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ExArmydad's picture

Hey Guys,

So I’m finally a true member of the step-parent club and I want to know where I have to go to get my medal? My SD9 told me over the weekend that she doesn’t think she should have to do what I tell her because I’m not her, WAIT FOR IT…”Real Dad”… lmfao!!!!!!

WTF is wrong with these kids? They’re all the same, I don’t get it. Good news is, well actually it's great news, when I told DW, she came home and took SD out for a car ride and informed her how WE won’t stand for her BS and lit her up pretty good. Gotta love it when your spouse is on your team.

I still can’t grasp effing kids! Seriously baffled at this point.

ExArmydad's picture

Ain't that right, ha lol. Yea she's a real winner!

Well I told her that she won't be getting anything else from me for a long time. I'm not her daddy, that's fine, but where is your dad and what has he ever done for you? That's right, nothing! I pay half if not more for everything you have and I'm not scared to take it away and give it to a kid who'll appreciate it. Same day asked me to help her make some Valentines Day surprise cake for her mom. I said no, why should I do anything for you? I already do enough and get shit on for it.

All I every asked of her is to follow directions, be respectful, use manners and just be a over-all good kid. The exact same thing I expect from my own daughters.

Stepped in what momma's picture

The next time she wants her to drive her someplace or buy her something if would be a good time to reminder her you are not "her real dad".

ExArmydad's picture

Oh I hear ya and I actually did, the same day she asked me to help her buy and make Valentines Day surprise cake for her mom. I said no, why should I do anything for you? I already do enough and get shit on for it.

ExArmydad's picture

You're right and I have started disengaging since Saturday when she laid it on me. I told her flat out, I don't owe you anything but food on the table, clothes on your back and a roof over your head. The rest is done and over until she pulls her head out of her ass. With that said, she still has her chores and other responsibilities but I've stepped back and point them out to her mother so she can deal with her. Funny thing is, her mom is harder on her than me, you'd think that she'd go with gasoline over napalm. ha

LikeMinded's picture


Welcome to the club. You could also say: "you're teacher is not your dad either, but at school you have to do what she says because she's the grown up in charge. In this house I'm the grownup in charge."

ExArmydad's picture

Oh I hear ya, I've stated everything under the sun but in the end, I close with "It's my house, you're a child and you'll do what I say regardless if you like it or not."

cinnamon1973's picture

Hi there:

My daughter, age 5, says the same thing sometimes to DH - "You're not my daddy!" You may be hearing that because your SD feels conflicted in her loyalties and is testing the waters to see where everyone thinks her loyalty SHOULD lie. And if her dad is still in the picture at all, he may be encouraging it by telling her that you aren't really her dad. I would just tell her that until she starts paying the mortgage around there, she'll do as the adults in the household tell her, regardless of biological relationship.

Rags's picture

Don't waste you time trying to "get" the kids. Kids do what they are told when they are told or they suffer the consequences of their choice not to do what they are told. Set behavioral standards and expectations in your home, enforce those standards, and apply consequences for deviation.

The great thing is that you and your DW are equity life partners and equity parents to any children in your marrital home regardless of kid biology. My bride of nearly 22 years and I adopted this philosophy with my SS-23 and he turned out fine. To the point that last April he asked for me to adopt him. So, we made that happen.

The SKid tows the line or the Skid suffers the consequences of the choices she makes. Be consistent.

Congrats on the nuptials.

All IMHO of course.