I've come to terms
Lately, custody, child support and step kids are weighing on me so heavily. I go back and forth about fighting for our SD and just letting her live with her mom. But I guess I've realized that at the end of the day, my SO and I are very happy. He had a kid very young, and never really had a chance to grow up. Having SD every weekend like we did before caused a lot of stress and tension in our relationship. We now have SD on Spring, Christmas and all of Summer breaks...it is so much better, for everyone involved. We still talk to her all the time, and she has no doubt in her mind that we are there for her at any time of day. But with her new life in GA it's steady, consistent and stable. She has a great step dad and a good house and room to call her own. She has the same at our place.
Her BM has chosen to have 2 kids with 2 dads, and is now on her 3rd...therefore, her children are all she has. My SO and I are still attending college, trying to figure our life out and make a good life for ourselves.
I have discovered that my anxiety and tension come from trying to prove myself as a better person to her mom, rather than just trying to be the SM I can be to SD.
With BM in GA, SO and I can enjoy SD more and have BM drama less. No more child support, fighting over homework and no more who has her red shirt.
All in all, it's more peaceful. And I think that if a kid can go to bed every night and feel completely loved by their BD, BM, SM & SD, it's really the best it can ever be.