Its really up to him. He can SAY you 'make' him do something, but unless you throw his stuff outside, or just completely ignore him, he makes his OWN decisions.

One thing I would say in this case is, 'if you want to leave, leave, you don't have to make up reasons to leave and try to blame me for it.' Make him take responsibility for his own decisions and not blame you for it.

He is being very hurtful but from what I read here I feel is casting about for 'reasons' to do something he wants to do anyway, so he can still appear the 'victim'. If he chooses to do this to you, he is not right for you anyway dear.
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"The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself." -
Will Rogers

Call him out. Tell him straight out if him WANTING to leave is the reason he is bullying and fighting so much, then he needs to admit it. She is your daughter and YOU make the decisions regarding her. He can support you, disengage or leave. If you know in your gut that he really wants to leave, then let him. You cant force someone to be with you. It'll only make you both miserable, and one day he will leave if thats what he wants.

"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"

I'm sorry you're going through this. It isn't about your daughter's dating practice; you already know this. You've received some great advice here already. I just wanted to add one more thing... what other decisions will he be allowed to make for YOUR daughter? FH and I are a united front in parenting but the final decision rests with me. And I WILL overrule him (not in front of the kid) if I feel strongly enough about something. Both parents need to be flexible with each other, too.

Your SO sounds like he's acting out his own stress and feelings of powerlessness on you. He needs a smack in the head with a wet trout. I say call his bluff. If he's going to be power-tripping with you and your kids, you're better off without him. At least if you call him on his bluster perhaps some real commmunication can take place.

I am really sorry that you are so sad. You have every right to be.
It sounds like your DH is taking a lot out on you and your daughter for a number of reasons. Even if his job stinks and his kid is on meds, that gives him zero excuse to THREATEN you with leaving.
I would never make a choice like that. That is a bit much about her only going bowling with a boy. Sounds a bot strick too? Is it a religous thing? What does your daughter say?

love isnt suppose to hurt, it is the one thing that should make you the happiest in the world.

I have to say , I am a BF in a home with a 15yr old step daughter myself , as a guy and an Adult I have mixed feelings about this subject .. First I have a problem with the whole "Dating " thing for 14 - 15 yr old's specially for the girls , " not to sound sexist " but as a guy first of all - at today's day an age like when we were kids , we all experiment with a bunch of things ,including sex , young guys want to see how many scores they can get during this youth time of there life and some never grow out of it .. As a Father like myself , we never want our Daughters doing the do , specially at such a young age ..
we as guys may associate the dating thing with sex and she's 14 , or as you put it 14 and a half LOL as it makes it sound like she's that much older .. she's still YOUNG to me ..

Second side of my point - If your DH is or you think he is just doing this behavior to get an out in his relationship with you , Then send him packing and save yourself from carrying him and his stupidity .. If you are a mature Adult and have trust in your decisions about your daughter & her " Dating " and your comfortable with it , then stand your grown and this way your daughter will follow by your example of standing up for yourself ..

Rich I agree. I am a Mother, grandmother and now step Mom & stepGrand.
It might seen innocent at 14 , But I can't tell you how many young girls are having "sex" . Even those who hang out in groups have sex. The friends , Watch out for them. I would bet if you took a score card, more then HALF of your childrens friends under 15 are in FACT having SEX!!

Just because their going bowling means NOTHING!! Kids are having sex on school buses, under staircases and in bathrooms at school even. THEIR going to do it, have Sex, whether WE like it or NOT! Unless you LOCK your child UP, they "could be doing it"
My friend Char, I saw her daughter at 14 have a little friend over, a boy also 14, at her house. I told Char I felt her daughter & her little boyfriend were in fact having sex. Char said , NO way, their always here, never go anywhere alone. We watch them like hawks.!!
Anyway to make a long story short. I kept telling Char, it's happening!!
I asked her to take the daughter(14) to the Dr's. she didn't.
About 6 weeks later, Char called me and said; I HATE YOU!!
I said why? She said you were RIGHT, Vicky (14) was 8 weeks pregnant!!
Both children 14( and BOTH were on disability, disabled) were having "SEX" at her house , out in the yard, under the bushes in the dark!!! And also in the swimming pool,with Mom & dad 20 ft away on the porch!! So kids do have SEX. I know we don't want to believe it. But I say "better safe then sorry" Many beleive if you put a child on Birth control it gives them the right to have sex. I say Their Going to have SEX whether we like it or NOT, at least be safe. Take your child to a Doctor, and get exams and PREVENT pregnancy .Also, Aids and HIV are far worse. MOST kids don't USE protection. It's a FACT!
Anyway, never say never!! Maybe your husband is really concerned. And as Rich stated: Boys will be boys, and look to score even as YOUNG at 12 yrs old.
As a counselor, I've seen children, YES, children, GIRLS as young as 9 years old... pregnant!!!

I also see men, Asking their YOUNG ( 12-16) sons if they "scored yet" On one hand, men, want their sons to SCORE, as many females as they can!!!!. But When it comes to their daughters "NO NO" ..as long as it's NOT their daughter, it's OK. Such double standards!
But they push the sex thing for the sons.
just like, our society thinks it's Ok for a male to have sex with as many as they can.
BUT , if a female does , she's deemed a slut or whore.!!

It's really terrible.