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I've come to terms

etyler's picture

Lately, custody, child support and step kids are weighing on me so heavily. I go back and forth about fighting for our SD and just letting her live with her mom. But I guess I've realized that at the end of the day, my SO and I are very happy. He had a kid very young, and never really had a chance to grow up. Having SD every weekend like we did before caused a lot of stress and tension in our relationship. We now have SD on Spring, Christmas and all of Summer is so much better, for everyone involved. We still talk to her all the time, and she has no doubt in her mind that we are there for her at any time of day. But with her new life in GA it's steady, consistent and stable. She has a great step dad and a good house and room to call her own. She has the same at our place.

Her BM has chosen to have 2 kids with 2 dads, and is now on her 3rd...therefore, her children are all she has. My SO and I are still attending college, trying to figure our life out and make a good life for ourselves.

I have discovered that my anxiety and tension come from trying to prove myself as a better person to her mom, rather than just trying to be the SM I can be to SD.

With BM in GA, SO and I can enjoy SD more and have BM drama less. No more child support, fighting over homework and no more who has her red shirt.

All in all, it's more peaceful. And I think that if a kid can go to bed every night and feel completely loved by their BD, BM, SM & SD, it's really the best it can ever be.


happymostly's picture

i like this outlook Smile unfortunately for my sd's situation, her home life with bm isnt really all that stable Sad But I try not to focus on that and just enjoy her when she is here, which is EOWE. I also like what Proud Arrow said why cant she just let us be happy? bm is always trying to harp on dh for $$ for this or that and guilt trip him. Just let us be. We arent up your ass on how you choose to move around all the time and pull sd out of schools (even though dh doesnt like it of course) Ugh. I just try to be happy with my life though and try not to worry about what stupid bm is up to, as long as she isnt neglecting sd (which she's not, she just is stupid and cant stay in one place for more than 6 months) then its okay.

etyler's picture

Thanks. Smile It felt really good to get it out. I'm sure that that the BM is only trying get back custody in an attempt to prove herself as better than you, but kids all grow up and make their own choices and decisions. Love is more important than good clothes. I'm sorry that neither of you are left alone. BM still tries to harp in on our life sometimes, but since we agreed to let her move to GA, she is happier, which means everyone else is happier too. Hopefully you're situations iron themselves out