Couching my thoughts aka stepkid but once removed
So, we have had Sweetheart Niece for 3 nights now. Shes slept on the couch each night and politely folded her sheet and blanket each time. Shes fun and nice to be around. Shes friendly. Shes funny. Shes many things. She did some dishes. Already I feel ahead of things.
She is trying to get low-income housing and apparently Toxic Troll tried coaching her with how to use an old bf, recreate him as a stalker and then mention that on your application (bonus points if you have an old or existing restraining oder).
Toxic Troll is BM so that significantly helps, plus shes got her "disability" head case. SHN has heart issues, diabeties etc, but I guess shes not disabled enough. Shes working with people in social security to get the SSI figured out.
So my thoughts:
1. Timelines - there are none. Its a day-to-day existence, and she isnt working a regular job, just a cash under the table thing for family. So, the regular conversations that we would have about expectations and timelines and what are the plans, all these go out the window. And I have to be ok with that to have her with us.
2. Trust - she was involved with a shady guy who took all her money, 250k, that she had gotten from the death of her mother. I have questions now that the 3 night romance is over. Its her choice to he houseless, because she HAD 2 places to stay - her sister and sisters husband had her there for a little while. Supposedly, her sister wanted her to be a complete nanny to the 2 nephews as well as allow herself to be tracked and give up addresses of friend and anyone she would visit. Prior to that, Husbands sister housed her. That didnt work out because the benefits were "taking too much time", and she wanted to track her whereabouts also. SO, because she did not want to allow tracking, and that was the condition of staying, she was willing to sleep in her car. We have not spoken to either, and she doesnt want anyone told shes with us currently. And Husband wont talk to his sister...to see if the truth is being told.
3. Loyalty - I was even speaking of it WITH her, and its something that is always preying on my mind. The family is loyal to family. If and when anything happens to Husband, I will not ever hear or see any of his family ever again, except in passing on the street. Any and all resources spent on her, no matter what or how much or how long, if it comes down to it, her loyalties will ALWAYS go to Husband, Powersulk and The Family. She claimed that if anyone "came after me" in the event of Husbands demise, that she would defend me. But who wants to test THAT?
4. Space - Nice as she is, if she isnt contributing, shes in our space. Shes either in the garage with Husband or on the couch. Id rather her be in a separate room...but even then, as nice as she is, shes in my space. Without getting any rent in exchange. Not a dime. So why sacrifice privacy for nothing in return? Ive been waiting 10 years to be "empty nesting". Im enjoying her company, but cant walk around nekkid, the romance is curtailed a bit.
I basically have to accept that Im doing this completely alturistically without ANY benefit to myself, without expectations of any kind. And be ok with it.