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OT: When am I going to learn?

Elizabeth's picture

That when my husband calls to "talk to me" about something, he doesn't actually want my opinion, he just wants me to validate his?

Dh called to say he was thinking about buying BD11 a vanity for her room so she has someplace to put all her makeup. Never mind that I think she's too worried about her appearance as it is, I just said, "Well, her room is pretty packed, I'm not sure there's room for it." He said, "Yeah, I'm thinking I'd either move out her desk or her bookcase." I told him no, as moving them out just means putting them in the garage and every nice thing we have that is stored in the garage he ruins. He piles boxes on top of things marked "fragile," puts leaky oil cans on nice furniture, etc.

Of course he got mad that he even called me to discuss this and then he hung up. Whatever buddy.

Comments

Elizabeth's picture

Exactly! Daddy bought her mascara when she was 10! I have fought that battle and decided as long as she keeps it to mascara and neutral eye shadow, I'll let it go.

Elizabeth's picture

I spend a lot of time telling this kid that what's on the inside is more important, she'll spend 60 minutes in the morning getting ready for school and meantime she's getting D's and C's in school. This is why I think the desk and bookcase are more important. She's not going to get through life on her looks Smile

Ninji's picture

I was allowed to wear eye shadow and lip gloss at 10. Not allowed to be outside or go to school with it on. I purchased my SDthen10 an cute eye shadow kit for Christmas. She has yet to open it. Smile

Glassslipper's picture

I have one ultra girly, now 13, she has had makeup since she was 10 BUT that was because she is a competitive dancer, and I stored it in her dancer box, which was stored in her room. Yes, she has compact, mascara, eye liner, fake eyelashes, blush, the works...She did not play with it or try to wear it outside of competitions.

The school DOES NOT! allow girls to wear make up till middle school (7th grade)
They are told to wash it off if caught at school with it!

My SD is 9, she only owns lip gloss, and is not interested in makeup. She is more tomboy than girly.

Ruby55's picture

Jeez, I didn't wear makup till high school and even then, barely any. I think 11 is way to young in my opinion. Seems weird that a dad is ok with this? Good luck,

Glassslipper's picture

LMAO ^^^ I didn't wear make up (except if I was standing up in a wedding or for prom)
till I was 24 years old! lol
I had to take a tutorial class to apply it onto my DD at dance competitions because I had NO idea what a smokey eye was!
LMAO!

AllySkoo's picture

Lol Well, I think saying that having a vanity in her room will make her a whore and result in a teen pregnancy might be a slight exaggeration. Wink

I think the issue here isn't so much what furniture is (or is not) in SD's room - it's what you said, that your DH doesn't respect the furniture (or what you paid for it) enough to treat it well. How about selling whatever it is that he wants to move out? Would that be an option? Not sure if you paid for any of the furniture - if so, you definitely have a say in what happens to it at this point. And telling your DH that you don't want him to ruin (another) piece of good furniture is totally reasonable. Unfortunately, while the fact that he doesn't respect your opinion if it differs from his is a problem, I'm not sure how you solve that. Sad

Elizabeth's picture

Thanks AllySkoo, both pieces have sentimental value. My father made BD11 the bookcase when she was about 1, modeled after one in the Pottery Barn catalog, it's adorable and it comes in really handy to store all her stuff. And the desk is a desk and hutch combo that my dad and I stripped and repaired and refinished (was discarded at the end of someone's driveway). They are part of her bedroom set, all "mix and match" pieces but all customized to match in finish and color (desk, bed, dresser, bookcase, nightstand). We worked hard on that stuff!

Elizabeth's picture

She has a full-length mirror in her room, as well as a dresser with a mirror attached to the top that she could use for a vanity

AllySkoo's picture

Your DH is just being ridiculous. "Let's buy some furniture we don't actually need and that we don't have room for! I can take some other furniture out and trash it!" Uh... gee honey. Great idea. *eye roll* Hopefully he'll drop it, even if he was pissy about it.

Elizabeth's picture

Oh, he's been obsessed with buying furniture lately for some reason, even though we live in a small house that is packed to the gills. He doesn't take care of what we do have, and many of them are antique or custom pieces. He has a friend moving out of state, and he wants to go look at their furniture and maybe buy some of it. I said, "Where are we going to put it?" He had no idea.

BD11's bedroom: Bed, dresser, desk, bookcase, nightstand
BD8's bedroom: Bed, armoire, desk, bookcase/toybox, nightstand
Our bedroom: Bed, two dressers, nightstand, hope chest, desk, bench
Living room: Dual recliner couch, three side chairs, coffee table, two side tables, two bookcases, entertainment center
Kitchen/dining room: Table and four chairs, buffet, two barstools at island

We're good!

thinkthrice's picture

Guess H wants BDs to follow SD's slut-tastic life. (sigh)

Not really surprising though given H's past track record.