Is it worth it?
I’ve written before about how the kids live about an hour away. SO doesn’t really call that much because it just doesn’t go that well. The little one is really too young to care about the phone and the oldest seems uncomfortable. This goes both ways. If BM calls our place the kids act the same so I’m not trying to blame her.
Now what I can blame her for is the fact that she refuses to give my partner extra time with the kids. I’ve written about that before. She works all weekend so on the weekends we don’t have them they stay with her dads.
Her father has said in the past it’s hard for him to watch them so much but he won’t go against her. I’m pretty sure she pulls the same crap with him that she does with my partner. Either do what she wants or you don’t see the kids.
It’s so bad that we can’t even take them out for lunch or to the park if we’re in town like yesterday. We’ll stop by grandpa’s for a bit to see the kids but of course we can’t leave. I’m really not sure if we should keep doing it though. For one SO gets so depressed afterwards. It’s the same as when the kids leave after our weekends but we only get to see them for about an hour max so I don’t know.
Then I’m not sure what the kids think. The little one doesn’t seem to care. He came and sat on the couch with us but played his tablet the whole time and didn’t really interact as he has always done in the past. The oldest seems to drop everything when we show up. She practically warps herself around both of us and won’t do anything else while we are there so I know she likes us stopping by but I also hate that we can’t go anywhere and I wonder how she handles it after we leave.
I don’t know if it’s worth the emotional pain it causes my partner. I don’t know if we should ask the oldest if she likes us visiting or if it bothers her more. She’s asked in the past if we were there to take her to our place which really hurt me. How do you explain to an 8 year old that you would love to but mom won’t let you?
I also don’t exactly want to just stop because we plan fight for 50/50 custody in the next year or so after we can move into the same school district. Despite the latest issues we’ve had its still our hope to move and we might be able to as early as the start of the next school year. I think it would help his case if we can show that he has attempted to play a more active role in the children’s life while BM has done all she can to prevent that.