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At a loss

Cbarton12's picture

SD(6) is in Kinder. Twice this year she's left PE without permission just because she "doesn't like PE". And today at the field trip to the zoo, SD stayed at the playground when her class left because she supposedly didn't hear her class calling her. 

The prior 2 times she lost TV privileges for 2 days. But both times DH still played board games with her or SD played with toys. IMO this defeats the purpose of a punishment if she still gets to have fun. Any insight or differing opinions? I am childfree and have no other experience. 

Plus the second time she left PE he let SD watch TV on the 2nd day though we had agreed she couldn't. When I called him out on this it became a fight. 

Clearly, losing TV privileges isn't working if she's still doing whatever she wants at school.

 So today DH asks what "we" should do about SD. I'm at a loss. Because I'm sure whatever I think is appropriate discipline he will take offense or if I provide criticism to his prior disciplinary techniques.


**update*** teacher's note indicates SD left the group vs what she said happened. 


Disneyfan's picture

Punishing a child should not mean missing out on quality, bonding time with parents.  Playing a board game with her father is a good thing.


I hope dad is giving the school hell.  How in the world did the teacher leave the playground without all of the students???  Hell, with her history of walking out of class, I would not have not allowed here o go on the trip without a parent.


Cbarton12's picture

Well as an update, her teacher's note says SD left the group vs what SD said happened. 

Disneyfan's picture

That's still a problem.  As a teacher, I say the teacher messed up several times.  Her first mistake was taking SD off of school grounds without a 1:1 chaperone.

The child should definitely be punished for her actions, but the teacher made bad choices as well.  Those choices could have cost her her career, license, pension....

Cbarton12's picture

I agree with this too. I'm still at a loss too how she has managed to leave PE without permission. Where is the coach? 

It's like the public schools here are overwhelmed with students. 

I just worry that this is setting SD on a bad track to worse behavior. For the most part she is a good kid, she is smart and mature. So I can't understand why she keeps repeating the same mistake. 


I don't expect her to be perfect. But BM does which is a whole other topic. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Not your circus, not your monkey. So YOU do nothing. Why?

Because I'm sure whatever I think is appropriate discipline he will take offense or if I provide criticism to his prior disciplinary techniques.

ntm's picture

For my own child is to let the school levy consequences for behavior at school and for Hubs and me to levy consequences for behavior at home. Works like a charm. And as far as skids: Let it Go. Sing the song if you have to. You can’t care more than the bio parents. So just Let it Go. 

Cbarton12's picture

In regards to PE it's "because I don't like PE" or "I wanted to go get gum". We talk to her and she says she knows it's wrong to leave without permission and why it's wrong. 

Leaving the group at the zoo, she claims it's because she didn't hear the teacher. But she used a similar excuseFriday. She left the classroom and went to cafeteria because she says she "heard" someone say daycare.

ndc's picture

At our public school, a student who left like that would be kept close to the teacher and would lose a lot of freedom. While you can (and should) punish at home, the school needs to make it very difficult for her to walk away, and also impose consequences. Losing recess is a fairly common one at SD6's school (although that seems to me to punish the teacher who has to stay inside more than the kid).  At home, if she left PE to get gum, you could say no gum for a couple weeks. It doesn't seem like losing tv privileges is working; what other currency does she have?

Cbarton12's picture

Well today she went to time out for an extended period and didnt get to practice her cartwheels and such. Here's hoping.