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SS almost 11 and his irresponsibility

sweetthing's picture

Just for thos that don't know my situation, I am not someone who vents about the kids or hates them. I have a great relationship with them & love them, however the youngest who will be 11 next month is a challange. Since BS almost 4 was born we have had multiple incidents where he has almost harmed his brother. When BS was a new born there were multiple times where he has almost kicked him in the head while screwing around in the house after repeatedly being told not to. He is basically a good kid, extreemly smart, straight A student but has difficulty staying on task, keeping his hands to himself ect... when he is in a store he often does this thing where he is like tap dancing or dancing a jig. I have said ADHD for years but when DH brings that up to BM she freaks & says no because he gets good grades & that is where it ends.

We have 2 mini wiener dogs and a yard that is fenced in. We go in & out of our gate all the time. The rule is and has been for 5 years that because of the dogs the gate is shut immediatly after you go out it. One of the dogs is a runner & we live 3 blocks from the freeway. To add to my story last wee I watched thRabbit hole where a couple's 4 y/o son is killed by a car infront of their house when the dog gets out & the boy chases into the street. The child had the same name as my son & almost the same age. One of my biggest fears is losing my child, I was told I would never have one on my own & he is rather a miracle.

So last weekend with us SS left the gate open while helping his dad in the driveway, luckily the dogs were caught immediately. Yesterday the kids went outside to play in the driveway with their bikes before we actually went to the park & SS left the gate open again, dog ran & both the big kids just stood there, BS 3 1/2 went running after her out to the street. I go running out there & yell to the 2 big boys to get after that dog & get BS back in the yard & into the house with his dad. The kids & I chased the dog through people's yards, but only because I kept yelling at them to. By the way this is the family dog, not just mine. I ended up getting the car going over a block & while kids & some other kids chased her, opened my car door & then she finally ran to me.

Here is the bad part, I was so pi$$ed while we were chasing her & the kids were dragging their feet I yelled at SS that if the dog was killed it was his fault because he couldn't remember to shut the fing gate. When we got back home I never said another word to him & he sat & cried in the garage. DH had him come in & talked with him ( I was told to leave the room )who knows what was said. I did apologize later myself because I felt bad that I said it, BUT it is the truth & worse yet it could have been his brother that was killed. I am just so sick & tired of the fact that this kid just can't remember basic things yet can get good grades & repeat blow by blow a video game he played.

I had a huge talk with BS 3 1/2 & drilled into him the dangers of chasing the dog into the street. Sad thing is that BS knows that the gate should be shut.