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lying and feeling violated plus no boundaries walks right into our bedroom!

ta5's picture

My side garage door a direct enterance to our home thur the garage keeps getting unlocked. I keep acusing and scolding my kids. My dh even claimed someone was lying. Then this weekend sd walks into our bedroom at 7 am says front door was unlocked. Made up a big lie how she was going to ring the door bell but she wiggled it and it opened. I locked the door the night before. Well it was open she said. I was silently thinking wht the fuxxx are u doing walking in my room dad says nothing and hugs her oh brother no privacy I. Swear. Yes she has walked in on us having sex and didn't barge in for a while haha. Welll another thing same day she called us while we were at the grocery store saying the front door was unlocked I am at the house where are u? =I watched my son lock the door! Funny the garage door was unlocked too! Again my spouse claiming we were not locking doors. I told him your dau is climbing the fence going thu the garage and out the front door. He didn't say a word to her. I feel violated she leaves doors unlocked and leaves us vounerable plus we take the blame. What should I do.

NYStep30's picture

I might consider setting up a camera to find out wat's going on. Either way, you will know and then you can show DH. If it is her, he'll see the lengths she's going to in order to lie about it.

Kes's picture

If I have understood the process she is going through - you want to change the lock on the garage door and make is so that she CANNOT get in that way, for a while, even if it is inconvenient for the rest of you.

I wasn't clear why she goes out the front door and leaves it open???? If it has a Yale lock on it you maybe want to put one of those heavy self-closers at the top of the door so that it swings shut and locks after her.

Whatever -take what practical steps you have to, in order to preserve your security. That is one issue. YOur DH believing his daughter rather than you is, to my mind, a more crucial issue, and one that you need to tackle head on.

kathc's picture

Easy. Get new locks, the kind that will open from the inside without being unlocked and the door stays locked from the outside. Or, change all the damn locks, don't leave anything open and don't give the kid a key.

SMof2Girls's picture

^^This. Seems like a simple enough solution.

Another option would be to get the dead bolts that only lock with a key. Lock all the doors with the key before you leave and before bed; and there's no way she's getting it open.

Might be a safety hazard or something though if there's a fire ...

WarmBody's picture

Get a cheap motion sensor camera and catch the culprit in the act. Just changing the locks will only cause them to try something else and realize someone is onto them.

ta5's picture

thanks for the comments, i love this web site it helps me feel I am normal.
She unlocks the garage door when she visits and goes out the regular way. It is a set up for her return. When she returns she climbs the fence and comes in through that door does what she wants and goes out the front. Its easier than reclimbing the fence. I dont care that she comes in its leaving both doors unlocked and taking the fall for it and the lying that is pissing me. Dad knows its her and told me he thinks that is how she is getting in. He wont say shit to her. He doesnt have control over her she does what she wants .. she is 11 and has no rules.

We locked the garage and I will watch everytime she comes over that I lock the side garage door. Stealing yes, she is moraless believes its ok to take what is not hers. Her mom is clepto and so is her older sister. I had a necklace disappear for two months and suddenly reappear.It was a real pisser bcuz my husband claimed I lost it and see if he buys me something like that again! Not ok. I made sure and pointed out that it suddenly reappeared. He knows its her and doesnt have the notion how to parent. My daughters lotions disappeared and reappeared and now her set of nail polishes are gone. My daughter has a lock on her door and uses it now. I do not as stated she walks in my room when were in there has no boundaries.

Jellybeam's picture

The part that would REALLY piss me off is that DH is lying about the kid having a key. A little secret behind your back. Also, the lil shit cant even lock up behind herself. But if she did, you may never have known that she was there. I hope your bedroom door locks. Oh wait, I guess DH would just her a key to that too!

ta5's picture

Yes she has a key but either lost it or is too lazy to use it. She claims she doesnt know how to lock the front door. Yes she is 11 . I am going to make it my priority to constantly keep both doors locked. Bedroom door locks but we never have locked it before. He has no boundaries with her period. He doesnt get it and thinks its ok that she come in. Shxx he was going to the bathroom with the door closed and she knocked on it said she wanted to give him a kiss and he said wait I am going to the bathroom. She ignored him, said I dont care and kissed him. OMG trouble, He is the problem and I know that now. BUT I AM MARRIED TO him! He his stubborn and set in his ways and its hard to convince him of anything. i was thinking about just having my kids do the same thing she has been doing calling it to his face! and giving it right back. Hmmm maybe he might think twice if its not just concerning his precious sybil

Flustered's picture

I had to change my door locks when my DH died. After 50 years? He had at lesat 4 family members with keys. 2 walked in, including SD. Got deadbolts and new garage doors too. Thinking if getting a camera as I think she is capable of more.

Winterglow's picture

Put up a no trespassing sign and call the cops immediately if she tries to get in again. IT is your home not hers.

Rags's picture

They automatically lock.  Give each person their own code. THat way, no more manipulation and lying.

SKid can't blame it on anyone else as the only way they get in is their own code.  

Rags's picture

They automatically lock.  Give each person their own code. THat way, no more manipulation and lying.

SKid can't blame it on anyone else as the only way they get in is their own code.  

Once you have installed the keypad locks, I also recommend cameras at every door, and SKid lies, be ready for the future "but I'm not lying this time!" crap.  Once a liar, always a liar, until a significant number of years of no lying has passed.

Lying was nearly a capital offense for my parents raising their kids, and for DW and I raising SS.

Get devious in solving the problem.  Never forget that experience and age will trump youth and inexeperience every time. Box the SKid and her daddy in so there is no way for them to not have their noses rubbed in the stench of the SKids mainpulation and lies.

Have fun!

Diablo