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Making things happen

Decieved's picture

Told DH last night that I was handling the loan issue myself. Text SD this morning telling her I want to meet personally next week to discuss with her - alone - in a public setting. Neutral territory. I can almost guess her response. But can guarantee that DH will get a phone call from her first.


Decieved's picture

DH will know all of the details, because if this meeting takes place (she has not replied yet), SD will call Daddy the minute it's over. But the advise to ask him to simply tell her that he wants to know nothing because its between she and I is good advice. If and when the meeting is in place, I will certainly have a talk with DH to remind him that this is between SD and I.

The bank lobby suggestion Biggrin - Perfect! She has already told DH that she has tried to get a loan in the past and can't. I don't believe that for a second. She has been in business three years, and has traveled the World on her "retreats" - she claims that her clients pay her way (she does training at these retreats).

Forget the loan? Not an option for me. Its way too much money to simply walk away from. I could send two of my grandkids to college with that money. Sad but true. I have certainly learned my lesson with this one.

Decieved's picture

Hi BlendedFam.

I am not sure. I spoke with him a while ago and he gave no indication that she had called. She sometimes works odd hours so we will wait to see what happens. Smile

Decieved's picture

HA! I KNEW she would call DH. He told me last night that she called in right after I asked her to meet with me and asked what should she do? He says he told her to meet with me and discuss it like an adult (I am very sure DH did not use those words!) She told him she does NOT have the full amount to pay me back and he again told her to meet me and try to work it out by perhaps offering to pay what she can. She also said he cut her off abruptly because he was very busy at work at the time.
I think MAYBE I am making some headway on this loan issue. Smile

Decieved's picture

Had a huge argument with DH this weekend over SD. She called him AGAIN and worked out an "agreement" to repay MY loan at 1/3 of the agreed upon monthly payments. I have told him to back off and let me handle it. He had no right to agree to anything. Today I emailed her (she won't answer my calls" and set her straight. She owes ME, will negotiate only with ME and will leave her Dad out of it. She can "negotiate" all she wants with him but it means diddlysquat to me. We have a business deal - period. I have listed her options - get a loan, if she is turned down (which she alleges) I want documentation from the bank. If she honestly cannot get a loan, she will talk with ME, and ME only. If she is mature enough to talk with me instead of coming up with lame excuses about why she shouldn't pay me back, I am willing to work with her to reasonably reduce her payments if necessary. If she refuses to work with me, she leaves me with only one choice - sue. I am so tired of her BS. Its time she grows up.

God it felt good to get that out. Smile I am sure DaddyDear will be getting a call from her tonight, and I hope he has finally gotten the message to simply say - talk to your SM.

Decieved's picture

OMG :jawdrop: SD actually responded , I can't believe it. Received a long email full of apologies for her behavoir, but blaming it on her parents divorce. Professed her love and respect for me saying she blamed me for everything when she knows its not my fault. Long winded blah blah blah, her life didn't turn out the way she wanted it to "because of the divorce". I REALLY got the point when I noticed the she copied Daddy Dear on the email -- just another guilt trip placed on him. There was NOTHING about being sorry she hasn't paid me back a dime, or that she intends to pay me. Saw right through that. More damn minipulation. She will never change. But I won't allow her to ignore her responsibility to me.

stepmasochist's picture

her life didn't turn out the way she wanted it to "because of the divorce"


I hate that lame ass crap. Tell her to sing that shite to Oprah or whoever it is these days that listens to it. Good for you for keeping after her. Keep us posted.

JJO's picture

I like your determination.
Keep us posted.I want to know how this is going to turn out.

Rags's picture

Nail her defaulting ass to the wall!!!! And have fun doing it!!!!! }:)

It would be one thing if she handled her agreement with you in a professional, adult manner.

Her crap of brining her dad in to it and ranting about how evil her SM is is pure juvenile crap.

Good luck and update us on the meeting.

I can't wait to hear what crap she tries to pull.

Best regards,