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Was bound to happen eventually...

Gabriels Mom's picture

Cuntalotapus reared her ugly head. She called DH and told him she wants to move to her dad's a hour and 15 mins away (on a good day) She of course wants to take SS13. DH said no and reminded her of the provision in their agreement that states that if either parent moves and it impacts the other parents time then custody reverts to that parent. She started throwing a fit and screaming that he tricked her into signing that paperwork and that she is his mother! The co-parenting counselor went over it with both DH and BM. It was signed (by the three of them)and then filed with the court and then signed by a judge. Not to mention she wanted that provision.

DH and I talked about it and I told him we'd fight it. I'm not worried about a big custody battle because BM has no money and ALWAYS settles out of court. It is 50.00 every time they have to go to the coparenting counselor and BM tries to limit those visits as well. DH asked me if I would think he's a bad person if he didn't fight it. He would just ask SS if he wants to go and if he said he wanted to move with BM then just let him go. (Why wouldn't he want to go there? It's fun there and BM lets him do whatever he wants) He said that he hates that he feels this way but he's tired of fighting a losing battle. We'd just move forward with our lives and we could see him EOWE or just holidays/summer break if we decide to move out of state. I mean why stay here if we don't want to be here when the only reason we moved here was for him?

I know it was a moment of weakness and my heart breaks for him. We won't just move on with our lives...DH will be devastated and not to be selfish so will MY son, who just worships SS.

I just don't know what to advise him to do. IF she tries to take it to court I don't know that we'll win.

The two things that tick me off the most are that DH's family could really use some help with FIL and DH's Gran. They are both extremely ill but we don't because BM would NEVER just let us leave with him and we don't really think the court would let us move with SS. but she thinks it's okay to move to her dad's and separate SS from DH because her DADDEEEEEE needs help with his business. AND that her stupid decisions affect our lives so much. Not just DH and SS but DS and myself as well.


Gabriels Mom's picture

They have a 2/2/5 schedule. She has every monday and tuesday and DH has every wednesday and thursday and they alternate having him friday, saturday and sunday. No CS is exchanged. DH covers insurance, school fees, clothes/shoes (She might buy him clothes and shoes but I've never seen it), cell phone etc. Honestly, other than food and a roof over his head when he's at her house I don't know that she provides anything else.

No saint's picture

Meaning that moving farther is not in the childs best interest and that said, I would fight it in court, if you're willing. Of course that will meen she'll have to pay you CS, which she won't be willing, so you're in for a nasty time.
Wish you all the best.

Gabriels Mom's picture

He doesn't hate DH. But he does have it "easier" at BMs. No one is really home except her DH in the evenings, no one there to make him do anything, no siblings to deal with. He just does whatever he wants. At our house there are rules and chores and *GASP* sharing of video game systems and DH's time. Perfect example, yesterday SS just walked out of the house and down the driveway, I was making dinner and I asked DH where SS was going and since SS hadn't said anything to anyone DH had to chase him down and make him come back. He thinks he's an adult and he can do whatever. We don't treat him like a baby but in our house but WE are the parents HE is a child. We're not his friends or his equal like at BMs.

I told DH I think we should fight it. Because if DH had said "My dad is very ill and we are moving away and taking SS" she would damn sure enforce the order.

Gabriels Mom's picture

I don't know that DH will want to stay in this state if he isn't going to see SS very much. That is literally the only reason we live here. I don't know that BM will try to lie about abuse. She already tried that and it didn't turn out too well for her...No CPS investigation but the judge went ballistic.

Ruthless's picture

I'm sorry I haven't read your back story, but that sounds like heaven to me! BM and SS moving away? All my dreams would come true.