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Can I do anything to stop this psycho?

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

I am not sure if this is really the place for this blog, but I need some advice.  And, it does involve a step situation.  I have written about my ExH's girlfriend.  She is the one who hit one of my children and was verball abusive to them and my exH.  The woman is fu##ing crazy.   

Recently, my exH decided to end the relationship with her and forced her to move out of his house.  This started an entire series of events.  She started texting, calling and messaging me on Facebook.  She would spew these horrible, disgusting comments about my exH, me, and the kids.  She would try to cajole me into talking bad about my exH with her.  When I refused to do this, she became even more threatening.  Finally, I blocked her from being able to contact me.  Luckily, she doesn't have my email so it's been easy to keep her from contacting me.

The problem is that my DS12 is terrified of this woman.  He thinks she is psychotic and is going to hurt him or his dad.  Right after she moved out, there was an incident where she snuck in the house in the middle of the night and started screaming/throwing things around my exH's house.  My kids were both there and it scared them.  He told her to leave and she did.  So he changed the locks and made sure all windows were locked so she couldn't get back inside.

However, she came back two nights ago.  My kids were there again.  Apparently, she programmed the garage door opener into her SUV so she opened the garage door and was able to come in through the mud room.  My exH woke up to her standing over his bed.  Apparently, she was just standing there, staring at him and taking pics of him with her cell phone.  He jumped up and told her to get out of his house or he was calling the police.  She smashed his cell phone and kicked him.  My exH has some injuries to his legs so he went down.  She then started breaking stuff in his house before exiting through the front door.

Luckily, my kids didn't wake up and my exH stayed up through the night.  First thing in the morning, he went and reprogrammed the garage door opener.  Then he changed all the locks in the house again and put deadbolts on all the doors.  He is embarassed and refuses to call the police.  He only told me about this incident because she alluded to it in a message she sent to my current DH.  

I am so lost on this.  One the one hand, this woman is crazy and I am terrified that she is going to hurt one of my kids.  On the other hand, my exH wants me to leave it and not fan the flames by getting the police involved.  Without my exH's cooperation, is there anything I can do to stop her from coming around?


Aniki's picture

TIme for a restraining order. ASAP!!

This beeyotch is obviously unstable and, IMHO, your exH is a fool to be so lah-di-dah over her psychotic behavior. The kids' safety is THE most important thing and he can't guarantee it at this time.

ESMOD's picture

I would tell him simply that until he has the dangerous situation resolved (restraining order would be a good start) that the children will not be going over for visitation.  Now, I wouldn't force him to go without seeing the kids.. maybe at a neutral location (not his home or anywhere this woman might appear).  If you are worried about her following him then perhaps visitation should be suspended for a while until things cool down.

One thing I might suggest though is that he is wrong to not escalate this to the police.  Sometimes that very act will cause people to back off.  It made my abusive EX stop contacting me.  I finally involved the police and he didn't reach out to me after that time.

futurobrillante99's picture

The police should have been immediately involved for the sake of the kids. I would be really scared too.

Maxwell09's picture

I don't think there is much you can do unless there is a police report. From a judge's standpoint, you are just believing what the kids are telling you which they can't do anything about. Dad needs to file a report as it is his house and he is the one that is directly endangered. As their mom, I think you should shoot your lawyer an email asking what you can do to keep the kids until he gets his house secure. I hate that I just suggested the withhold card because that's typical GUBM, BUT this woman is sneaking into his house when he doesn't want her there MULTIPLE times. Maybe a way around this is to make sure your kids have access to phones and if another incident happens have them call you so you can send the police for a wellness visit to chekc on the kids. Dad will have no other choice but to admit the girl has been threatening and sneaking into his house which could help you get a restraining order against her.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Nope. Screw what your ex wants. This woman is DANGEROUS and has shown her dangerous behavior around your kids.

Take the threatening messages she has sent you, along with his account of what happened, and get a restraining order for your kids. Or, at the very least, call the police or an attorney to ask what your options are.

If your XH wants to be a fool, let him. However, his actions endanger your kids. Do what you have to do to protect them, be damned how he feels about it.

fakemommy's picture

Tell him he calls the police or you cal CPS. The kids were there during a violent break-in twice. This warrants a call to CPS.

MurphysLaw's picture

Get your children OUT of there!

This b!tch ain’t crazy SHE’S NUTS! And if she wants good old fashioned biblical revenge…she’ll go after the children!


justmakingthebest's picture

Why isn't he calling the police? Is he worried that becasue he is a man he will be seen as "weak"? He needs to protect y'alls kids. 

notarelative's picture

Ex should invest in an alarm system (and use it) so that he doesn't wake up with the exGF standing over his bed again.

StepUltimate's picture

Best alarm system, home-defense, and cardio buddy you could ever ask for! 

ndc's picture

I agree with those who say it doesn't matter if your ex wants to call the police.  You tell him that either he does or you do.  There WILL be a restraining order against her or you will do whatever it takes to make sure your kids aren't at his house, whether that's a call to CPS or going to court.  His ex-girlfriend sounds batshit crazy and he is putting your children in danger.  

notsurehowtodeal's picture

If they call 911 from a cell phone be sure they know to give the dispatcher their exact address. They do not need to have their Dad's permission in order to call the police if they feel unsafe.

Depending on their ages, tell them how to keep themselves safe by either leaving the house and going to a neighbors or hiding. (The same rules would apply as do in an active shooter situation - flee if can, hide if you can't)

This woman sounds truly dangerous  - I agree with those advising not to let them visit at the house until the situation is resolved. You might be able to get at least a temporary restraining order without a police report. Your ex needs to quit worrying about his pride and start worrying about his kids.