So my wife in discussing the latest antics of my SD (taking the rap for somebody else and saying it was her weed) asked me to trust her and let her deal with my SD and I can just focus on other things so I'm not stressed out all the time. The problem is that the SD living with us is the youngest and has always been babied. Mom has always been there to help get her out of whatever mess she was in. Since we've been together, we have done more for my youngest SD than we have for the other 3 combined. She has always had my wife wrapped around her finger according to the other stepkids. I can guarantee you that if the other SD's messed up as much as this one has, she would've been kicked out. We have bent over backwards accomodating her (and her son's) wants and needs, and much to the detriment of our marriage. There was honestly a point a few months ago where I actually started wondering if our marriage was going to last.

My wife now says that she realizes that she has been neglecting me and our relationship ever since they moved in with us. She promises that she is going to show me that our marriage is no longer going to come second anymore and she is going to start putting her foot down with our SD. She wants me to trust her that she will handle things right from now on. The problem with that is....it just sounds like more of the same to me. She has never really enforced any consequences before with the youngest SD, and according to the other SD's it's always been like this, so why should I believe that all of sudden she is going to change. There have also been times where my wife has not told me things that she finds out about the SD because of how I would've reacted. Like when she got in her car to go to work one morning it smelled like weed in the car. Maybe the thought of losing our marriage will do it, but I don't know. I want to trust her to handle things properly but....sometimes the past is a good indication of the future....