OT: This IS lying, right?
DH is a chronic liar, and it's stupid and annoying.
Today's example:
DH bought BD11 an expensive pair of jeans. He knows I don't approve of this as 1. I don't want the kids using clothing as a status symbol and 2. It seems silly to spend a ton of money on something when I could buy three or four of a less-name-brand item for the same price.
So I asked DH about it:
DH: They only cost $30 no shipping
Then BD11 tells me they cost $37. This is a constant thing for DH. He constantly underreports how much he spent on something. If it was 29.99, I get "Only $20."
So immediately after speaking with BD11, who got that amount directly from DH's mouth not 60 seconds before, I asked DH again:
Me: How much did you pay for those jeans?
DH: $30 plus shipping
Me: No, you said you didn't pay shipping
DH: $30-something
Me: Tell me the exact number.
DH: I'm not sure.
Me: Oh, you know, you told BD11.
DH: OK, $37.
Me: Why didn't you tell me that the first time?
DH: I didn't know the exact amount. I had to check my phone.
Me: But you did know it. Why lie to me about it.
DH: (huffing, massive eye roll, pouting like a child at being called out)
Grrrrr. Is this not lying? When you know how much an item cost and your wife asks and you flat-out tell her a different number and you're not sure and blah blah blah. WHY lie about stupid petty stuff?
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Comments
My DH does this. #1 I dont
My DH does this.
#1 I dont think they really THINK about stuff. They will just give an answer to get us off their backs.
You ask how much the jeans are. DH can already tell you are going to be mad about it or have something to say about it. (Can sense it in your tone, non verbal language, etc) so he just says something to get you to shut up and hopefully move on from it.
Men dont like to dwell on stuff. Good or bad.
So he was hoping $30 would suffice and you would move on.
I get what you're saying.
I get what you're saying. However, I never said a thing about those jeans. BD11 showed them to me, I asked DH if he bought them for her, he responded with a yes and the price ($30). I never said another word until BD11 told me he told her they cost $37.
It drives me crazy. His
It drives me crazy. His response is either that it's NOT a lie or that he didn't MEAN to lie to me.
But if you had JUST told
But if you had JUST told someone else the exact price and your spouse asked you the price, wouldn't you tell them the real number? And yes, he knows I don't agree with paying that much money for jeans, he used to do it all the time with SD and we fought about that.
Yes it is lying. My DH does
Yes it is lying. My DH does this all the time with how long it takes to get somewhere. If he wants to go somewhere really badly, it's "only 30 mins away" when it's really 45. Or the beach is "only 4 hours away" when it's really 5.
Because he has no balls. He
Because he has no balls. He knows you are going to pissed that he bought the jeans and he'd rather lie than tell the truth and have you crab.
Same crap he does with your SD. He either flat out "forget" to tell you all together, or fudges the truth.
My FDH does this too. He
My FDH does this too. He 'bends the truth' when it's convenient. I find it annoying.
Yesterday:
"Do you want to give BS7mos his bath?" (He's actually never given him a bath, ever.)
"No, bath time scares me."
"That's a bullshit line. You're not scared, you just don't want to."
"Sorry."
"Don't lie to me, it's not nice."
Now, I don't really care about the bath time. It's fun and I like doing it with my baby. I thought FDH might like to since he wasn't doing anything. He's lazy and he'd rather watch TV. After the bath I went to clean up dinner and FDH was playing with BS on the floor. I could smell that he'd pooped, so I picked him up to change him.
"Do you save the poops for me? If he poops and you don't want to do it, just let me know. I'd rather he didn't sit in it."
He claims he can't smell it. Well maybe. But then he said "This is probably why SD8 always had terrible diaper rash..."
Yep, probably. Lazy parenting hurts your kids. Lying hurts your relationship.
But I told him both of those things and these two interactions were totally positive and pleasant. I don't know. Maybe he knows he's lazy and lying and doesn't care, or maybe he's really paying attention. I know he's trying to do better with things I point out, I honestly think he doesn't see a lot of things as a problem.
I've done a few bathtimes
I've done a few bathtimes with FDH observing, but our bathroom is way too small for two grown ups to be sitting in there. I honestly don't mind if he doesn't want to do bath time. He bonds with our son in other ways. I just object to him lying, you know?
And yes, the poop thing is a pretty constant thing with him. Sometimes I'll ask him to change one and he finds something else to do! But I also do believe that he doesn't smell it, because I've told him over and over that I'll do it if he doesn't want to. I'm not working right now, so I think a lot of the gross/boring/painful/time consuming stuff with BS really is my responsibility; he works all day so I make sure they get playtime. (I don't think he realizes that bath time is secretly playtime + water, but that's his loss!)
No, the pants were for our
No, the pants were for our BD11. What I meant was that when SD was younger, if she saw something and she wanted it, she HAD to have it and DH would ALWAYS buy it for her. So, this is at least 12 years ago, he bought SD then age 9 a pair of jeans that cost (back then) $40. At an annual 2% rate of inflation that would be more than $50 now. I tried to convince him to wait until they went on sale. He refused. SD wore them one time, then took them to her mom's and we never saw them again. Another time she saw a dress she HAD to have for Easter. This was more like 15 years ago. It cost $65 (about $80 now). Of course he bought it. NOTHING was too good for SD (and things haven't changed much since them).
Yes, it was a lie. However
Yes, it was a lie. However you should be thankful the jeans were only $37
Before we cut SD off financially, her jeans were $110 a pair plus tax. (Well so are mine but we're not talking about me. Lol)
I think he does this because
I think he does this because you won't get out of his ass. Geez.
My husband always reports the
My husband always reports the wrong price of something but I don't think he's lying on purpose, I think he's just stupid. If the price is $29.99, all he sees is the 2 so he reports it as $20.00. He totally plays into what the price setters want to achieve.