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Have I mentioned that skids are overrated? :(

So_Annoyed's picture

My last two posts were mostly about SD14 being rude and just a mopey, bitchy teenager for the most part.

Her teen angst, to put it nicely, has morphed into pure shit attitude. But, I have stepped back and not confronted her over it, and now SO is all over her. Finally, yes.

A couple days ago I got home from work, went into the house and was getting ready to wash one of the dogs, he had rolled in mud during the rain. I had purposely put the gate up to keep them out of the LR while at work, but low and behold it had been taken down by, you guessed it, SD14, before she left for school that AM. So there was mud in the LR. I go into the garage to get some raggy towels to dry the dog, and the side door to the garage is wide open, and the house door to the garage is ajar, So I close and lock both. I go to SD's room to ask her WTH is going on, and she isn't home. So FF to after I get the dog cleaned up. I come out of our bedroom and I see SD is home now.
So I asked her, did you take the dog gate down?
her - yes
me - why? I had it up to keep the dogs out of the rest of the house.
her - oh.
me - again, why??
her - I thought dad put it up so they wouldn't wake me up this morning.
me - do we ever put it up for that reason, so the dogs don't wake you?
her - no.
me - Well there is mud in the LR, all over the floors in the house, and who knows where else I haven't checked yet. Get a rag and clean it up, please. And in the future, DO NOT move the gate unless you ask one of us first.
her - mumbles something.

I didn't say another word to her. I then texted SO and told him everything. He then called me on his way home and we discussed it. He asked if I said anything to her, I told him I did. He said, well then she knows and wont do it again. And as much as I wanted to go off on her, I kept my mouth shut. When he got home, he asked her the same and then told her DO NOT touch the gate. If it's up, leave it where it is. Next time not only will you have to wipe up the mud, you will have to mop the entire house and clean the carpets.

So my tactic of letting him handle it worked well.

Then yesterday. I texted SD14 (and included SO, so there is no way she can ignore me and it's guaranteed to be brought in) to tell her to bring in my package that was delivered.
I get no response. 1.5 hours later, I texted again and said "a response that you got this and brought it in would be appreciated.)
Still nothing. SO then texts her and asks if she got the text. (IMO he's giving her an out here, and I told him as much). An hour goes by and she finally answered, "I got it". Then, "I was doing homework". I laughed my ass off at that. :O Yeah right, she has her phone glued to her hand at all times.
Then she asks, "which one". SO says, "about getting the package and mail". Her last response was "yes."
Nowhere did she answer me, did she confirm that she got the box and mail, nothing. GRRRR.

Needless to say I was getting pissed and ready to let her have it. BUT, I didn't say a word. I didn't say anything further to SO, and when I got home I didn't say a word to SD. But, then it happened - I could hear SD in her room talking on her phone, SO had called her on his way home and he let her have it. I could hear him ripping her a new one, she would try to make an excuse and he'd stop her, Over and over. Her attitude even with him was really crappy, and he called her on that too. She got in trouble for something else also, but I couldn't hear what it was. No matter, as long as he is dealing with her and her teen BS, I'm good with it.

And she apologized for not answering my request with at least an "ok", and for the dog gate fiasco. I know it's only because he made her do it, but I'll take it at this point. She's 14, her attitude and mopiness are what she is right now. SO handles things differently than I do, esp with raising kids, but as long as he is handling it and not looking the other way, I feel a ton of relief.

Until next time Dirol

Comments

So_Annoyed's picture

Yes, exactly, everything you said. That's how I am handling this going forward. You get what you give, and I am set on ignore, ignore, ignore. SO can deal with her crap attitude from now on. So glad someone knows what I am talking about Smile

CLove's picture

SoAnnoyed, I feel you. I have disengaged with SD17, to the point of "Sweetheart, can you ask Princess Snowflake if she can please wash her dishes/put her stuff away/turn down her music during our movie night?" Works like a freaking charm. She can whine/cry/scream/screech at him and NOT me. NOT anymore. There will come a time when I will ask this of her, when she turns 18 and demands to stay with us full time instead of 50/50. I might bring things up then, might not. Its certainly not worth the blatant disrespect and disregard I see her giving her father and mother, as well as mothers live-in boyfriend, actually.

I also stopped texting SD17 when she stopped responding. I would text her fun photos of her precious dog she never took car of or spent time with, and nice things, like "hope you feel better soon!", but ever since we had a disagreement and she texted me a screen capture of the name she has for my contact, I tend to block her when she is angry with me, and generally don't even pick up her calls.

The crap teenage attitude seems to be accepted as normal by society in general, I just wonder why? I mean why does it HAVE to be considered NORMAL?

So_Annoyed's picture

Completely agree, and I don't understand why it's ok for these teens to get away with acting like this? I didnt' let my son and I'm sure not dealing with someone else's kid being this way. SO can have fun with this one.

I did the same with sending her funny pics and whatnot, and NO RESPONSE. I'm sure she was having a grand time with her friends and calling me all kinds of names. Whatever, she is no reflection on me whatsoever.

So_Annoyed's picture

I left out a big chunk.

When I realized the garage doors were open and unlocked, went to her room and she wasn't home, I locked the front door so I could take care of the dog. In the meantime, she had come in and gone in her room. When I asked her why one door was open, and the other unlocked, she said "I was in the backyard, talking to a friend over the back fence."
Now, it had been pouring rain all day, our backyard is basically all mud now, very little grass. And she's in the mud, in the rain, talking to someone over the fence? AND she somehow has her key with her to get back in? Yeah, I smell a big fat liar here.

I have no idea where she was, and don't care. It's too bad she had her key, I locked the door and would've left her out there til SO came home after the crap she's pulled on me. Again, SO can deal with her shit attitude and lies.

hereiam's picture

I had to laugh at your title. I have never heard of them being rated very high so I did not have high expectations. I must admit, my SD was not very bratty (she's actually worse now, at 25).

Your SD is truly a brat.

So_Annoyed's picture

Oh man, of course he "chooses to trust", to believe what she tells him. She is a master manipulator and he is gullible usually.
I get it, it's his own kid and all that. It's easier for me to see it, maybe. I on the other hand don't believe much out of SD14s mouth anymore, as she usually is lying, and will boldly lie right to my face. She thinks I don't know her, but I have her number.

I called BS21 on things all the time, I am not gonna look the other way so they can pull something off. Forget it.

The parents who choose to believe their angels aren't up to anything, have fun with that.

Acratopotes's picture

we might be having the same SD... }:) }:) but I'm not bothered at all... I stopped asking anything lol... and I blocked her number thus is SO is not in town and miss Aergia needs something she text SO, he will text me...

I simply ignore it and ask him how's the weather...