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Dropping the ball

ej'scrazy's picture

I was reading up on an issue that DH and I are continuing to experience. Life is full of responsibilities. As kids, people try and teach their kids to deal with responsibilities (at least, those parents who truly parent.) As kids, when you mess up, your parents should be there to redirect you and encourage you (positive reinforcement) and motivate you (consequences) when needed.

But what about when you are an adult? We are having some major issues with BM and her lack of effort. I realize they are divorced, and there's no obligation to DH. I wish she would realize that too (but that's another blog). She claims she WANTS to do X, Y, and Z. When left to do X, Y, and Z, DH's phone gets blown up, demanding information "he" should have given, putting the kids in the middle, complaining about what Y requires, or it simply doesn't get done and it falls back in our laps to deal with when the kids return.

DH doesn't care about BM. If it didn't affect the kids, DH would say screw it. How do you deal with the fall out from similar situation? How did you build up your apathy?


ej'scrazy's picture

She is a GU to a tee! We are trying to work on parallel parenting, but it is in it's baby-stage.

ej'scrazy's picture

Thank you! I will look into that book. She has asked repeatedly for verbal communication ONLY and DH refuses. There was way too much confusion in the beginning because she would say he never told her something that he had told her directly.

I have spoken to DH many times about boundaries. We have had a discussion about what appropriate boundaries are, and are working on establishing them (long after they should have been).