You might be opening a can of worms or starting a war if you do return it. (Not that you'd care....) Personally I would love to tell the ex...I like you and all..and I want to be "friendly" when I see you...but WE ARE NOT FRIENDS...and don't even waste your time or money on us.
Luckily, I am sure she got the message by the way my DH now acts around her. She has noticed since he's taken a wife, he is detaching a little more and obviously it's "my fault." Anyway, we got a wedding gift from her which I couldn't throw out cause it was a bible...but I sent a very nice thank you note...and shoved the bible under the bed. (I also couldn't donate the gift cause our names were engraved on it. A little too personal and intimate of a gift for me, thank you very much.) You are probably better off donating it. That's what I'd do.

and she tried giving him a gift, that he already had it and maybe someone else she knew could use it. Although when she sent the gift she also sent a note saying she just knew our son would love a gift from the other woman who will be in his life. HAHAHAHA, that BITCH has never and will never see MY bio-son.

IF IT WAS EASY, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT.

We got married on Dec. 22nd and she sent us a $20 gift card our first Christmas together from some store where her husband worked. (As it turns out, this was a regift... he had gotten it as a Christmas gift from his job.) It was a store we liked, so we used it with glee and told her thank you. She also sent a Christmas gift from her kids to our son. That was the last of the gift-giving. I told her that she didn't have to worry about getting us gifts from the kids, that we would take care of it, just like we help our kids get us gifts. It wasn't a big deal for either of us. She said she didn't mind, I said it was nice of her, but she didn't have to feel obligated. I told her that DH could help them get gifts for me and I would help them get gifts for him. She was fine with it. I don't think I would have a problem with it if she had continued to send gifts. I probably would've kept and used it if I liked it, re-gifted it or thrown it out if I didn't. I would've just seen it as an item purchased with the CS money we send every month, something bought with our money, anyway. This problem probably wouldn't have caused me any heartburn, but I think if it does bother you, you shouldn't feel obligated to KEEP the gifts. If you can dispose of it in such a way that the skids don't notice and aren't hurt by it, then do so. Suggest to her that you and DH be the ones to help the skid(s) purchase gifts for your family and maybe she'll stop. If she doesn't, then I say toss at will.

I'll probably go to hell for this, but I'd have burnt the bible in a big bonfire.

~ Anne ~

"Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other." -Walter Elliot

She even though her and I at the time were not really talking or on the best of terms she bought us a wedding gift, and always bought my kids things. We eventually worked thru all our turmoil and stuff and things were good. Personally I think its up to you as a mom, I would accept them and put them back for regifts as sad as that sounds but if there is nothing wrong with them or find someone less fortunate and give them to them.
Happy

" make sure you tell the people you love most EVERYDAY.. Its important not only for them to know but for you to tell.. Life is to short to be miserable..

In my situation I was the first to give a gift to BM and I know I would have been devestated if she had refused it. I was very young when I met DH (just turned 21) and when BM had a new baby a year later I was very excited for her b/c I love babies. I bought her new son a gift and had it delivered through SD. At the time it did not even occur to me that she might feel weird about that. Nothing was said and since then I have always given SD's brother and sister (by BM) a birthday present and a Christmas present. I don't know how she felt about it at first but recently when I had my own baby shower she gave me a very nice gift from her and SD. I would never give a gift to BM for herself but I think when it comes to kids, negative feelings should be left out (if possible.) You never know when you might be on better terms with BM and this will come back on you. Just my opinion, but the golden rule still applies to BMs.

And I truly think it was an effort to be nice. I told her when she handed it to me that she should not worry about gifts for me and buy for SS. She was not working at the time and was struggling. She occassionally picks stuff up for my girls when she is buying for SS too. Candy or whatever if she is bringing him over and stopped at the store on the way. I don't think she has any ill intentions. I bought her a birthday present this year that was from me. I don't know how to answer this one, I have not been in this situation. I think it varies from family to family on how to handle it.

Daddys Gurl-

Life is as sweet as you sweeten it.

Not sure what to think about the whole gift giving thing, but we have a horrid relationship with BM. She didn't even let SS call DH on Father's Day (we had to cancel because of his surgery). Since I don't have SS before DH's birthday, and if it isn't our weekend we only get him for the day, I hoped that DH would have gotten a card for SS to give to his daddy ... (last year was his first birthday with me). Anyway, SS had felt left out because we didn't to "cake and presents." So we had him the next weekend, I picked him up early from school we went shopping for a present, picked out a card, and picked up the cake. We made a special dinner for daddy's birthday. But I really was surprised that BM didn't have SS get daddy a BD Card. The first Mother's Day we were together we did have SS get BM a card, but that was it - she didn't recpriocate then either.

But here's the funny part, and now after reading the above, I see it's not so abnormal, but she gave us a wedding card when we got married. We thought it was just the weirdest thing, but a lot of you got gifts. I don't think I would have felt comfortable getting a gift from her - lord knows i was wondering what the card was all about anyway. She didn't even sign SS' name ... if she had done that I would have understood a bit more, but she only signed her name.

~ Katrina

We never really had to ever worry about this... we never got nor gave anything to each other, but I have a feeling because BM1 has gotten a 'new vision on life' that it's possible some tokens will start to show up... I don't want them. So, I imagine that they will just mysteriously disappear from the house... hmmm, I don't know what happened to them? That is very strange indeed, have you looked everywhere? They have to be around somewhere... (like the local dump...)

StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...