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Please allow me to bleed all over you…

cpreston's picture

So much swirling around my head and dealing with sick DD (strep throat) and the husband and work and … bills

He literally grosses three times what I do once you add up his bonuses and stock options (that's not to say that I don't make enough to live on, but he just makes ALOT more)
We have separate bank accounts

I’m already low on funds till next pay day (won’t bore you with the details) and he’s e-mailing me about bills

One minute I get these texts like he’s trying to be nice and then I get an e-mail that’s all nasty

I’m not good at confrontation
I don’t even want to go back into that house to get the rest of my stuff
After all those years “my stuff” consists of mainly clothes and some pots & pans OH and my martini glass collection… he can have it!

DD’s ‘stuff’ are clothes and the little TV my mom bought her for her room
(grandmother = A#1 child spoiler)

I’m tired
DD has me sleeping in the same bed as her
I’m not sleeping well at all, love her but she’s ALL Over the bed (it’s a Queen size bed)

I need to take my clothes out of the suitcase (except that the house is a big closet for my mother, every bedroom dressers and closets are full of her clothes!)

I love my Mom…she wants me to live there
I told her I don’t want to be hypocrite, she said “there’s no comparison…you are not a user, you are a giver, a contributor…nothing hypocritical about you living here”
She said it’s be a help to her, she’s not getting any younger, can’t do the stairs very well and I can do things around the house and help pay bills like I did before

My mom works out of state, she leaves early Monday and comes home late Friday
I don’t know…. Just thinking out loud…


NevermoreLenore's picture

It sounds like you have a very compassionate, kind, and supportive mother. I envy you Smile . Take the help she wants to give you.

Your daughter should do well with everything with two such strong ladies to lean on and guide her. You already know you have the strength to make it through this.
!(((( hugs))))))

Your husband....leave him a great big Dorian fruit as a parting gift

Bossladee's picture

Sounds like your mom and you are lucky to have each other...sweet of her to tell you the difference between a moocher and an equal partner, too bad it sounds like your DH did not Sad Also, mom not being home every day will help keep the nerves from being frazzled sharing a home, more like 'weekend visits' from someone who truly loves you (and your DD)

Hope your DD gets well soon, I've had strep ONCE and it was absolutely AWFUL!!

misSTEP's picture

Maybe one of the things you can ask your mother if you can do (which would keep your mind busy...if you have the time) is go through her things and sort them out. Maybe she could either sell them on consignment or something.

I really don't know what to say or do. It has to be tough for you. But you are doing the right thing. Don't let him bully you. Have you been to see a lawyer yet?

Make sure you ask for alimony since he makes so much more than you and you were married for so long. Even if you don't want it, it makes a good bargaining chip.

cpreston's picture

the upside of this is that my mom has a FABULOUS wardrobe and she's told me to feel free to wear what I want

nothinforya's picture

It's just stuff left behind. Let it go. It will feel better once you think of those things as gone for good.

Would your mom mind if you did a good cleanout of the upstairs? Declutter and reorganize? Take the clothes that are useful and donate the rest? That could make you feel more comfortable, and help her out, too. It sounds like win-win for you to stay with her for a while, and a comfort for all of you.

Let the husband stew. Don't even respond to his messages. Take your name off any bill that is relevant to his dwelling, and don't worry about the rest.