/11/2014 - 3:17pm

Yep! Its always someone else's fault. :?

Its sad when the kid stays where they are treated poorly.

Helena.Handbasket's picture

Submitted by Helena.Handbasket on Mon, 08/11/2014 - 12:24pm

Yes I've thought about that. Inaction seems to be her way, so I think she will just stay with BM until BM gets tired of her and makes her move. In that scenario, she will tell dad at that time she needs to live with him.

If we are living together, I will tell him if he feel responsible for her, then get her an apt. Just not my problem.

I agree completely that I think that was the pretense, just go live with dad and I think school would have never happened. Her mom may make her apply to tech school though. She somehow made her get and keep a job.