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CPS at my house

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

I am so furious right now.  A few days ago, a cop showed up at our door with a CPS worker in tow.  They wanted to speak to SD12, who is not here.  She is visiting BM for the summer.  The cop and CPS worker asked to be shown in.  They looked through our house, checked if we had food, made us show that we had running water and talked to my Bios.  The reason for all of this:  BM's lies to the school.

DH sent SD12 to visit her mother as ordered by our new CO.  SD12 hadn't finished some of her schoolwork because she is lazy and has been refusing to do the work.  DH told her before she left that she had a week to submit her remaining assignments or she would have to repeat her current grade.  Instead of working with SD to get the work done, BM ignored the issue until the last possible day that the assignments were due (despite my DH calling/texting every day to remind them and to pass along messages from SD's teachers).  Against his better judgement, DH gave BM the information for SD's teachers so she could help her finish her work.  BM, being the lax, ridiculous parent that she is, decides that it would be better to appeal to SD's teachers for an extension.  Instead of blaming SD's laziness for her being behind, she emails the school, outlining a long list of ridiculous abuse allegations against DH and me.  She claims that we starved SD12, that we punish her and make her clean the house so she has no time for homework and how she is terrified of my DH.  She then tells the teachers that SD will be the victim of abuse if she has to come back next school year and not have her work done.  The school, of course, calls CPS as they are obligated. 

The CPS lady and cop came out here for a few hours.  When they left, they were convinced that it was unfounded, but have to speak to SD first.  They called BM while they were here but she had a million and one excuses for why SD couldn't come to the phone.  She decided to start ranting about how abusive we are on the phone.  Luckily for us, the CPS worker saw through this and called the cops in BM's hometown.  They drove out and spoke to SD12 without her mom present.   We are not sure what was said as we haven't heard anything else.

I told my DH if SD12 agrees with her mom's ridiculous allegations and we end up being investigated further that she cannot live here anymore.  He will have to find another place for him to live with her.  I am not going to risk the custody of my bios, especially our brand new 4 month old over a bunch of lies.

The fact of the matter is that SD12 is lazy and entitled.  She wants to go back to live with BM because there are no rules or expectations at BM's house.  She told DH this, but he told her that she was not old enough to make an informed decision.  This was their way of trying to get around it.  The only thing that has probably saved this from being worse is that I don't believe SD12 would lie to the police.  She is the type of kid who will clam up but will not directly lie to you.  My DH communicated to the CPS worker how important it is that SD be interviewed without BM or SD15 nearby.  It also helps that the judge called BM paranoid in our custody papers and references her erratic behavior and history of making up false allegations.

I am just so tired of this crap.  It seems like we are always dealing with BM's stuff.  As soon as it seems to calm down, she has to start it again.  SD is so ungrateful and does not appreciate it here.  It is so hard for me not to take this personally.  I don't think I can act like nothing happened if she lied to the police.  I am so overwhelmed and angry at the whole intrusion.  UGH!

Comments

Kes's picture

I don't blame you - I too would have said what you said - ie that SD can't live there any more and he would have to find somewhere else to live with her.  I had kind of a similar situation with lies about abuse from NPD BM, not long after I started seeing DH.  She told him she had informed social services.  When DH contacted them, as advised by me, they had never heard of her or her daughters.  After that, I said, I am never being alone with your daughters, even for 10 minutes, if their mother is going to make up such dangerous and toxic lies.  

Harry's picture

let BM have her.  You do not need CPS your home anymore.  If they look enough they will find something.  Then there will be lawyers fee and your name will be sh*t for the rest of your life.  You will not get jobs ect for nothing 

if SD wants BM she can have her.  SD not allowed in your home anymore.  DH can see her away from your home.  You totally disengage 

SteppedOut's picture

This. Even if sd doesn't lie (this time), I would be done after that one visit.

Sorry, but even the potential risk of losing my children over skid nonsense would be a no go for me.

thinkthrice's picture

the nail in the coffin was when the Gir launched a phoney CPS investigation because she didnt like that she was losing power to Chef and that Chef actually started parenting and not simply befriending.  She actually went so far as throw her weight around as an actual worker to keep us from getting our copy of the report and running it up the flagpole to the New York State child abuse and mistreatment registry!  All without any ability to refute or have a fair hearing.

The Gir WORKED for CPS one county over at the time as a caseworker. (gives you an idea of the the "quality" of these workers...most are ex-despising GUBMs themselves intent on revenge)

When it was uncovered that the ferals lied to CPS as well in order to "make mommy happy" that was it. Done.  Took me almost a year to get it reversed to "unfounded" which further enraged the Gir.

If SD goes along with the BM (and they usually do)  that would be toast time for me.

 

tog redux's picture

Alienated kids will do surprising things. She may in fact lie to the police. My SS lied to a judge in her chambers. 

Siemprematahari's picture

I don't blame you for being upset. The amount of toxicity that is being brought to your home is outstanding and you have to protect you & yours at all cost. I think you made a good call with telling your H if he's going to be with his daughter to do so "outside" your home. Do not give SD or BM any ammo to invade your life. She can't take that dysfunction and keep it in her home.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Considering how much evidence there is for this you could bring a law suit against BM for harassment in the very least. You can also use it if your partner wishes to restrict BM’s access to the children more (not sure what the current order is like). You could easily show the court that BM fails to meet the child’s educational needs which is considered neglect.

Again I don’t know what all you guys have been through and what everything is like for you but in this case it’s clear that leaving the child with BM would NOT be a good idea. While it would give you guys peace it would be a detriment to the child’s wellbeing.

thinkthrice's picture

But the BM/Skid-centric courts would throw it out.  After all it's just mommykins being conceeeeeeeeerrrrrnnnnnned.  (TM)

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Depends on the court and / or how much you want to fight / appeal. The harassment case wouldn’t be in the family court as it is since it’s not connected to child custody.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

That bloody well SUCKS! Puzzled, I am SO sorry this has happened to you. What a crock of shite.

I also believe that SD should no longer be allowed in your home. Your bios needs to be protected from B!tchMom and Stepsh!tDaughter. To be honest, I think your DH needs to be extremely careful going forward with SD and limit his visitiation to public places. You don't need the nanny cams if that little PITA isn't there. {{{hugs}}}