What to do, what to do?
So SDs are with us for a month.
Except SD11 who is off to a week long camp soonish.
DH never did plan a vacation with them after I refused to do so. He then tried, literally, blaming me. You know, because I have the ability to organize and plan ahead and he can't. I told him that no, I'm NOT planning a vacation for "everyone" on my own, period. If it's he and I alone, sure. Add the SDs, then he must, must help on every decision because nothing is blowing back onto me. I've learned. So by the end of that conversation he apologized and we moved on.
To last week, right before SDs arrived. He's not happy nothing is "planned" for the summer. Told him, hey, I spoke with both you and SD13 several times about planning - back in May/June. If neither of you did anything, that's not my issue. I have a job, I cannot plan YOUR day trips. In addition, I'm cutting back the time I had off for the "vacation" we were supposed to have (see above) and only taking a couple days to do things around home. And I stuck to it.
DH and I took the girls paddle-boarding over this weekend. We all like to do it in spite of SD13s whining about the water and "Will I get wet?!" I just turned to her and said, "You've done this several times before, who CARES if you get wet, deal with it." DH didn't say anything because he knows she was trying to get out of it. DH was also upset about how weak she is (laying around in your bed all day, literally, does not help out one's muscle strength)...in any case we all get out there and I eventually notice that SD11 does not have her ankle tether on. Note this is a BAY with CURRENT and BOATS and WAVES. I ask DH, did you know her tether is off? DH says, yes, It was bothering her so I told her she could take it off. Me: J*zees Chr$st and I paddle off by myself to cool down. I ignore until DH says he's taking SD13 back and I can stay out with SD11. So he goes off and I go to SD11, "Why is your tether off?" SD11, "It was bothering me." Me, "Let me see it in case it's broken." I look at it, "SD11, it's in better shape than the one I have with no sharp or itchy edges. What is the issue?" SD11, "It's bothering my ankle and feels weird." Me, "You know, you just have to get used to it..." Then I give her the reason for the tether and why it's necessary. She refuses to use my board and tether. She refuses to put hers on. So I tell her, "Well, we're going back then." Really, I'm not putting a kid in my care with lack of a main safety feature that's easy to use. If the rental place had seen that I'm sure they would have demanded we come in. (this is also the same kid that has had a meltdown about wearing a paper bracelet at a trampoline place and sat out because she refused to wear it just over a year ago).
Later, DH is PO'd at me and will NOT listen to why it's a safety feature. He's just mad that I even brought it up. I told him, "I guess I over-stepped and I should have kept my mouth shut then." DH says that it's that "same thing you think you have an issue with about making decisions...." Me, "It's not a 'thing' - it's a very real issue that happens on a regular basis, don't discount my experience." We get over it, but I guarantee you I'm not going out with them again let alone be 'in charge.' I know SD11 goes out with her TF on more rough water w/o that tether, but I'm not in charge there. Hey, they want to deal with it, they can. I'm done. Water safety is not important apparently.
NOW, DH has decided to take SD13 on a trip while SD11 is at camp. Fine with me. Was to be one or two nights away somewhere local-ish since DH doesn't have a lot of cash right now due to lack of work. He texts me this morning asking if I could pick up SD11 and her TF from camp so that SD13 and DH can go visit his family 1/2 way across the country. WTF? REALLY? Her camp? It's 3 hours, minimum, away. So this would be an all day thing, including food, getting up REALLY EARLY or taking a hotel for the night prior to pickup. Um, DH, that's a big ask, you know that. So he's now scrambling to find out if TF's mom can pick up and he drop them off....Aaaaaaand I see that plan may be falling through...he's currently scrambling.
Keep disengaged is my mantra...keep disengaged.